Watch tons of stuff. We watched Sinners last night after we got home (so good, I highly recommend). Then we watched two episodes of I Love LA. Today I finished El Cuco de Cristal on Netflix (I’m so mad I didn’t know this was a Javier Castillo book! I loved the Miren Triggs (Snow Girl) trilogy. He just put out another book in October so I may listen to that.) Tonight we’ll probably keep watching Task. I’m really liking it but the husband is suspending judgement until the end, which he doubts will be satisfying. We shall see (he did not watch The Mare of Eastown, which I watched and really liked).
Eat left overs. Already did this for a late lunch today, and will surely do it again tomorrow!
Have dinner and drinks with the husband. We have a 5:30 reservation for dinner and then a later reservation for drinks at a spot we can never get into. I’m excited to go out!
Reconnect. We’re planning on walking to dinner tonight, so lots of talk time. We realized today that we started dating 20 years ago this coming January. That is crazy. I’m so glad we found each other and have stayed together. The early years of parenting were hard on our marriage, but it’s better now, as long as we put in the work. I’m really grateful we have this time together.
Sleep in, laze around. We already did this a lot today. It’s chilly in our house and we stayed in bed chatting for a long time. I was on the couch with a cat on my lap watching episodes of Cuco de Cristal for a while this morning (the hubs was playing video games). Besides getting brunch tomorrow we’ll probably do more of the same tomorrow. I love lounging around the house when there are no kids in it.
5 things I’m NOT doing
Laundry.
Cleaning.
Work.
Commenting on blogs. (It will have to wait until Sunday – the last day of NaBloPoMo.)
Health. Everyone in our immediate family, right now, is healthy. Even all four grandparents are healthy. After all my health issues recently, and the sudden loss of a close friend we suffered this year, I don’t take our current health for granted. Heck, even Serval seems to be doing a lot better!
Happiness. There are ups and downs to be sure, but no one is battling depression or intense anxiety right now. With a 15yo sophomore and and a 12yo who started middle school this year, I consider us very fortunate in the emotional well-being department.
Friendship. Both kids got to see friends this week. The 15yo has had a hard go of it, friendship wise, the past 18 months, but things seem to be evening out. The 12yo has kept, and even expanded, his friend group at the start of middle school. The husband goes out for dinner and drinks with people a couple times a month. My little friend group is still supporting each other, and a couple of us really need that support right now. No one feels alone. There were a lot of Thanksgivings when I felt like I had no friends living close to me, and I was so, so lonely. I am always grateful for friendship.
Financial security. We are very lucky to have secure, stable jobs. We’ve never made a lot of money, but we’ve made very consistent money and we were fortunate to have parents who could support us when we started out, so we’re not paying off crazy student debt. We are very financially fortunate, and I probably do take our financial security for granted, though I always try to be aware of it.
My family. Things are not perfect in our little family of four. The husband and I are really hoping to reconnect this weekend while the kids are at my parents’ house, because we need it. The 12yo is very much tweening, which can be rough for all of us and the 15yo has been managing some big emotions this year. But! We enjoy each other’s company (for the most part) and I love spending time with them. When I was fighting so hard to build a family, what we have is exactly what I envisioned, and who gets to say that? I am very grateful for our family of four.
We just found out that the family friends who usually come to Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house are sick so they won’t be able to make it. In the past their highschooler has made it hard for our 12yo to enjoy the evening, so I’m very relieved that we won’t have to navigate that dynamic today! Kind of a big win, honestly!
I hope everyone has a delightful Thanksgiving with whomever you celebrate with!
Changing the cats’ food. We have been feeding the cats the same thing for 2.5 years. We’ve always had to monitor their meals because Serval (the fat cat) always finishes first, and wants to help Panther (the skinny black cat) eat the rest of her food. That has been annoying, to say the least. This week I’ve been trying to slowly change Serval’s food so that he’s eventually eating entirely Urinary Care c/d prescription food, ideally mostly wet food. This has been hard because Panther is VERY interested in the new foods, so I’ve been giving a lot of it to her too, even though it’s expensive prescription food that she doesn’t need (but can eat, it’s fine the vet said). Serval is finally eating all of the prescription dry, but will only eat the prescription wet for a day or two before he starts refusing it. This is bad. because he needs to eat some wet food for his chronic constipation, not just his urinary issues. It’s been so stressful and so annoying and I’m so over it. I’m also over cleaning up throw up, which is still happening every other day (when we attempt a new wet food). Boo. This sucks and I want it to be over.
