Health & Well Being/Life/Marriage/Photography/Work/Teaching

Wins this week

Posted on by noemikjames / 4 Comments

It’s been a hard week, but there have definitely been some wins.

MONDAY. I brought running clothes to school, changed into them super fast, got out of the school parking lot before the traffic was bad, and got in a four mile run before the sun went done and the temperature dropped. I felt pretty good! Then I did the CG Dead Bug workout and actually felt strong during it. Even at the end I felt capable, and that is usually not the case.

The reservoir at the end of my run.

TUESDAY. I made it to the informational meeting at the 12yo’s school, both kids made their own dinners and the 12yo fed the cats. I went to the dojo for grappling, even though I really just wanted to stay home, and then grappling was canceled, so I got to go home without worrying I missed anything! Do I wish I had known it was cancelled and saved myself two bus rides? Definitely. But I’m still proud of myself that I went and I’m proud of the kids that they managed everything at home. Finally, I’m proud of myself for ditching my workout for the night and going to bed early. I listened to my energy levels and honored where I was at.

WEDNESDAY. We got out of our staff meeting early, and I ran to the city Costco to see if they had anything fun before Xmas. I found a few things I haven’t seen at the other two Costcos. I got all the 8th grade tests graded.

A tree changing color at my work.

THURSDAY. I FINALLY returned all the clothes that were accumulating in my trunk. There were a couple things from a few different orders and it was hard to organize it, but I finally got it done! I also returned the Nike pants I got the 12yo over a month ago, that I couldn’t return until a previous return was processed (long, dumb story). Also, my plan to take the 12yo to KFC during the hour between when we had to drop the 15yo at school before her concert and when the concert worked out perfectly. We literally walked into the auditorium five minutes before the concert started.

FRIDAY. We had another water main issue, but this time they knew it time to order port-a-potties. But! We still had an unplanned minimum day on Friday, which was very much appreciated. I took advantage of the two extra afternoon hours to go on another run! I ran five miles this time and felt great again. It’s been so nice to go on runs that feel good. Back at home I did the CG dead bug workout again. It’s hard to motivate to do that workout after I’ve been in the car for 30 minutes driving home, so I’m always proud when I manage it. Also, my audiobook ended exactly when my run ended, and then my podcast ended exactly when the CG dead bug workout ended.

Soooo many wild turkeys on the path where I run!
I almost ran into a full grown deer earlier in my run, it did absolutely nothing to get out of my way. This guy was also unfazed by my presence.
This is truly one of my favorite places on in the world.

SATURDAY. I got the 12yo into Rec and Park swim! His friend had to change days, which is a big bummer, but hopefully he will make a friend or two there and enjoy it. (Right now he is not enthusiastic about trying swim team, at all.) I was really nervous we wouldn’t get him into swim, but I was there right when registration opened and snagged him a spot. Then I taught my class at the dojo. It wasn’t great, but I got it done! There were plenty of red belts at the adult test so I didn’t have to stay for that. Instead I went home and did a killer 45 minute strength class and was done right when the husband’s flight landed. The husband is now home! He’ll be pretty out of pocket dealing with jet lag for the rest of the weekend, but I’m looking forward to his help this coming week.

Health & Well Being/Life/Parenting & Family/Work/Teaching

The stuff that is NOT HELPING

Posted on by noemikjames / 2 Comments

I was right. I totally ran out of steam and this morning was a shit show. It started last night when I remembered at 11pm that I still hadn’t put wiper fluid in the car, even though I had been struggling to see every morning this week on the way to work. So I did that super late and it was annoying and I wasn’t asleep until way later than I meant to.

Then I got up five minutes later than usual this morning. And I left 10 minutes later than usual. And I got to school 15 minutes later than usual (there was an accident on my way to work). You may remember than Thursdays are my least favorite day because I teach four 85-minute classes and have no prep time. Tonight is the 15yo’s Winter Concert which means we’ll be home really late.

I am officially over this week.

Some other stuff that is not helping…

I have two deep breaks in my skin, on my thumb and pointer finger than will NOT HEAL. I get these all the time because I cut my nails too short to keep from biting them, but usually they will heal if I keep them covered for a couple days. It’s been weeks and they are deeper and more painful than ever, despite constant attention from me. I’m sure it’s because my hands are so dry, but seriously, they are making me crazy. Keeping band-aids on the tips of your fingers is basically impossible, and with a band-aid on my thumb I can’t unlock my computer with my finger print. Blerg, I’m so over it.

