The 15yo did not get the internship. She was devastated. I left my staff meeting early to pick her up after school and she sobbed and sobbed in the car. It was hard.
I’m kind of having a hard time right now. Not quite sure what is going on, but I just don’t want to do much of anything. I’m really struggling to stay motivated, especially at work. It’s an exhausting place to be, mentally and emotionally.
So today is probably a good day to share five sayings I repeat (are these mantras?), that help me. I’m not really an affirmations person, but I do appreciate these little reminders.
Don’t believe everything you think. I have this on a little sign I got at the Zen Buddhist Center almost 20 years ago. Learning that much of what I believed to be true were really stories my brain invented to make sense of the world was powerful in my 20s and it’s a lesson I can never be reminded of enough.
If nothings changes, nothing changes. Tunde, one of my favorite Peloton instructors says this a lot. I’m not sure if she’s borrowing that message, but I appreciate it. When she says it, she’s reminding us that if we don’t push harder, or attempt heavier weights, we won’t get stronger. I think about the truth of that simple statement in all aspects of my life. If I don’t make changes, I can’t expect anything to change. So obvious, and yet I frequently need the reminder.
We can do hard things. I don’t remember much of Glennon Doyle’s Untamed, but I definitely chanted “we can do hard things” at my kids for a while after I read it. They were NOT fans of that phrase, but I still say it every once in a while, just to assure them that it’s true.
This too shall pass. I can get pretty stuck in the muck when I’m feeling down, and “this too shall pass,” really helps me stop projecting into the future. This too shall pass is does some heavy lifting for me.
So it’s not just a clever name. Okay, so this is not a mantra, but it is a line (from Wayne’s World!) that I quote constantly. You might not think it has a much utility in every day life, but I assure you I find ample opportunities to utter it. If you’re trying to remember the specific scene, I’ll give you a hint… the Shitty Beatles.
Thank you for sharing this!
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, and this is a good reminder to dig a little deeper and look for words that help focus on important stuff.
It’s the hardest when someone you love is struggling with disappointment (especially teenagers – they don’t want our advice and wisdom and perspective…).
Here are my top 5 mantras:
“Everything will collapse into place” – helps when I feel overwhelmed and too much is going on everywhere at once.
“Everything that happens is for the best” – my dad’s favorite, not always helpful but I say this to myself when worried about success/failure of any non-life-threatening endeavor.
“All I have is today” – mantra when I am worried about serious health stuff and dying.
“Breathing can be very dangerous, too.” – another one of my dad’s sayings. Helps when I become anxious and overthink everything (processed food! microplastics! pesticides!)
From Monty Python – song “Always Look at the Bright Side of Life”
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Oh, sorry about your daughter! That’s tough. Was this the internship you were concerned about doing all the driving for? At least you don’t have that to contend with anymore- but having a sad kid is worse.
I like your mantras! Yes, it’s important to get out of our heads and remind ourselves that it’s a big world, and our problems really are small. One of my favorite sayings is “Every day counts,” i.e., don’t just wish this day away and wait for a “better” one. Our days our finite, so we should appreciate them all. And- sometimes when problems seem overwhelming I tell myself “everything will be okay in the end.” Because it’s true! Nothing that’s happening right now is catastrophic. Everything WILL be okay. That thought can really bring me a lot of peace.
Well, it seems on key to be discouraged and worn right now. There is a lot that we cannot change right now that is happening that we wish were different. That wears on a person. And a lot is happening that feels scary/nervous/worrisome. It is a constant backdrop to our lives.
Then add on the coming holidays pressures. More stress.
Add on teen years and your eldest’s major disappointment and all the tears and right now no easy answers/solutions she can hear. Next year is a LONG way off for her today. Thinking about how to strengthen her skill set for next year is not something she can hear right now and may not be willing to hear for a long time because immediacy and hope can be important and tough. I am truly sorry for her. This is very hard.
‘If it feels like hell, don’t stop, keep going and it will change’ ~ is sure one phrase I know. ‘One foot in front of another with nose above toes.’ is another. And then there is ‘Tomorrow is another day” and “People survive over time” which sometimes is grimmer than other times.
HOLD HANDS reminds me there is support. THANK YOU for holding mine, I am holding back. I am repeating a variation on “The sun rose. Birds sang. Grass grew. Flowers bloomed. Rivers flowed. Stars twinkled. And the world went on.”
Love these phrases! I’m going to try to say some of them myself.
One we say a lot is “people overestimate what they can accomplish in a day and underestimate what they can accomplish in a year.” Basically… every weekend we fail to accomplish the project we set out to complete, we say this on repeat.
Half assed is better than no assed. I say this to myself a lot, especially with regard to exercise!
I’m really sorry you’re struggling right now. And oh, your poor kiddo. What a disappointment. These are fantastic mantras. Like “this too shall pass,” I try to tell myself Nicole’s words of wisdom “there will be a time after this.” My dad had a saying that “you can hold your breath that long” for getting through tough or distasteful things, and I still think that, too.
So sorry your daughter didn’t get the internship. It hurts now but I hope something even better will come along!
I love a good mantra/affirmation! My favorites are:
We can do hard things!
We don’t have to, we get to!
Run the mile you’re in (not just when I am running).
We don’t have to, we get to, is also a big one for me. I love Jess Sims! I’ve been thinking of joining the #gettocrew. I still don’t do any of that on Peloton…