Keeping track of deliveries and returns. A lot of Christmas presents are coming in, and a lot of things need to be returned. But it’s hard to keep track of everything, and to make sure I have the correct items, packaged in the correct ways, being returned to the correct spots. I’ve even had to return a bunch of cat food this week! It’s just a lot, and it’s stressful, and I’m frustrated that I made so many mistakes in my ordering, so that all this returning is necessary.
Managing the kids’ (and husband’s) expectations. Everyone has expectations during a break, and they don’t all line up! As is always the case, I feel like I’m the cruise director in charge of managing everyone’s wants and needs during this week off. Unfortunately, when friends are involved, there is only so much I can do to ensure we’re all getting quality time with our preferred people. It doesn’t help that I’m also tasked with limiting screen time and requiring chore completion. All in all, it’s a pretty demanding, and thankless job. Yay for being a mother!
Managing my own expectations. I knew going into the break that I was not going to accomplish all I set out to do, but I’m still feeling bummed out by how few big ticket items I’ll be able to cross off my to-do list at the end of the week. I really wanted to steam clean all the upstairs floors, but with the constant cat throw up, I’ll need to table that, probably until the winter break. I could still do a deep clean downstairs (the cats don’t go there), but I’m not sure when that will get done. I keep reminding myself that the upstairs bathroom did get done. The Christmas tree is up, the lights are on, and it’s been affixed to the wall (good thing too, because Panther already climbed up into it). And the main calendar is done, I just need to make copies and edit it for my parents and the inlaws. This isn’t nothing. But it also feels like not enough.
I’m even falling short of my NaBloPoMo posting and commenting expectations. I want to be so much more involved and present, and I am definitely failing at that. I’m lucky if I comment on four or five blogs a day, and eek out a post before midnight. Blerg. Where is all the time I was supposed to have this week?!
Spiraling about winter break (and sring 2026). Like last year, we’re not doing much this year. I was struck, when I created the calendar, that besides the trip to the snow during last year’s winter break, all our photos were basically from the summer. We just didn’t really do anything memorable during the rest of the year. This year is set to be more of the same – except our snow trip is in February (that I am not personally excited about)- so nothing at all will happen this coming winter break, or really at all until next summer. The husband went to Amsterdam in October and is going to Berlin in two weeks (both for work) and it feels like I have nothing to look forward to. It’s kind of bumming me out.
I know we’re very lucky to do the traveling we do do in the summer, and I know many families don’t get to travel at all. I just feel like I need something to stand out, and even attempts at smaller trips have fallen flat. I tried to plan a trip to visit my friend in New York over Spring Break (I am off the week after my kids are this year), but she only can take on day off that week, so it feels like it wouldn’t be worth it for such expensive flights (she lives in Albany, not NYC, so it doesn’t make as much sense for me to be there while she’s working). I was trying to figure out a road trip to LA over the winter break, but even that doesn’t really make sense with our friends’ availability. My friends and I have been trying to plan a weekend away for over a year, and now a few of them have family complications that make anything for the next six months impossible. Right now Christmas break, and all the months in 2026 before summer are just stretched out before me, a big block of monotony. It doesn’t feel great. I need to change my mindset to be sure.
It’s a good thing you tied this tree to the wall because I’m up pretty high right now.
The 15yo and I went to the outlets today. I have never in my life gone to the outlets myself, for no other reason than to do so. I’ve been with other people, usually because we’re near them on our way to somewhere else, and last year we stopped by some on our way home from the snow, when we charged the car. I’ve been interested in going again ever since, so I decided we’d hit up the big ones in Livermore (about 45 minutes away) today. The 15yo’s friend was supposed to join us, but had to cancel last minute and that ended up being really good because we had so much fun together. It was a great day. And… we got some good stuff, at fabulous prices. Here is what we picked up.
Lululemon skirt ($30). I already bought two Lululemon skirts (same style, one black, one blue) online, to wear with my many leggings. The store at the outlet was really overwhelming; it was big and it was packed. I found the skirt I already got, but in a color that was not offered online (a lovely green), so I grabbed that I used the gift card I got when I took back a grey version of the skirt that I didn’t love (it was final sale, so I could only return it for store credit) to buy it. Then I peaced out of that place, because it was stressful!
3 pairs of Underarmor pants ($20 each). Some Underarmor pants fit the 12yo pretty well; they are slim fitting in the waist, but long enough for my tall, skinny kid. They also aren’t super cheap. So when I saw a $20 special on fleece pants that seemed like they would fit him relatively well, I went for it. If they are too big now, they will fit him later, because they are plenty long enough.
