Not a Wasted Word

Five on Friday: End of Break Updates

Posted on January 2, 2026 by noemikjames / 8 Comments

Happy New Year! We got back from Death Valley on New Year’s Eve, around 7pm. We immediately unpacked the van, putting everything in our downstairs unit. We pulled out of the camp ground relatively early that morning, so our packing job was haphazard. I spent much of that evening really unpacking, and even did a load of laundry. The 15yo went to a friends’ house for New Year’s Eve but came home after midnight. The husband was zonked (even though I drove the whole way home), so he went to bed early and I waited up for the 15yo alone, with a couple cocktails, some furikake popcorn and a Spanish language show I’ve been wanting to start on Netflix. Luckily it was raining, so there weren’t too many neighborhood fireworks going off to freak out the cats.

On New Year’s Day we had to take the van back in the morning. It’s a 40 minute drive one way, and both of us need to go, so it was a time suck. Then we spent the early afternoon with the in-laws, who got back from their six weeks in Texas on the day we drove to Death Valley. The kids opened their Christmas presents from their grandparents, we ate yummy chilequiles, then played a bunch of games (Tenzi is surprisingly super fun! I will definitely be getting it for my mom for her birthday). Later that evening we watched some more Stranger Things. We’re only on season 4 and each episode is almost 80 minutes! So it’s slow going…

So where does that leave me on Friday, January 2nd, with less than three days left of the break?

Packing away Christmas

Christmas is usually solidly in my rear view mirror by the new year, but I had enough going on the 26th and 27th that I didn’t think I could get it all done, so I just shelved it until after our trip. Yesterday I packed away all the ornaments and took the lights off the tree. I shoved the new mantel garland back into its box and packed away the Christmas clothes. Today I jostled the tree back into its bag and dragged it out to the shed. I need to wash one more Christmas sweater and then I can close the Christmas clothes box and put it in the shed. I have the giant Christmas decorations box mostly packed up, but I’m leaving it out today so that random things I’ve forgotten around the house can make their way inside before I hoist it into the storage space over the trash cans in the garage. Basically I’ve done the most arduous tasks, but sometimes the final push can be really tedious.

UPDATE: Everything has been packed up and all the boxes are in their proper places!

Around the house

I have a couple projects for the next few days. Today I will hang 4-5 shelves in the 12yo’s room so he can display some of his Christmas presents and organize other stuff cluttering his desk and chest of drawers. I have big plans to clear the floors upstairs today so I can vacuum and steam clean them tomorrow morning. This will be a hug task and I really hope I get it done. You may remember I was supposed to clean the floors over the Thanksgiving break, but then the cat was throwing up everywhere so I didn’t. I am highly motivated to get this done before I head back to work, and I really don’t want it to bleed into date night on Saturday.

UPDATE:

I got five floating shelves up in the 12yo’s room! Woot!

UPDATE: I steam cleaned my floors today! It took FOUR HOURS and I finished right as my parents picked up the kids. I am so happy that I got it done!

On the blog

I’m writing this post! My Death Valley recap is about half done (maybe 2/3rds?) I hope to write a 2025 recap, because I like reading those later and I think it’s a valuable exercise to reflect on the year. I also have goals to write out for 2026, per Best Laid Plans, and some seasonal and monthly planning?! This actually feels really overwhelming for me right now, but I’m reminding myself that I can start small and don’t need to go overboard. I don’t usually write out new year’s resolutions, so I want my goals to be very concrete. I have been thinking about them abstractly for over a week now, and I hope that some convos with the husband this weekend will help solidify a few things for me/us too.

UPDATE: I got my Death Valley post up!

Work reentry

I have not thought about work for almost two weeks and it’s been marvelous. We have a professional development day on Monday, which means I will have time (during boring meetings) to get some planning done then (I love this!) so all I need to do before Monday is look at my 1B student reflections and score some late work in the 1A classes. This isn’t a horrible amount of work, but I don’t have a lot of time to get it done before Monday. This is because…

Anniversary date night

Our anniversary is on the 4th and the kids are spending Saturday day and night at my parents’ house so we can spend some time together just the two of us. I am really looking forward to this, and I don’t want any lingering obligations to mess with this time. My parents will probably bring the kids back relatively early on Sunday, because it’s their last day of break too and we want them to have some time to mentally prepare for the transition back to school (this will be especially hard for the 12yo, because he really dislikes school right now). So there will be time to get some stuff done on Sunday afternoon/evening. I also know how quickly that kind of time slips through my fingers, so I need to be intentional about what I leave for those hours.

