Not a Wasted Word

I have been writing this post for THREE DAYS! How does that happen? Things are busy and, and it has honestly been a little hard to find positive things to write about, but here we are! At least I made an attempt.

AVOIDING CONSEQUENCES. I dropped one of my (relatively new) AirPods Pro into a bucket of water earlier this week, but after 24 hours of drying time it still works! I also got pulled over on Wednesday, but they let me go without a ticket. (I got pulled over for doing something dumb even though I KNEW a sheriff was in front of me! I had just gotten off the phone with my husband about the bad thing that happened Monday, so I was super distracted.) I am VERY THANKFUL for avoiding serious financial repercussions both times.

PRESENTS. I believe I’m done buying presents. I got a couple of stocking stuffers this week and I feel pretty good about where I am. I still need to wrap everything, but I always do that a couple days before Xmas. I even thought of something I actually want for my parents to get us. They will get us something regardless, so I appreciate having them get something I would have gotten anyway.

WORK: Last week was my last five day week of work in 2024. Thursday was the last horrible Thursday (and boy was it a doozy). All my 7/8th grade classes took assessments and I ALREADY SCORED THEM! The 8th grade classes actually got their group books read and are planning their movie trailers and should be able to film them next week. It’s only supposed to rain on Monday, so they should be able to be outside to film. I got all the classes to where they need to be before the break, despite losing a week between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I really appreciate when my plans at work aren’t totally thwarted.

MARRIAGE: My marriage has been a pretty lonely place to be lately. My husband is very unhappy at work, exhausted all the time, and going to bed early most nights. I feel like I have been walking around on eggshells lately, and it’s hard to give myself permission to ask for what I want and need when he’s struggling to much. But I’ve kept asking! And this past week we’ve had some talks and things seem to be getting better. Last night we actually hung out!

KIDS: The other day my husband remarked that it feels like the kids are demanding a lot more than they are giving right now and I couldn’t agree more. We took them to see Let’s Glow on Friday night and they spent most of the outing complaining for various reasons. By the end they decided they had had fun, and I’m sure their memories will reflect that, but it didn’t leave a lot of room for anyone else to have fun. And yet, watching Silo with the 14yo has been so great. And having the 11yo at sparring has been awesome too. I think at this age the highs are so high and lows can be frustratingly low. But I’m trying hard to focus on the highs.

CHECKING BOXES: Getting things done on Sunday still counts as getting them done, right? And that is what I’m doing today. I FINALLY took the three heaping bags of clothes to the Salvation Army drop off center. Tomorrow night we’re putting the fridge out for pick up on Tuesday morning. I downloaded the three receipts I need to put in my last child care reimbursement. I’m feeling pretty good about December’s goals. Which is good because…

MAKING PLANS. We just (like two hours ago), rented a cabin near the snow to take the kids for a couple days before Christmas. So now we’re leaving Saturday and getting home Christmas Eve. This may seem insane, and sometimes it feels like it’s a nuts idea, but I think it will ultimately be good. Cons: We lose days with our decorations before Xmas; I need to have all the presents wrapped before we go; the 14yo won’t go to physical therapy until the end of break, instead of the beginning of it (I’m hoping to fix that tomorrow when I call to see if anyone else is available before Jan 2nd); someone has to cover my Teens class on Saturday. Pros: I have Friday off and no one else does, so I can wrap all the presents and pack us up before we go (this is the only reason I even considered this); the final days before Christmas can be interminable and this will definitely help distract the kids; the 11yo is getting a PS5 (lord helps us all) and we’d rather he be away from home before he gets it, rather than afterward; I won’t have an opportunity to do any last minute shopping for presents I absolutely do NOT need to buy.

I really am happy we made these last minute plans. I had been wanting to go somewhere, since we had A LOT of days to burn, and we wanted to go to the snow this year, so now we’re killing two bird with one stone. We just go to play in the snow, and should be enough up there for our needs. The kids are excited by the proposition, and I think we’ll have a good time.

Full disclosure, I’m kinda struggling right now. Everything is fine, or at least it will be, but I’m in a funky headspace and I’m just trying to get through it.

Something deeply upsetting happened on Monday. The situation will eventually be resolved, and I will write about it when that happens, but the in between space between the conflict and resolution is wearing on me. I hate waiting.

The husband has been in a way lately and that puts me in a way.

The 14yo has finals and is stressed out about it. Managing her stress give me stress.

The 11yo is becoming very much a tweenager and it’s just another transition we’re all transitioning through.

A couple of my classes are DRIVING ME CRAZY. I hate that I still can’t approach some groups for students with equanimity.

I’m tired of feeling like shit when I run. I want running to feel good again and I have no idea why I’ve been in such a rut for so long.