Speaking of dry hands, they are dry because the heat is always blasting because it’s been cold here! I know it’s never really cold in San Francisco, but we’re a few weeks into a record breaking cold snap here in the Bay Area and it’s wearing on me. Our house is not well insulated, and my bedroom especially is always so cold. I’m sleeping in a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks, under several blankets and it’s still so chilly. It’s exhausting to feel so cold all the time, and it makes it really hard to do thinks like workout.

All the 7th and 8th grade classes are taking assessments this week. Which means I have to score said assessments. This is an unavoidable part of my job, I just wish it weren’t the same week that everything else feels crazy.

A bunch of kids will be out all of next week, which means I need to give them the work they will be missing. At this point I have it all copied so it’s not as bad, but getting to the point where I had it all ready was stressful and again, I just wish everything weren’t happening this week.

Speaking of kids that are out, I have several chronically absent students this year and it’s a massive energy and time suck managing their work make up. Many of them are having mental health struggles, so the timeline for making up work is uncertain.

Tonight is the 15yo’s Winter Concert. She’s had rehearsal until late every evening this week. Today she will come home after school, get changed, and then we’ll bring her back to school at 5:45 (let’s hope we don’t lock ourselves out of the house first!*), which means the 12yo and I will have over an hour to kill before the concert starts (it’s a 25 minute drive at that time of day, so it doesn’t make sense to go back home). I think there is a KFC over there so we can grab food and then head to the auditorium, which shouldn’t be too bad, but I know the 12yo will have shit to say about all of it.

Feeding the cats continues to be an exercise in frustration. Serval needs to eat special prescription food to dissolve the crystals in his urinary tract. Panther takes forever to finish her food. We always try to keep Serval from Panther’s food (because… feline obesity), but it feels especially important now. We switched Panther’s food to a brand that supports Urinary Care (but is not prescription) so it’s fine if Serval eats some of it, but again, feline obesity… so we have to watch them, or lock Serval out of the space where Panther is eating until she finishes. She generally eats some, leaves it for a while, then wants to go back and eat again later, which means the whole “cats are eating” thing requires at least some thought from me for 30-45 minutes, and my actual presence for a portion of that time.

The kids have been really helpful this week. I made it sound like I was doing everything in my last post, but that is not the case. They have been making some of their meals, cleaning up all their dishes after their meals, helping a ton with the cat feedings, coming home alone late from activities, and managing themselves alone a lot more than usual. The 12yo especially has really stepped up, he has been getting himself out of bed and ready and leaving for school entirely on his own every morning this week; the 15yo leaves right when he gets up and I call him right before he’s about to leave so he’s been very independent with his morning routine.

Again, I know things are not that bad right now. I just went looking for a post about that “let’s hope we don’t lock ourselves out of the house first*” reference from last May, and I came across a post at the end of that month that was truly bonkerballs! Talk about having a lot on my plate! It definitely gave me some perspective and I’m glad I revisited it. I’m just tired and cold, and jonsing for the winter vacation to start.

* Last year the 15yo inadvertently locked us out of the house (by shutting the gate) when I was supposed to drive her to her spring concert. The car was parked on the street, but I didn’t have my keys to start it. She started taking public transport back to school, and ended up in an Uber. She got there right before the concert started, without her sheet music and the papers she needed to introduce all the songs (she was emceeing the first part of the event). It was an absolute shit show that I’m surprised I didn’t write about at the time, and that we are really hoping we don’t repeat this year.

Parenting & Family/Work/Teaching

Solo Parenting Strategies

Posted on by noemikjames / 11 Comments

The husband is out of town this week. The in-laws are also still gone, which means I am really and truly going it alone until the weekend.

My kids are older, so really it’s not that bad. And yet… it’s only Wednesday and I’m exhausted. Every night I do EVERYTHING I need to for the next day, I do all the dishes and I make sure everything is in the upstairs fridge that I need for breakfasts and lunches, I double check that the kids’ bags are completely packed, I put the two cans of cat food and two clean bowls out on the counter. I even lay my entire outfit (undergarments and all) out on the couch in our bedroom and put my shoes and socks on the stairs before I go to bed each night.

The husband is usually at home with the 12yo in the mornings, and when he’s gone the in-laws usually come in the mornings to help him get ready for school. With everyone away, I am waking him up earlier than normal, and making sure his breakfast is made before I go. I also have to feed the cats, and make sure Serval doesn’t steal food from his sister. (Feeding the cats is a whole thing in our house.) This means I’m leaving the house 15ish minutes later than usual, which means I’m hitting way more traffic than usual, especially at the end when I get close to school. Instead of having 45 minutes of prep time before my classes start, I’m only getting 10-15 minutes.