Without further ado, I need to get started on some of these projects. It’s already 12:07 (how!?) and I also need to workout today (and Saturday, and Sunday!) so I need to start hanging some shelves!

Life/Parenting & Family/Photography

Christmas 2025

Posted on December 28, 2025 by noemikjames / 7 Comments

We had a lovely Christmas this year. Here is a quick recap.

Christmas Eve

On Tuesday I took the 12yo and his friend to a trampoline park to jump off the pre-Christmas jitters. The 15yo had two friends come over, and one of them spent the night. The husband had been stuck working from home on Monday and Tuesday because City Hall still didn’t have power from the outage that started on Saturday, but on Christmas Eve he went to work. I spend the morning wrapping some last minute things and packing everything (or so I thought) into the car.

The 15yo’s friend left around 11:30. The husband got off earlier than expected, but the weather had cleared and I suggested he take advantage of the extra time and unexpected sun to walk home. Meanwhile I did a Sim 60 Bike Boor Camp and then took a shower.

We decided to take advantage of the break in weather to walk the two blocks of crazy lights near my parents’ house. We got there before it got dark, but by the time we left everything was on. It starting pouring right as we pulled out of our parking space so we couldn’t have timed it better.

My mom likes this one because of poinsettias.

Same house but you can see the lights better.

I feel like none of these photos do these houses justice.

These photos are from the night before, when I drove the 12yo and his friend through after the trampoline park.

Back at the their house we ate pozole (a Christmas Eve tradition started by our friend that passed away this year) and the kids each opened a present. I choose them (I think this is not how we usually do it?) and made sure the 15yo opened the pair of Twilight 20th Anniversary Crocs I snagged by watching the site for over a month waiting for them to be back in stock and the 12yo opened the Stranger Things demagorgon control holder that he loves and that is absolutely hideous.

I cannot believe that statue will be on top of my TV stand forever more.

We ended our time at my parents’ house with a game of Super Scrabble, in which my husband destroyed everyone else by 100 points.

At home we watched the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which we always watch on Christmas Eve. It’s the only Christmas movie we reliably watch every year.

Christmas Day

We got a late start to Christmas Day because everyone slept in until almost 10am! I do not miss little kids waking me up super early on Christmas Day!

Usually we spend Christmas morning with the in-laws, but they are still in Texas so we went straight to my parents’ house around 11:30am.

We opened presents for a while. As is always the case, I wanted everyone to take turns so I didn’t miss anyone’s reactions, and yet everyone was opening presents at the same time.

I forgot two of the 12yo’s presents at home. I felt so bad! One was a few pairs of Nike Tech pants, that he ended up not even liking. They were his biggest present (they are expensive!) so I felt bad that he didn’t want them. Thank goodness I also got him so Underarmor fleece pants at the outlets last month!

We surprised the 15yo with a giant Batman The Animated Series LEGO set she really wanted. It was super expensive so both grandparents helped us get her that. She was so excited to get it that she actually cried. It was pretty fun to see.

I used to LOVE this show, and every bag has a recommended episode to watch while building it, which definitely helped me to commit to getting it for her.

After lunch we watched A Muppet Christmas Carol, which was a lot of fun. We are a big Muppets family – The Great Muppet Caper is maybe our favorite family movie – and while we’ve seen this one before, it’s been a while. After the movie we packed up the car and headed home. We all kind of did our own things that evening. I spent most of that time packing for our Death Valley trip…

Boxing Day

I honestly thought about taking the tree down the day after Christmas, but I had so much to get done before our trip that I didn’t attempt it. Also, the husband and I were going to see a movie at 5:20, so there wasn’t as much time on Friday as I would have liked.

The day after Christmas is always pretty low key at our house. I braved Costco to take back a (broken) present and stock up on some stuff we needed (I refused to go the week before Christmas). The husband and I did some food planning, and we made a list for what he needed to get the next day. The 12yo had a friend come over to spend the night and the 15yo built some of her giant LEGO set (and watched a couple episodes). She and I also put up two of the floating shelves she got for Christmas, so she could clear off her desk enough to put the big LEGO set while she was building it. We also finally put some art work in frames and hung them. They’ve only been sitting around the house since April… Sigh. I really love her wall now, and I’m so glad we got all that done.