I’m hitting a plateau at the dojo. It was bound to happen, and I know I’ll eventually push through it, but man I’m not looking forward to feeling like I’m not progressing. I hope it doesn’t last too long.

I’m spending too much money. This is always the case before Christmas, but I’m still disappointed in myself about it.

The winter break is looming. On the one hand I can’t wait to get away from my classroom (even though I just got away from it for a week!) and one the other hand 16 days is a looooong time to spend with my kids! I love them, but they can be a lot!

There are plenty of bright spots right now, and I am focusing on them, but right now I just need to vent about the grimy splotches that are making it hard to see the bright spots.

Wow. I thought I posted this HOURS ago. Boo. Better late than never I suppose.

This weekend was… a lot. Saturday was a lot of fun, and Sunday was a lot of obligation. Together they were a lot.

Saturday

My husband and I talked presents when we woke up. This took longer than expected, but I think we covered everything and feel confident that we’re done buying presents this year.

The 11yo came with me to the dojo, attended the Teens class I was teaching (I had no idea what I was doing 10 mins before we started and the class still ended up okay! It’s getting easier!) Then the 11yo went to sparring with me! The teen class ends 15 minutes after Sparring begins, so we were only sparring for 30 minutes, but he was clearly wiped afterward. He did a great job, and had a lot of fun, and I’m really hoping that sparring helps renew his love of martial arts and his desire to be at the dojo.

My husband picked him up from the dojo and I stayed for Forms and High Belt. Two red belts were in town and every other red belt was in class to see them so both classes were really fun. I’ve never seen so many red belts on the mat before.

I got home at 3:30pm, took a shower, then took the 11yo and his friend to play mini-golf at Stagecoach Greens. It was fun, and it killed some time, which was the whole reason we went.

After dropping the friend off, I grabbed hummus to bring to the dojo holiday party, then went home and got ready. The party was a lot of fun. I really appreciate the dojo community, and love the opportunity to get to know people better. It was a really fun night.

Sunday

I had big plans to run early on Sunday, but the air quality index was super high! We rarely have air quality in the absence of a fire, but I guess there hasn’t been much windy? I’m not quite sure what was happening. Needless to say I did not go run, but instead did several loads of laundry (I was so busy on Saturday I didn’t do any!) and other chores around the house. I pulled some of the kids’ clothes that they don’t wear anymore and put them in a bag to donate. I helped the 14yo get started on an essay, and then made sure she started writing it. I basically just did stuff around the house all morning.

At 3pm the air quality was a lot better, so I took the kids to the Great Highway, where I ran and they rode their bikes. My run felt awful, just like every other run of late, which was disappointing, but I had save the most recent If Books Could Kill episode to listen while I ran, and that was nice. At home I did the Caroline Gervis Dead Bug video, then showered. I made two boxes of pancakes for the 11yos lunches, then we all watched an episode of Parks & Rec.

Right now I’m trying to get this post written before I make a worksheet for a speaking activity that I hope to do tomorrow. I need to schedule the fridge pick up because that is the spot in the hallway where I usually hid the Christmas presents and I need the space. Last week felt long and I think this week will feel longer. I’m just keeping my eye on the prize… December 20th, the first day of my break.

Workouts

M: Taught Forms + Basics

Tu: Sparring concepts + Sparring

W: 10 min Core w/ Tunde (11/3/24) + 10 min Glutes & Legs w/ Jess Sims (11/6/24) + 10 min Arms & Shoulders w/ Rebecca Kennedy11

Th: Rest

F: 45 min Bootcamp 50/50 w/ Tunder (11/21/24) – this was brutal!

Sa: Sparring + Forms + High Belt

Su: 4 mile run + CG’s Dead Bug workout (Another rough run. When will it feel good to run again?!)

I’ve been thinking of San today! I can’t wait to hear how she crushed her first marathon!

I know I already did a weekend recap in yesterday’s post, but I wanted to add a few thoughts about this past weekend. First of all, hosting is exhausting. It’s just not my jam. I love seeing people but I’m also so stressed out when I’m tasked with making sure there is sufficient food and drink for those people. The days leading up to hosting are all about picking up then cleaning. Then I agonize over what to serve and what to have on hand. I’m sure it’s a muscle I could exercise by hosting more, and then it would all feel easier, but honestly I’m not interested. My husband frequently has to step up and help me, which I appreciate immensely.

Anyway, just some thoughts on hosting, which I did BOTH Saturday night and Sunday afternoon last weekend. I don’t think I’ve ever hosted twice in 24 hours before. In my life.