This means I’m using my time even more wisely at school than I usually do. Every moment that I’m not actively teaching, I am prepping something. I am always writing something on the board, or opening a slide deck I need, or scoring work, or returning it to student hanging files. I am literally using every minute at work to be ready for what is coming.

I am always planning what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it at home. What will dinner be tonight and when will I make it? When can I return the last pair of Nike pants? When can I check my credit card statement to make sure all the other returns have gone through? Where will the 12yo and I have dinner when we have to bring the 15yo to her winter concert 1.5 hours before it starts? My brain is constantly managing logistics.

And you know what? I’m managing a lot. And I’m doing a pretty decent job. So why don’t I employ these strategies all the time? Because it’s NOT SUSTAINABLE. I could never keep this up long term. If I were a true solo parent (my hats off to them!) I would have to create totally different systems that do not require this amount of energy and attention.

It reminds me of when we did a major clean up of the house, and I vowed to pick up everything, every day, so that it continued to look immaculate. Surely if I picked up the daily mess as it happened, it wouldn’t take that long to keep it up! I lasted about a week before I realized that it actually takes WAY LONGER to pick up every day than it does to do a sweep at the of the week. Keeping the house pristine requires a crazy amount of work every day, but living with some mess, and then picking up more stuff on the weekend, was a lot easier to manage.

So far I’ve kept all the balls in the air. I’m a little worried that I won’t make it to Saturday before something comes crashing down, either because of exhaustion or because past successes make me complacent.

I’ve been writing this for over 24 hours. The fact that I’m finishing it right now feels like a miracle. I definitely paused correcting tests to get it done, mostly because it kept nagging at my, unfinished, and I figured being able to cross it off my list would help me move forward more efficiently with other tasks.

And now I’m going to do just that. On to other tasks!

Connection/Friendship/Travel

A certain kind of story I tell myself

Posted on by noemikjames / 7 Comments

There are times, when coincidences happen and things line up in a certain way, and I tell myself, it’s meant to be! I was disappointed when that happened, but now this is happening and it’s even better! Or, I can’t pass up this opportunity because look at how things came together!

It can be about little things. Like on Monday I was frustrated with myself that I didn’t workout, because on Tuesday I had less flexibility in the afternoon to do so. But then on Tuesday there was a brand new Sim 60 bike boot camp waiting for me – it had been filmed that morning! – and I thought, see! If I had worked out yesterday this wouldn’t have been there. It was meant to be!

It can also be about big things. We’ve been talking about maybe going to Death Valley over the break. I wanted to go before Christmas, because those days of anticipation can be looong, even with older kids. Also, it’s more fun to be home AFTER you have received your gifts, when you have new LEGO sets to build or video games to play. The husband was less interested in a trip before Christmas because his parents would still be out of town, and they are our go-to cat carers when we’re away. With all that has been happening with Serval, a having someone who knows them at the house once a day seemed like the best bet.

We talked a lot about it, and I was starting to think maybe we should just skip the trip. I was feeling pretty bummed out about the prospect of two long weeks at home with the kids, fighting them on screen time and doing their chores. I texted my good friend to see if she had anything planned over the break – sometimes they invite us to stay at a friend’s place in Grass Valley – and she wrote back saying they were going to Death Valley after Christmas! I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t mentioned my possible plans to her, and she already had those same plans set and ready.

So I started looking into it again. She had reservations at a spot inside the park called The Oasis, which has a hotel, motel and camp ground. There was no availability at the hotel or motel for the dates my friend would be there. All the AirBnBs nearby were actually 1.5-2 hours away. I had looked at the camp ground before, but there was no tent-only area and the prospect of tent camping between RVs did not seem ideal. Also, it gets COLD in Death Valley at night in December. Our tent is not rated for cold weather.

Then I thought… but what if we were also in an RV? I’ve wanted to rent an RV since I was little. My cousin and I talked about renting an RV and driving around the country for YEARS when we were younger. My aunts still like to reminisce about our plans; we talked about it constantly. We could rent a camper van – something not too big – and camp at the same spot as our friends. We’d have access to showers, a pool (it gets into the mid-high 70s in Death Valley in December), a restaurant and a general store. The camp ground has no hook-ups, so it doesn’t make sense to take something bigger with more amenities (which I wouldn’t want to drive all the way down to Death Valley – it’s an 8-9 hour drive). Also, with a smaller camper van, it wouldn’t be a bummer to drive it around the park, which is REALLY big.

Oh, and the dates line up so the in-laws can take care of the cats. How perfect is that?