Yes, she still has a lot of work to do on her “art desk”…

I barely got a workout in before and husband and I headed to the movie. We saw Resurrection at the Roxie. It is… something! I have never seen a movie like it, and that is saying something because my husband insists we watch a lot of really strange movies. It was definitely visually stunning, and I’m glad we got to see it on the big screen. The fact that we can see a movie while the 12yo has a friend over (the 15yo “babysat” for us) was pretty cool too!

Saturday and Sunday…

Saturday the husband and I picked up the camper van! And the kids and I saw Cirque du Soleil’s ECHO with my parents (that was their big Christmas present). Picking up the van took a lot longer than expected and we were almost late to ECHO, but it all worked out. ECHO was amazing! The kids and my parents really loved it and I’m so glad we went.

I actually thought we couldn’t take photos so I didn’t get many of the show. It was really nice to not have my phone out, actually…

The 15yo LOVED the clowns. She was looking up clown schools in San Francisco during the intermission.

A GIANT puppet! There were people inside it too!

Sunday we are packing up the camper van and heading to Death Valley! I am so stressed out that it’s going to be stolen from in front of our house (where I was so relieved we were able to park it), I hope I can get some sleep tonight. I’m the only one who can drive the van, and it’s over nine hours to get to Death Valley so I better head to bed. Sorry it took me so long to post. I hope I can get a recap of our trip up pretty quickly after we get home!

Health & Well Being/Life

Stressful stuff, annoyances, and happy things

Posted on December 22, 2025 by noemikjames / 5 Comments

Stressful stuff

Serval’s urine analysis showed a lot of sugar, so I had to bring him in today to get his blood drawn. His blood work was not conclusive – the number was in a grey area that did not indicate feline diabetes, but also did not discount it – so they had to do another urine analysis. In the end it turns out he DOES NOT have feline diabetes, which makes a second almost $500 vet bill a lot easier to swallow. (This has been almost $2K worth of vet bills in the last month, all for Serval, for those counting.)

The bearded dragon is eating sand, which is not good. He’s very old, and this could just be the beginning of the end, but the 15yo doesn’t want to consider that so we’re getting him calcium and vitamin D supplements and some weird food jelly to put the calcium and vitamin D supplements on. I’m really not ready to deal with the imminent decline of the bearded dragon’s health, but that is probably what’s coming.

The 15yo is getting bit again. She thinks they are mosquito bites, but man do they swell up in ways I have never seen mosquito bites swell up. She has several on her face and arms, a few on her legs. After our tenant with bed bugs fiasco, I get VERY stressed by unidentifiable bug bites so I’m not handling it well. I wish I just knew why this happens periodically, why only the 15yo gets these bites, why she gets so many of them for a short period of time and then they stop, and what we could do to prevent them in the future. I ordered mosquito repellent packs for indoor/outdoor use but the smell was so overwhelming that we couldn’t keep even on pouch in her bedroom. I handled them several hours ago and it still tastes like there is cintronella in my mouth. Blech!

Annoyances

I have been using Acure’s Morrocan Argan Oil on my face for YEARS – maybe a decade?! – so when I went looking to buy some more and found they had revamped it from a pump bottle to a smaller bottle with a dropper, I kind of freaked out. Is it the same formula just made to look fancier?! If they made even minute changes to the formula my skin could absolutely revolt and flare up into a red, welty mess. My chin has been covered in a rash for over a month and no amount of trying to soothe that area has helped calm the flare, so the thought of putting something unknown on my skin right now has sent me spiraling. When I saw they had changed it (the name has changed too, Moroccan is no longer in the title), I found a site that was selling what looked like the old bottle for a decent price and I bought four of them, which calmed my panic, but they came today and they are the new bottles and I am so bummed out. I really hope this is a “same formula, new look!” situation or I am going to truly lose it.

The milk frother was low on batteries so I changed them and it… never turned on again. Why?! It was working fine! All I did was change the batteries! That kind of thing drives me crazy. We actually use our milk frother whisker thing a lot to mix milk, especially recently because the kids have been enjoying the left over chocolate milks from the mini Grinch tins we got for their teachers. I am so annoyed that the old one stopped working for no reason at all. So, so annoyed.

Parts of San Francisco have been dealing with a major power outage (out house was never affected) since Satruday. At its height, 140,000 costumers were without power. Then it was 60,000. Now, fully three days later, there are still parts of the city without power, and one of those parts is City Hall, where my husband works. That means he was working from home today and will be working from home again tomorrow (Tuesday). I do not like when he’s working from home and I’m around on break, because it affects when and how I can be down in our unit. Today I was out running errands most of the day, but tomorrow it’s going to be way more annoying.