I also was reminded that contrary to what one might assume, I find it harder to work out (or work out in the ways I want to) during my weeks off. For years I figured that if I had more time it would be easier to workout. But that is not the case during breaks, for a couple of reasons: 1) When I don’t have much time to workout, I identify the time I do have and make it happen during that one opening. When I have many possible opportunities to work out, it’s easier to keep pushing it until it can’t happen anymore. 2) I actually don’t have all that much time to myself during a break. My kids are around and they still have needs. Sometimes we are hosting their friends and I have to make be available for random requests. We go places or meet up with family or hang out with friends. When my husband and kids are around it’s harder for me to carve out the time I need to get in the workout I want. It’s just harder than I expect, always. So much so that I’m not really surprised by it anymore.

So if this week feels a little light, workout wise, that is why.

M: Rest (rainy pj day! I reveled in not working out)

Tu: Sparring concepts + sparring

W: Forms at the dojo with my friend, then 45 min Bike Bootcamp w/ Jess Sims

Th: Rest (did not even attempt to work out on Thanksgiving Day)

F: 5 mile run at my favorite park + some standing ab exercises at the end

Sa: 30 min Intervals & Arms w/ Tunde + 10 minute stability ball ab workout

Su: 45 mins on elliptical (so I could write yesterday’s post)

Do you like hosting? Does it fill your cup or spill it on the floor? Do you find it easier to work out when you have tighter schedule, or a more relaxed schedule?

Well Thanksgiving break is over, November is over, and NaBloPoMo is over. Let’s see how it all went!

NaBloPoMo Final Thoughts

I just went back and looked at all the posts I published this month. I can’t believe election day was not even a full month away! Many of them were phoned in (literally, written on my phone), but a couple were worthwhile. As is always the case, I did not comment nearly enough, even though I read so, so many posts. I found a couple of new people, but haven’t added them to my Feedly yet (a list is sitting in a draft email somewhere). I really love NaBloPoMo and was so thankful for the camaraderie and support after the election and in the weeks that followed. I was so impressed that everyone posted daily. It was hard on some days! Really hard! A MASSIVE THANK YOU to everyone who read and commented here. It was, as always, a very gratifying experience.

Thanksgiving Break Recap

This ended up being a fairly nice break.

• Monday was soooo lovely. I stayed home, did nothing but some work on the calendars, and ended the night binge watching the last episodes of Sunny (AppleTV+) while everyone else was out.
• Tuesday was meh. I got the calendars ordered, but sparring was shitty.
• Wednesday was a very nice day too. I got work done at D&Bs while my son and his friend played, I walked to the Mission, got my very favorite dish (ever!) from Mission Chinese and spent some time at the dojo with my bestie.
• Thursday was… intense. I got the stuffing made without issue, but actual Thanksgiving was kind of stressful (for reasons I don’t feel comfortable writing about here because close family friends were involved). I had hoped my husband and I would hang out that evening, but he went to bed almost as soon as we got home.
• Friday was surprisingly delightful. We went to Hallyu: The Korean Wave exhibit at the Asia Art Museum, and then to the downtown IKEA. I had loose plans to take the kids to Moana 2 that evening, but I had heard nothing but lukewarm things about it, so instead we watched Deadpool & Wolverine. It was then11yo’s first R-rated movie, and he was honestly kind of nervous to try it but he loved it. The 14yo did to (it’s her fifth R-rated movie, she informed us multiple times). My husband and I already saw it and loved it, so it was super fun to watch it with them. We all read a lot of Marvel comics so many of the inside jokes were appreciated by them. It was a blast.
• Saturday was stressful. We spend the morning at my in-laws doing our traditional post-Thanksgiving breakfast with them. The food was amazing (chilequiles for breakfast and homemade pesto pizza for lunch), but the 11yo started melting down in between those meals, so he and I had to go for a walk and hit up Whole Foods for the ingredients I needed for my book club lunch on Sunday. That afternoon we went to the Chase Center for the Warrior’s tree lightening, but we could only stay for about an hour because my parents picked up the kids at 5:30 for a sleep-over. Saturday night my friends and I went axe throwing, which was fun, then went back to my house to hang out. I hadn’t planned to invite them over, but my parents took the kids, so no one was home and the house was cleaned up for book club on Sunday, so I said we could be at my house. My husband made us cocktails and it was a nice time.
• Sunday was fine. I woke up later than I wanted, but the house and meal (Coconut Curry Chickpeas With Pumpkin and Lime) were ready on time. Two people cancelled last minute, but three people did come. They liked the food (I don’t cook often so I was nervous it wouldn’t turn out well) and we had a great discussion about the Book (Stay True, by Hua Hsu). My husband and I took a walk into the Mission after, and we talked for what felt like the first time all break. He had been really distant, and he explained why and I was glad we were finally connecting. Not being sure what was wrong made the last three days of the break very long. My parents brought the kids home around 5pm, and we’ve been doing dinner, school lunch prep, and showers since then.