Converse sneakers ($30). The 15yo really loves Converse. They are her favorite shoes. Today she found a pair that she really liked that are more like athletic shoes, and she doesn’t really have a pair of shoes that are good for PE, so we got them. We didn’t realize that everything in the Converse store was 50% off when we brought them to the counter, so we were delighted to hear they were only $30.
7 for all mankind jeans ($80). I have not been in a 7 for all mankind store in over a decade. How can their jeans be $250?! The clearance rack was a mess, the sizes were all over the place and there wasn’t much selection. I found a pair of grey jeans I liked that fit me in size 24 (never have I ever worn a size 24). Another pair I liked was way too small in size 28. A pair of khaki colored pants (they weren’t even jeans) I LOVED were a little too small in size 27. And finally I found a light blue pair of jeans in size 26 (also not a size I’ve ever worn) that I loved and fit well, so I went with those. I have to admit, it will probably be the 7 for all mankind outlet that lures me back to Livermore again… I am a sucker for a pair of really nice designer jeans, but even an $80 price tag was hard for me to accept.
Two pairs of Gap jeans ($23 each). Okay, I confess, I really love Gap. I have a LOT of Gap clothing. I really like a lot of their styles and their clothes generally fit me well. All the Gap stores in our area have closed, so I can only buy their stuff online now. Which is fine – it’s easy to return stuff that doesn’t fit – still, I was excited that these outlets have a Gap Factory. Except it totally sucked! It was big and had so many clothes, but not many different styles. A lot of what was there just seemed… low quality. The initial prices weren’t knocked down, they just had 40-50% off most stuff. I did find a couple pairs of jeans I liked and they ended up being really cheap, but the experience was a let down.
And that is what we did get. There was plenty we didn’t get too. We didn’t get anything in the Nike store; they had no “slim fit” pants in sizes less than L, and no Jordans I thought the 12yo might like. We didn’t get anything at Uggs either; most of it wasn’t on sale at all, and the stuff that was was still over $100 a pair. Crocs was also a bust (I”m looking for a new pair for the 12yo for Christmas, because his Pringles pair is going to be too small soon). We meant to stop in The Northface on our way out, but there was a long line to get in by then. I was bummed because the 15yo’s backpack just broke and I wanted to see if I could another one on sale.
All in all I would call it a successful trip to the outlets. We got a late start, and the threat of bridge traffic on the way back meant we couldn’t stay longer than we originally intended. Which was fine, because the amount of stores, and people, was overwhelming. I feel like now that we’ve gone once, and no what to expect, we can go again in six months or so and be way more strategic. I can see us braving them again before the next school year, when I have to restock the kids closets and maybe a grab a few things for my own. 😉
Do you like going to the outlets? Are there any nearby? What stores have the best deals?
I’m not sure what to write. I woke up with a cold last night and I don’t feel great. The 15yo has this cold (she gave it to me, how kind) and it seems to be lingering for her. I’m trying to accept it with equanimity. because it’s not the worst timing, and what can I do?
The kids and I cleaned the bathroom. The shower was disgusting. DIS-GUST-ING. All three of us worked on it and it took a couple hours. It was really stressing me out, so I’m relieved that its done. I’m also relieved that I am teaching my kids how to do some deep cleaning. I definitely need them to help more around the house, but they can’t help if they don’t know how.
{Turns out the husband also can’t help if he doesn’t know how, but the thought of having to teach a grown ass adult this stuff hits different. I know I’ve helped create these patterns, that verge on learned helplessness, but this is all fodder for another post.}
We watched RRR tonight with the kids. They LOVED it. I must admit, I’m a little impressed that they could hang for a three hour foreign language film (we watched in Hindi with the English subtitles). We haven’t watched a movie together in a long time, and it was a lot of fun. I really enjoy watching movies with my family.
I started the calendar. I plan to finish our version (which I also order for my parents) tomorrow and then work on the version for my in-laws on Tuesday. Tomorrow I have to update all the birthday squares, which always takes longer than I expect. I’ve been working on it while the 15yo and I watch the third season of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which definitely helps. 😉
I think I might almost be done getting Christmas gifts for the kids. I have a couple things I know the 15yo is going to love, but I’ve been a little stressed about the 12yo; I just don’t have anything I think he’ll be really excited about. In the hope of avoiding a mediocre Christmas, we just booked the same AirBnB we went to in the snow last year, because he’s been talking a lot about how much he enjoyed that trip and wants to go again. Now that is going to be his big surprise for Christmas (I’ve been telling him we can’t go again this year). I really did NOT want to go to the snow again this year (you may remember I thought the trip was pretty “meh” last year), but the 12yo is not always super enthusiastic about the non-video game parts of his life, so it feels like indulging his desire to visit the snow with his family is not a big ask. I really want to plan a final visit to Disneyland at some point but that costs serious $$$, and I don’t think anyone else really cares about going, so I’m reading the room and making the easier, cheaper, trip happen.