Happy Things

Serval does no have feline diabetes! Woot!

I took both kids to get their flu and Covid shots today and there was no wait and they both were allowed to get both shots and I’m so glad we got that over with. A bunch of people at the dojo just had a three week “super flu” and my good friend and her daughter just had a nasty bout of Covid and I really don’t want either coming into our house. I know the vaccines don’t keep us totally protected, but I also know that they help! And it feels like this winter we can use all the help we can get.

This morning I ran errands and I was able to get what I wanted at Noahs (they have a bakers dozen for $11 on Mondays that I can never get when I’m working), what I needed from PetCo, and a bunch of shit food on DEEP discount at Safeway for the kids over break. I spent $50 and saved $55 at Safeway! I don’t know if I’ve ever saved more there than I spent there so it felt like a real win (they had buy two get THREE free of the 15yo’s favorite chips, which were not at Grocery Outlet yesterday).

The husband and I went to the Alamo Drafthouse yesterday to see The Secret Agent. We got dinner and drinks while we watched and it was a lot of fun. I am trying hard to make sure we get some time together without the kids leading up to Christmas, because once Christmas hits, we’re all going to be together A LOT!

In that same vein, I want to make sure the kids have some friend time before Thursday. Tomorrow I’m taking the 12yo and his friend to the trampoline park where he had his birthday so they can burn off some of this rainy weather energy. At the same time, the 15yo will be hosting her two besties at our house. I’m so glad it worked for both of them to see friends right before Christmas. I know it will help them navigate all the intense family time during the holiday and our trip to Death Valley after.

I started cleaning up the 12yo’s room today, and got quite a few books and other stuff in donation bags. I also filled a trash bag. We have a lot more work to do, but it feels really good to start.

I’m about to be done on the elliptical, then I’m making French toast for dinner and we’re all watching Fantastic Four First Steps together. So far it’s been a pretty decent winter break, despite some of the most stressful stuff. I hope that continues to be the case.

I periodically remember that I already wrapped everything and I try hard to stop and bask in the relief that washes over me each time. It’s wonderful every time I remember it again.

Photography

Five on Friday in Pictures

Posted on December 19, 2025 by noemikjames / 5 Comments

Third time running at my favorite reservoir in two weeks. I’m just really digging it right now. This was maybe the last sunny afternoon we’ll have for a while.

Serval was back at the vet again this morning, because he had blood in his urine again. He’s been eating the prescription food for almost a month and his urinary issues are supposed to be resolved so seeing the pink pee yesterday was a major bummer. They checked him and he doesn’t have crystals in his bladder anymore but it is inflamed and they aren’t sure why. They’re hoping the urine analysis will tell us more.

A student gave me this tiny Hydroflask bottle and I must say I’m flummoxed. What is one supposed to drink out of a bottle that size? It’s 200mL, that isn’t even a full cup?! Why does this bottle exist? I am really just very confused.

I went to change my Silicone wedding ring and I tried on my actually wedding ring and it fit! I haven’t worn it in years because for a while it was too big, but now my knobby knuckle seems prepared to keep it in place. I forgot how beautiful my ring is! I love it and I’m excited to wear it again. The husband and I realized that this January will be 20 years since we started dating, and it feels fitting that I’m wearing the ring we had made for us again.

Today I was home alone (both kids still had school) and I decided to take advantage of that space to wrap all the presents. It took WAY longer than I expected and I didn’t get nearly as much other stuff done as I was hoping to, but I did get EVERYTHING wrapped, and I’m happy for that. It’s definitely a weight off my shoulders to have the wrapping done.

Work/Teaching

Mid-week mumbling

Posted on December 18, 2025 by noemikjames / 7 Comments

I am truly crawling my way to the finish line this week. I’m just so over everything.

It’s raining this morning, and my first class of the day was supposed to be outside for the whole 75 minute block period to film their movie trailers. Uuuuugh.

It’s supposed to rain most of next week actually. This will make entertaining the kids without screens a lot harder.

I really love Christmas and usually go all out for this holiday, but this year I have not done that. The kids never decorated their personal trees, and I never decorated the mini-tree. I didn’t decorate the cardboard covered door by the Christmas tree. I would say about half of the giant Christmas decoration box is still sitting there, untouched. At this point it’s too late for me to motivate, because all I can think of is putting it all away again at the end of the month.

I’ve also only done the bare minimum with our Elf on the Shelf. It might be that I have older kids, but the 15yo is a self-described “Christmas Creature” and she’s always enthusiastic about Christmas magic. I just can’t rally around it this year.