All n all, it was a nice break. I know Friday I posted an “end of break blues” post, but honestly, by Saturday afternoon I was so over being with my bickering kids that I was looking forward to going to work on Monday. It’s now Sunday night and one kid is having a fit because it’s too late to watch a movie, even though we told him multiple times if he took too long eating dinner it would be too late to watch a movie. Yep! Ready to get away from everyone tomorrow.

November Must-dos and Hope-tos check-in

I posted my November Must-dos and Hope-tos as my very first NaBloPoMo post, so it seems fitting to review them here (I should have reviewed them yesterday, but as I mentioned, this weekend was CRAZY!)

Make calendars (CHECK!)

Tasks: Text SIL to get her photos, Move photos on phone to folder, Upload photos, Choose template, Make calendar for fam, Make calendar for ILs, Final check and order calendars.

I put the first three tasks on my to-do list the first two weeks of November and actually got them done then. I even chose a template the week before the break. That is how I was able to have the calendars ordered on Tuesday. It was really nice.

Put up tree (CHECK!)

Tasks: Get tree from shed, Put together tree, Get down Xmas box, Put up lights + star, Decorate with kids, Reorganize Xmas box

I did all of these by Monday, except reorganizing the Xmas box. It is a disaster area and will probably remain one until I repack it at the end of December.

Clean up downstairs (FAIL!)

Tasks: Straighten up kitchen, Wipe counters/mop kitchen, Straighten room, Vacuum/mop floor, Straighten bathroom, Wipe counters/mop floor, Clean shower

I did none of this. On Thanksgiving, when my parents offered to take the kids on Friday or Saturday night and I realized if they took them Saturday, I could host upstairs, which was in good shape, I immediately let cleaning up the downstairs fall from my to-do list. I picked it up a couple times, but it kept getting messy again. I was going to clean the shower today, but the long walk with my husband made that impossible. Hopefully I’ll get the bathroom cleaned next weekend, but honestly I do so much Xmas prep down there in December, I doubt it will ever look or feel clean in the next three weeks. This will now be a December Must-do, because I cannot let it fester for a whole other month.

1A free reading program launch (Check!)

Tasks: Library inventory, Library barcodes print, Library barcode stickers, List page finalized, Boards copied, Patron QR codes printed, Slide deck updated

I actually had this done pretty early, which was good because I had to do all of this for the 1B class too. And I’m almost done, I just need to copy the boards.

Sister in town (CHECK!)

I saw her six times! Twice with the kids, twice with our parents, once with my husband and one alone. We had some good convos and I felt like we saw each other plenty.

***Get advent calendars for kids (CHECK!)

I did not have this on the list but it should have been, and I did do it.

Hope-tos

• Clean out bench (to store Xmas presents) (CHECK!)
• Learn 2/3 of form (martial arts) (Kind of check?) I learned probably closer to half but I know that part pretty well.
• Donate clothes (Kind of check. I took one bag to the 11yo’s school but haven’t taken the other two bags to the Salvation Army drop off).
• Get rid of fridge (FAIL! I didn’t even attempt this. Boo.)
• Tri2 pacing guide doc (FAIL!) I actually need to plan out the next 2.5 weeks of work, and badly.
• 1B library ready (CHECK! I thought this was a hope-to but it was a must-do (if I wanted to not get behind this month).

I need to do some work planning and some life planning for December. I feel like I’m starting the month behind. I’ll try to post my December Must-dos and Hope-tos soon. Maybe tomorrow?

{Sometimes I wonder if I should split posts like this up and publish them separately. What are you thoughts? Do you prefer sparser, longer posts, or more frequent, shorter posts?}

It’s 11:23pm and I haven’t written my finally post! But my friends are still here and I can’t write now so I’ll put this up and then write a proper post tomorrow.

I did go axe throwing today!

I started strong (my axe hit on the fist try). But I lost in the end. By a lot.

It’s only Friday night, but I’m having seriously end of break blues. I’m not sure quite why. Maybe it’s because the next two days are really busy and will feel hectic. Maybe it’s because I’m realizing that I won’t have completed some big tasks on my to-do list. Maybe it’s because I’m hosting book club on Sunday and hosting is just not my jam.

But I did order some more sweatshirt dresses from H&M today, because sweatshirt dresses are my jam. It’s nice to have something to look forward to after we go back to school.

I hope to write more about the randomness that was my Black Friday purchases (which were made all week, and not really today), but like I said, the next two days will be busy.

I guess I’m ending NaBloPoMo with a whimper, and not a bang.

I ran this morning. And even though I felt like shit (again!), the weather and views were BEAUTIFUL.