Anyway, I am definitely telling myself the story that, THIS WAS MEANT TO BE! Which makes me a little worried that I’m not considering all the issues. Can I be clear minded about something when I’m telling myself this story? I’m not sure. But! Maybe the most important thing is embracing an opportunity to have an adventure with friends. It’s cool that it could potentially work out, and it checks off a few different boxes that have been floating around unchecked for a long time. The kids are getting older and there is only so much time we have left with them before they start their own lives out in the world. Surely a trip in a camper van to Death Valley will be a cool memory to have.

…

Okay, so I rented the camper van. We’re doing it. And I’m excited! I think this will be great way to try something I’ve always been interested in doing, while going to a place I’ve always wanted to visit. And we’ll be hanging out a bit with our friends too!

If you have any tips for first time camper van drivers/users, please let me know! I could use all the advice I can get!

Do you ever tell yourself stories about “meant to be”? Have you driven a camping van or motor home?

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A “pebbles in my shoe” start to December

Posted on by noemikjames / 5 Comments

It was hard to go back to work today. On Friday, when school was unexpectedly cancelled, I didn’t let myself think too much about all the things I had planned that wouldn’t happen. But yesterday, as I sketched out the week, I realized it was going to be hard to get caught up after the missing day. I’m not the teacher who can just say, oh well, we missed that, let’s move on. I’m the kind of teacher who tries to cram at least parts of what we missed into the next week, and stresses herself out doing it.

{Please know I don’t wear that as a badge of honor, but recognize it as an area of growth.}

This morning the cat knocked the vitamin sorter onto the floor and it took me forever to find the 15yos five Concerta pills. I left work late because of the lost time, but luckily the traffic wasn’t too bad (shockingly actually, traffic is usually awful on Monday if I leave late.)

At Costco I left my cart somewhere to grab something and then I accidentally walked away with someone else’s cart, and by the time I brought that back (the person found it again thank goodness!), I couldn’t find my own cart anywhere. Maybe someone took mine by accident too? I searched all over before finally giving up and starting again with a new cart. It was totally demoralizing; I had to go back and grab so many items again. Thank goodness I hadn’t left my wallet/keys or phone in my cart! I do that sometimes!

At home I had to talk the 12yo out of some I-hate-school spiraling. If he continues to feel so negatively about school it’s going to be a looooong 6.5 more years. It’s all I can do to not let myself spiral after conversations like today’s.

I didn’t end up working out today, and I’m annoyed at myself for it. I would have felt better if I’d gotten my heart rate up, but I felt like I should hang out with the 12yo, then the 15yo came home and the husband wasn’t feeling well, and suddenly it was 9:30pm and I hadn’t worked out but still needed to take the cans out. Boo.

But! Tomorrow is another day. And today was fine, just a lot of “pebbles in my shoe” (as they say) kind of day. I firmly believe the second day after a break is harder than the first, so I should get to bed before I place another pebble in my shoe. Or at this point I guess it would be my slipper.

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Five 5s on the last day of November (and NaBloPoMo)

Posted on by noemikjames / 5 Comments

Unexpected happenings

  • The 15yo did not get the internship that was consuming so much of our time and mental/emotional energy.
  • Serval had a health emergency. It cost $$$.
  • We had to totally change the cat’s food. Turns out Serval is not allergic to poultry! (Thank goodness)
  • School cancelled on the Friday before the Thanksgiving Break due to a water main break.
  • The husband was invited to Berlin for work, and is leaving this coming Saturday for a week.

Highlights

  • NaBloPoMo was a lot of fun. I loved reading all the blog posts, and was proud that I posted every day! (I’m counting the day I missed, because I only missed by two minutes. šŸ˜‰ Thanks again to San for hosting!
  • Hiking at the Marin Headlands with the family.
  • Impromptu date night with the husband the Monday before Veterans day.
  • Outlets with the 15yo. We got some good deals and had a great time.
  • Two kid-free nights with the husband this past week.

Lowlights

  • The emotional fallout from the 15yo not getting the internship. It was really hard for her, and I think both the husband and I were struck by how long it took us to process the disappointment.
  • Struggling through a couple weeks of low mood.
  • Getting sick over the break. I never felt awful, but I’ve definitely been battling a head and chest cold.
  • Spending too much money. I feel like I kind of lost control for a couple of weeks and I regret some of my purchases this month. I really need to stop buying stuff.
  • Stressing about my ADHD med change. I’ve really struggled with focus recently, but I can’t tell if it’s entirely because of the change in my meds. I’ve spent A LOT of mental energy thinking about whether or not I should change back to a stimulant medication, and how long I should wait before I do (if that is what I decide). It’s been a pretty massive mental energy suck for me this month.