I have been wearing all my Christmas clothes, especially to work. So I’m not being a total Grinch… in fact, today I’m dressed in a Grinch onesie. Ha!

SHU’s book came and I’m so excited to read it over the break. I am really good at planning at work, and my weekly workouts. I’m less good at planning most other things, and I especially need help with long term personal planning. There is definitely a lot in there for me to learn.

Wednesday I went to the dojo and my friend was teaching the class so I led warm ups and then helped teach. A higher belt came for the second class and we reviewed some of our red belt techniques and learned part of our new stick form. I was having a hard time motivating, but my kids were making me crazy at home and that have me the push I needed. I’m really glad I went.

Today is the last sunny day before the projected week of rain, and I have a minimum day so I plan to run after work. It’s been really nice to get so much running in these past few weeks.

I will admit that I started this post yesterday and I was in a foul mood. Today, with only thirty minutes sitting between me and my winter break, I’m feeling better. Sometimes I forget how hard December is at work. Being a teacher right before the holidays is not fun!

I guess I’ll just put this up, because it’s all over the place and could go on forever. Sorry for the rambling post.

Health & Well Being/Life/Marriage/Photography/Work/Teaching

Wins this week

Posted on December 13, 2025 by noemikjames / 4 Comments

It’s been a hard week, but there have definitely been some wins.

MONDAY. I brought running clothes to school, changed into them super fast, got out of the school parking lot before the traffic was bad, and got in a four mile run before the sun went done and the temperature dropped. I felt pretty good! Then I did the CG Dead Bug workout and actually felt strong during it. Even at the end I felt capable, and that is usually not the case.

TUESDAY. I made it to the informational meeting at the 12yo’s school, both kids made their own dinners and the 12yo fed the cats. I went to the dojo for grappling, even though I really just wanted to stay home, and then grappling was canceled, so I got to go home without worrying I missed anything! Do I wish I had known it was cancelled and saved myself two bus rides? Definitely. But I’m still proud of myself that I went and I’m proud of the kids that they managed everything at home. Finally, I’m proud of myself for ditching my workout for the night and going to bed early. I listened to my energy levels and honored where I was at.

WEDNESDAY. We got out of our staff meeting early, and I ran to the city Costco to see if they had anything fun before Xmas. I found a few things I haven’t seen at the other two Costcos. I got all the 8th grade tests graded.

THURSDAY. I FINALLY returned all the clothes that were accumulating in my trunk. There were a couple things from a few different orders and it was hard to organize it, but I finally got it done! I also returned the Nike pants I got the 12yo over a month ago, that I couldn’t return until a previous return was processed (long, dumb story). Also, my plan to take the 12yo to KFC during the hour between when we had to drop the 15yo at school before her concert and when the concert worked out perfectly. We literally walked into the auditorium five minutes before the concert started.

FRIDAY. We had another water main issue, but this time they knew it time to order port-a-potties. But! We still had an unplanned minimum day on Friday, which was very much appreciated. I took advantage of the two extra afternoon hours to go on another run! I ran five miles this time and felt great again. It’s been so nice to go on runs that feel good. Back at home I did the CG dead bug workout again. It’s hard to motivate to do that workout after I’ve been in the car for 30 minutes driving home, so I’m always proud when I manage it. Also, my audiobook ended exactly when my run ended, and then my podcast ended exactly when the CG dead bug workout ended.

Soooo many wild turkeys on the path where I run!

*I almost ran into a full grown deer earlier in my run, it did absolutely nothing to get out of my way. This guy was also unfazed by my presence.*

*This is truly one of my favorite places on in the world.*

SATURDAY. I got the 12yo into Rec and Park swim! His friend had to change days, which is a big bummer, but hopefully he will make a friend or two there and enjoy it. (Right now he is not enthusiastic about trying swim team, at all.) I was really nervous we wouldn’t get him into swim, but I was there right when registration opened and snagged him a spot. Then I taught my class at the dojo. It wasn’t great, but I got it done! There were plenty of red belts at the adult test so I didn’t have to stay for that. Instead I went home and did a killer 45 minute strength class and was done right when the husband’s flight landed. The husband is now home! He’ll be pretty out of pocket dealing with jet lag for the rest of the weekend, but I’m looking forward to his help this coming week.