I plan to put up the tree and our other decorations this coming week, but there are already glimpses of Christmas in our house. Here are a few.
I got this amazing throw at Grocery Outlet last week. I love it. This jeweled garland was on sale at Costco and has been lighting our mantel few a few days. The holiday Squishmallows are above the TV. Christmas stuff is definitely coming. All the advent calendars have been ordered and two of the three have arrived. The kids’ new ornaments also came, a scuba diver with sea turtle for the 15yo and a video game + snacks celebration for the 12yo. I wore my favorite Christmas leggings to school on Friday.
Are you letting Christmas in early this year? When will you officially start your holiday decorating?
When I got to school today I was informed that it was cancelled, because of a water main break. No bathrooms = no school. So I spent the next hour watching student faces light up and parent faces fall as I broke the news through rolled-down car windows.
We were initially told we had to go to the other middle school to work in an empty classroom. Then we were told we could stay at our own campus (the Starbucks nearby still had water). Finally, around 10am we were told we could work from home.
I have to say, it was kind of nice to have a surprise work day. The Friday before Thanksgiving break is a pretty nice day to have it. I was supposed to give my two 1B classes a quiz, but otherwise I didn’t have much planned.
Here are five things I did get done today.
General prep work. I made a bunch of copies for next week, and printed a bunch of stuff on the color printer. I also picked up my room a bit.
Individualized comments. I commented on all 60 free writes for my 1A students. I have been dreading those and it was so nice to get them done. And I didn’t even have to lug them home!
So many handwritten notes!
Coached the husband through cleaning up cat puke. As expected, the cat reacted badly to the new food (even though I gave him so little of it) and I had to coach the husband through cleaning it up. After dinner I had to clean up cat puke all over the living room. It was so bad I called the vet and they said to stop giving Serval the antibiotics until he can keep the new food down better. Serval is a very rotund cat, so normally him keeping food down wouldn’t concern me much (in the short term), but the new food is what will help the crystals in his bladder resolve, so he does actually have to keep it down. I hope tomorrow, without the antibiotics, is better.
I don’t feel so good.
Impromptu run. I was not planning to run, but the stars aligned and I realized I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. First, I had a snack around 11am, so I had some fuel in me. Then there wasn’t any pizza left when I went to get some (our admin didn’t order enough and they felt so badly about it), so I didn’t eat lunch (I can’t run within a couple hours of eating or I get a side stitch). When I left school to run errands at 1pm, I realized that the weather was beautiful, I had all my running stuff (I planned to run after work on Wednesday, but it didn’t happen), and I had the time. So I changed and went up to my favorite spot for a very lovely 40 minute run.
Errands. Even with the unscheduled run, I still had time to run a couple errands. The most important was returning a bunch of wet food I bought a couple of weeks, that we don’t need now with the dietary changes we need to make. I couldn’t find the receipt but luckily I am a VitalCare rewards member so I was able to return them without any issue. It was over $100 worth of wet food cans, so I was very relieved that I could get my money back.
I’ve only been getting about 5.5 hours of sleep a night this week and am starting to feel it. Between the cat puke, and the disaster area of a kitchen I came home to, I am feeling very done, despite the easy day at work! I can’t believe it’s actually Thanksgiving break now… what a super weird last day of the work week. Maybe tomorrow things will feel more normal.
… our emergency vet could see us today, at 7pm, when I saw that Serval had blood in his pee.
… the wait was only about 30 minutes to be seen, and then they only had him in the back (running some test) for about 90 minutes after that. I brought my book and read almost 100 pages of it. We were home a little before 10pm.
… we have the $1,000 for the visit, tests/procedures, medication and it won’t negatively affect us ahead of the holiday season.
… that Serval is not in immediate danger, and will probably be okay.
… that we can afford the special “urinary tract health” food he’s going to need… for the rest of his life.
Nope, not a fan. Let’s go home now please.
We’ll see how thankful I am tomorrow, when I’m trying to get him to take 1.5ml of antibiotics from a syringe. 😬
*I waffled quite a bit on whether “love” or “like” was appropriate in the title. I don’t really feel like there is anything I LOVE about my home, but you know what, I’m going to go with LOVE because I am EMBRACING POSITIVITY DAMMIT! So let’s do this.