Health & Well Being/Life/Parenting & Family/Work/Teaching

The stuff that is NOT HELPING

Posted on December 11, 2025 by noemikjames / 2 Comments

I was right. I totally ran out of steam and this morning was a shit show. It started last night when I remembered at 11pm that I still hadn’t put wiper fluid in the car, even though I had been struggling to see every morning this week on the way to work. So I did that super late and it was annoying and I wasn’t asleep until way later than I meant to.

Then I got up five minutes later than usual this morning. And I left 10 minutes later than usual. And I got to school 15 minutes later than usual (there was an accident on my way to work). You may remember than Thursdays are my least favorite day because I teach four 85-minute classes and have no prep time. Tonight is the 15yo’s Winter Concert which means we’ll be home really late.

I am officially over this week.

Some other stuff that is not helping…

I have two deep breaks in my skin, on my thumb and pointer finger than will NOT HEAL. I get these all the time because I cut my nails too short to keep from biting them, but usually they will heal if I keep them covered for a couple days. It’s been weeks and they are deeper and more painful than ever, despite constant attention from me. I’m sure it’s because my hands are so dry, but seriously, they are making me crazy. Keeping band-aids on the tips of your fingers is basically impossible, and with a band-aid on my thumb I can’t unlock my computer with my finger print. Blerg, I’m so over it.

Speaking of dry hands, they are dry because the heat is always blasting because it’s been cold here! I know it’s never really cold in San Francisco, but we’re a few weeks into a record breaking cold snap here in the Bay Area and it’s wearing on me. Our house is not well insulated, and my bedroom especially is always so cold. I’m sleeping in a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks, under several blankets and it’s still so chilly. It’s exhausting to feel so cold all the time, and it makes it really hard to do thinks like workout.

All the 7th and 8th grade classes are taking assessments this week. Which means I have to score said assessments. This is an unavoidable part of my job, I just wish it weren’t the same week that everything else feels crazy.

A bunch of kids will be out all of next week, which means I need to give them the work they will be missing. At this point I have it all copied so it’s not as bad, but getting to the point where I had it all ready was stressful and again, I just wish everything weren’t happening this week.

Speaking of kids that are out, I have several chronically absent students this year and it’s a massive energy and time suck managing their work make up. Many of them are having mental health struggles, so the timeline for making up work is uncertain.

Tonight is the 15yo’s Winter Concert. She’s had rehearsal until late every evening this week. Today she will come home after school, get changed, and then we’ll bring her back to school at 5:45 (let’s hope we don’t lock ourselves out of the house first!*), which means the 12yo and I will have over an hour to kill before the concert starts (it’s a 25 minute drive at that time of day, so it doesn’t make sense to go back home). I think there is a KFC over there so we can grab food and then head to the auditorium, which shouldn’t be too bad, but I know the 12yo will have shit to say about all of it.

Feeding the cats continues to be an exercise in frustration. Serval needs to eat special prescription food to dissolve the crystals in his urinary tract. Panther takes forever to finish her food. We always try to keep Serval from Panther’s food (because… feline obesity), but it feels especially important now. We switched Panther’s food to a brand that supports Urinary Care (but is not prescription) so it’s fine if Serval eats some of it, but again, feline obesity… so we have to watch them, or lock Serval out of the space where Panther is eating until she finishes. She generally eats some, leaves it for a while, then wants to go back and eat again later, which means the whole “cats are eating” thing requires at least some thought from me for 30-45 minutes, and my actual presence for a portion of that time.

The kids have been really helpful this week. I made it sound like I was doing everything in my last post, but that is not the case. They have been making some of their meals, cleaning up all their dishes after their meals, helping a ton with the cat feedings, coming home alone late from activities, and managing themselves alone a lot more than usual. The 12yo especially has really stepped up, he has been getting himself out of bed and ready and leaving for school entirely on his own every morning this week; the 15yo leaves right when he gets up and I call him right before he’s about to leave so he’s been very independent with his morning routine.

Again, I know things are not that bad right now. I just went looking for a post about that “let’s hope we don’t lock ourselves out of the house first*” reference from last May, and I came across a post at the end of that month that was truly bonkerballs! Talk about having a lot on my plate! It definitely gave me some perspective and I’m glad I revisited it. I’m just tired and cold, and jonsing for the winter vacation to start.

* Last year the 15yo inadvertently locked us out of the house (by shutting the gate) when I was supposed to drive her to her spring concert. The car was parked on the street, but I didn’t have my keys to start it. She started taking public transport back to school, and ended up in an Uber. She got there right before the concert started, without her sheet music and the papers she needed to introduce all the songs (she was emceeing the first part of the event). It was an absolute shit show that I’m surprised I didn’t write about at the time, and that we are really hoping we don’t repeat this year.

Parenting & Family/Work/Teaching

Solo Parenting Strategies

Posted on December 10, 2025 by noemikjames / 11 Comments

The husband is out of town this week. The in-laws are also still gone, which means I am really and truly going it alone until the weekend.

My kids are older, so really it’s not that bad. And yet… it’s only Wednesday and I’m exhausted. Every night I do EVERYTHING I need to for the next day, I do all the dishes and I make sure everything is in the upstairs fridge that I need for breakfasts and lunches, I double check that the kids’ bags are completely packed, I put the two cans of cat food and two clean bowls out on the counter. I even lay my entire outfit (undergarments and all) out on the couch in our bedroom and put my shoes and socks on the stairs before I go to bed each night.

The husband is usually at home with the 12yo in the mornings, and when he’s gone the in-laws usually come in the mornings to help him get ready for school. With everyone away, I am waking him up earlier than normal, and making sure his breakfast is made before I go. I also have to feed the cats, and make sure Serval doesn’t steal food from his sister. (Feeding the cats is a whole thing in our house.) This means I’m leaving the house 15ish minutes later than usual, which means I’m hitting way more traffic than usual, especially at the end when I get close to school. Instead of having 45 minutes of prep time before my classes start, I’m only getting 10-15 minutes.

This means I’m using my time even more wisely at school than I usually do. Every moment that I’m not actively teaching, I am prepping something. I am always writing something on the board, or opening a slide deck I need, or scoring work, or returning it to student hanging files. I am literally using every minute at work to be ready for what is coming.

I am always planning what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it at home. What will dinner be tonight and when will I make it? When can I return the last pair of Nike pants? When can I check my credit card statement to make sure all the other returns have gone through? Where will the 12yo and I have dinner when we have to bring the 15yo to her winter concert 1.5 hours before it starts? My brain is constantly managing logistics.

And you know what? I’m managing a lot. And I’m doing a pretty decent job. So why don’t I employ these strategies all the time? Because it’s NOT SUSTAINABLE. I could never keep this up long term. If I were a true solo parent (my hats off to them!) I would have to create totally different systems that do not require this amount of energy and attention.

It reminds me of when we did a major clean up of the house, and I vowed to pick up everything, every day, so that it continued to look immaculate. Surely if I picked up the daily mess as it happened, it wouldn’t take that long to keep it up! I lasted about a week before I realized that it actually takes WAY LONGER to pick up every day than it does to do a sweep at the of the week. Keeping the house pristine requires a crazy amount of work every day, but living with some mess, and then picking up more stuff on the weekend, was a lot easier to manage.

So far I’ve kept all the balls in the air. I’m a little worried that I won’t make it to Saturday before something comes crashing down, either because of exhaustion or because past successes make me complacent.

I’ve been writing this for over 24 hours. The fact that I’m finishing it right now feels like a miracle. I definitely paused correcting tests to get it done, mostly because it kept nagging at my, unfinished, and I figured being able to cross it off my list would help me move forward more efficiently with other tasks.

And now I’m going to do just that. On to other tasks!

Connection/Friendship/Travel

A certain kind of story I tell myself

Posted on December 6, 2025 by noemikjames / 7 Comments

There are times, when coincidences happen and things line up in a certain way, and I tell myself, it’s meant to be! I was disappointed when that happened, but now this is happening and it’s even better! Or, I can’t pass up this opportunity because look at how things came together!

It can be about little things. Like on Monday I was frustrated with myself that I didn’t workout, because on Tuesday I had less flexibility in the afternoon to do so. But then on Tuesday there was a brand new Sim 60 bike boot camp waiting for me – it had been filmed that morning! – and I thought, see! If I had worked out yesterday this wouldn’t have been there. It was meant to be!

It can also be about big things. We’ve been talking about maybe going to Death Valley over the break. I wanted to go before Christmas, because those days of anticipation can be looong, even with older kids. Also, it’s more fun to be home AFTER you have received your gifts, when you have new LEGO sets to build or video games to play. The husband was less interested in a trip before Christmas because his parents would still be out of town, and they are our go-to cat carers when we’re away. With all that has been happening with Serval, a having someone who knows them at the house once a day seemed like the best bet.