Location. I’m chuckling at starting with location because when we were first looking at houses I didn’t even know this neighborhood existed, it’s so far south. I was like, where even is that? And then I was like, Oh my god, Mission CROSSES 280?! (It actually goes all the way south to Daly City, little did I know at the time…) My point being, I used to live in a young, stylish, fun! neighborhood with good bars and restaurants and cool stuff to do. ALL the Muni trains stopped there and it was super easy to get anywhere in the city from that centralized location. Contrast that with where I live now, on the almost most southerly side of the city, where our stretch of Mission is riddled with many more closed, graffiti covered store fronts than decent restaurants (and basically no bars). Also, NO Muni trains come within 15 minutes walking of our house. But! We are two blocks from several stellar bus lines, and a 10 minutes walk from BART. Most importantly, we are far enough south that I can get home without hitting any of the city traffic, which was not-so-slowly killing my soul when I lived in the much nicer part of the city. So yes, my middle aged ass appreciates where we live very much.
The unit, aka our main bedroom suite. This house was actually about $100K out of our price range, but it had been on the market for three weeks and had an in-law unit that had just been vacated (that is actually why it was still on the market, because they were trying to sell the house WITH the tenants initially). We had been out-bid on all the other houses in our price range by $100-$150K, so we felt like we couldn’t just pass the house up, and we were assured we could just rent the in-law unit out to make up the difference until we could cover the mortgage ourselves, no problem! (rolls eyes so far back into head). And we did have a couple of hassle free tenants who did allow us to pay our mortgage no problem, until of course we didn’t. Luckily, by the time we were faced with a nightmare tenant who wouldn’t manage his things enough to make the bed bug treatments were paying for effective ::cough:: hording tendencies ::cough::, we were not only able to cover our mortgage without his $1,100 monthly rent payment, but we were able to pay him $20K to leave too! (Yes, you read that right, yes, being a landlord in SF is not for the families trying to make ends meet). We waved goodbye to said tenant in late JANUARY 2020. And we had no idea how lucky we were until a couple months later when that separated space became the only thing keeping us sane during the pandemic.
Had to go back almost TWO years to find this photo of the unit looking nice. Wow.
I still LOVE the space so much. Sure we need to walk behind our car and down an ugly hallway to get to it, but it’s 400 square feet of OUR OWN SPACE and it has a big bathroom and a little kitchen where my Peloton bike goes, and we can host small groups there without people ever seeing the rest of the house and it’s just the best thing ever and I love it so. It would have been hard to make the choice to give up a tenant’s rent, and I’m so grateful that we were forced to because the space is absolutely worth it and I will never, ever be a landlord again, if I can help it.
Space. Our house is 1600sq ft, with the in-law unit, which is plenty of space for our family of four. I know most people in the country live in much bigger houses (my parents’ house, just 30 minutes south, is twice as big I think), but this is as big a house as I can manage, and while I sometimes wish we had more and better storage space, I don’t think we need more living space.
Only had to go back a year to find photos of the upstairs looking decent. ::facepalm::This used to be our bedroom, before we moved downstairs. Our bed went up against the mantel and there was a Japanese shade where I’m standing to take the photo, separating our bedroom and the living room (pictured above).
Garage! Ten years of street parking in a popular neighborhood was honestly kind of traumatic. I spent so many minutes (hours!) looking for parking, and so much money fixing the windows when someone broke into my car. I’ve had a garage for 12 years and there is not a day I take pulling into it for granted. We don’t even have an automatic garage door opener (I have to get out and swing the door open), but I don’t care. I love having a garage, and I love having a washing machine and dryer in my garage. Both are truly the best.
A super-low, 30-year fixed mortgage rate. We bought our house in 2012. We locked in a 3.25% mortgage rate, that later we refinanced down to a 2.95% a few years later. We were very fortunate that my parents borrowed $100K against their own home to “gift” us, so we could put 20% down at signing, and we’re only 13 months away from our last payment to them for that “gift.” Our mortgage payment is very manageable and our house has supposedly more than doubled in value since we purchased it 12.5 years ago. We were VERY lucky to buy when we did. We could never afford to live in this house if we were trying to buy now.
There is PLENTY that I hate about our house. I’m sure I’ll write that post later this month, but mostly I’m just very grateful that we get to live here, and are not at the whim of a landlord who would eventually want to kick us out. There is plenty to gripe about when it comes to this house, but the good definitely outweighs the bad.