We talked a lot about it, and I was starting to think maybe we should just skip the trip. I was feeling pretty bummed out about the prospect of two long weeks at home with the kids, fighting them on screen time and doing their chores. I texted my good friend to see if she had anything planned over the break – sometimes they invite us to stay at a friend’s place in Grass Valley – and she wrote back saying they were going to Death Valley after Christmas! I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t mentioned my possible plans to her, and she already had those same plans set and ready.

So I started looking into it again. She had reservations at a spot inside the park called The Oasis, which has a hotel, motel and camp ground. There was no availability at the hotel or motel for the dates my friend would be there. All the AirBnBs nearby were actually 1.5-2 hours away. I had looked at the camp ground before, but there was no tent-only area and the prospect of tent camping between RVs did not seem ideal. Also, it gets COLD in Death Valley at night in December. Our tent is not rated for cold weather.

Then I thought… but what if we were also in an RV? I’ve wanted to rent an RV since I was little. My cousin and I talked about renting an RV and driving around the country for YEARS when we were younger. My aunts still like to reminisce about our plans; we talked about it constantly. We could rent a camper van – something not too big – and camp at the same spot as our friends. We’d have access to showers, a pool (it gets into the mid-high 70s in Death Valley in December), a restaurant and a general store. The camp ground has no hook-ups, so it doesn’t make sense to take something bigger with more amenities (which I wouldn’t want to drive all the way down to Death Valley – it’s an 8-9 hour drive). Also, with a smaller camper van, it wouldn’t be a bummer to drive it around the park, which is REALLY big.

Oh, and the dates line up so the in-laws can take care of the cats. How perfect is that?

Anyway, I am definitely telling myself the story that, THIS WAS MEANT TO BE! Which makes me a little worried that I’m not considering all the issues. Can I be clear minded about something when I’m telling myself this story? I’m not sure. But! Maybe the most important thing is embracing an opportunity to have an adventure with friends. It’s cool that it could potentially work out, and it checks off a few different boxes that have been floating around unchecked for a long time. The kids are getting older and there is only so much time we have left with them before they start their own lives out in the world. Surely a trip in a camper van to Death Valley will be a cool memory to have.

…

Okay, so I rented the camper van. We’re doing it. And I’m excited! I think this will be great way to try something I’ve always been interested in doing, while going to a place I’ve always wanted to visit. And we’ll be hanging out a bit with our friends too!

If you have any tips for first time camper van drivers/users, please let me know! I could use all the advice I can get!

Do you ever tell yourself stories about “meant to be”? Have you driven a camping van or motor home?

Uncategorized

A “pebbles in my shoe” start to December

Posted on December 1, 2025 by noemikjames / 5 Comments

It was hard to go back to work today. On Friday, when school was unexpectedly cancelled, I didn’t let myself think too much about all the things I had planned that wouldn’t happen. But yesterday, as I sketched out the week, I realized it was going to be hard to get caught up after the missing day. I’m not the teacher who can just say, oh well, we missed that, let’s move on. I’m the kind of teacher who tries to cram at least parts of what we missed into the next week, and stresses herself out doing it.

{Please know I don’t wear that as a badge of honor, but recognize it as an area of growth.}

This morning the cat knocked the vitamin sorter onto the floor and it took me forever to find the 15yos five Concerta pills. I left work late because of the lost time, but luckily the traffic wasn’t too bad (shockingly actually, traffic is usually awful on Monday if I leave late.)

At Costco I left my cart somewhere to grab something and then I accidentally walked away with someone else’s cart, and by the time I brought that back (the person found it again thank goodness!), I couldn’t find my own cart anywhere. Maybe someone took mine by accident too? I searched all over before finally giving up and starting again with a new cart. It was totally demoralizing; I had to go back and grab so many items again. Thank goodness I hadn’t left my wallet/keys or phone in my cart! I do that sometimes!

At home I had to talk the 12yo out of some I-hate-school spiraling. If he continues to feel so negatively about school it’s going to be a looooong 6.5 more years. It’s all I can do to not let myself spiral after conversations like today’s.

I didn’t end up working out today, and I’m annoyed at myself for it. I would have felt better if I’d gotten my heart rate up, but I felt like I should hang out with the 12yo, then the 15yo came home and the husband wasn’t feeling well, and suddenly it was 9:30pm and I hadn’t worked out but still needed to take the cans out. Boo.

But! Tomorrow is another day. And today was fine, just a lot of “pebbles in my shoe” (as they say) kind of day. I firmly believe the second day after a break is harder than the first, so I should get to bed before I place another pebble in my shoe. Or at this point I guess it would be my slipper.