Achievements

  • Purchased all the Christmas gifts! I could grab a few more small things, but I could also be done and have plenty.
  • Put the winter bedding on our bed. This involves taking a bunch of stuff out of the hallway closet, to get back to the heavier bedding. Then I had to wash the duvet cover and the bamboo blanket, which takes forever to dry.
  • Deep cleaned the kids’ shower AND the plastic shelves where we keep a bunch of stuff in that bathroom. That thing was disgusting.
  • Reorganized my closet. I got rid of a bunch of clothes I don’t wear much anymore, packed some stuff into storage, and moved around what was left so there is space for my colder weather clothes, and they are easier to access!
  • Got the calendars made and ordered! I didn’t even have pictures curated at the start of the month, so it was a lot to get done.

Looking forward to / coming up next month

  • SHU’s book (Best Laid Plans) coming out mid-month! I pre-ordered it and I can’t wait to read it!
  • The winter break, obvi. Only 14 teaching days between now and two weeks off.
  • The holidays. I love this time of year. I love the lights. I love the celebrations. The kids are old enough that I even kind of like Christmas day now! Ha!
  • Our staff holiday party. I like our staff and it’s usually a good time.
  • But before that… the second week of December is shaping up to be a real doozy. The husband is away in Berlin. I have book club at the same time as the dojo’s anniversary/holiday party that Saturdays (the 6th). The 12yo has a show at school that I need to get coverage for to see. The 15yo has a winter concert, plus a tech and dress rehearsal. There is an info night for the 6th grade sleep away trip (which is in May! Why is the info meeting during the busiest month of the year?!) on the same night there is a special guest teacher at the dojo. The next Saturday is Rec and Park’s winter registration and I’m trying to get the 12yo on a swim team. It’s going to suck. I’m already dreading it. Blerg. Blerg. And more blerg.
Uncategorized

5 things I’m excited about

Posted on by noemikjames / 4 Comments

I just ordered four 12×12 calendars AND three ornaments from Shutterfly for $112 with taxes. That is a crazy good deal. Also, I’m done with the calendars! Woot! They never feel totally done until I actually order them.

The Nike pants I ordered the 12yo finally came today and I think they are going to fit him perfectly. They are men’s slim fit tech sweats size XS and they are long enough, but also have a small waist. I’m so excited. They were crazy expensive (even on sale) for a 12yo boys pants, but he isn’t getting much for Xmas, so I’m willing to get him a couple pairs. I’m just excited they will fit perfectly! Literally no pants fit him well.

We had lunch at a new Indian spot near us and it was really good, and not too expensive. I am excited to have a spot we can order awesome Indian food from. It was seriously yummy. Also, we ordered way too much and have a ton of Indian food waiting for me to eat in our fridge.

I got my parents Cirque du Soleil tickets for Christmas, and I’ll be bringing the kids. I usually get them an experience for Christmas, and SF Sketchfest, which happens in early January is my normal fallback for a show for us to see together, but this year there wasn’t much I thought they’d like. The husband recommended Cirque, and I grabbed tickets for the Saturday after Christmas. I’m so relieved to have something big and exciting to give them. Presents for my parents always stress me out.

The husband and I are talking about going to LA – just us – over my Spring Break in April and it’s nice to have something to look forward to. Most of my college friends live down there, and are very good friends had a baby recently that we still haven’t met yet. We’re also tentatively talking about a quick trip to Death Valley with the kids during the winter break. We’re a little worried about leaving the cats while the in-laws are away, but also don’t want to be gone when the in-laws finally get back (they are in Texas from last week through Christmas). So we’ll see about that one. At least LA in April should probably happen.

This is actually a sixth thing, but I must say, I’m excited that tomorrow is a final day of break. I need one day to get a bunch of stuff done, so work doesn’t feel too onerous this week, and tomorrow will be that day! Hooray!

Oh! One more! I realized I can store Christmas presents in the garage where the giant Christmas stuff storage box usually lives. Why have I never taken advantage of this spot before? Itā€™s high up, no one can see whatā€™s back there, and if I keep stuff in the boxes they get shipped in I can store a lot of gifts up there. I already have three boxes of presents up there and Iā€™m so excited to have all that space to store stuff.

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5 things I’m doing with this time (and 5 things I’m not doing)

Posted on by noemikjames / 5 Comments

5 things I AM doing

Watch tons of stuff. We watched Sinners last night after we got home (so good, I highly recommend). Then we watched two episodes of I Love LA. Today I finished El Cuco de Cristal on Netflix (I’m so mad I didn’t know this was a Javier Castillo book! I loved the Miren Triggs (Snow Girl) trilogy. He just put out another book in October so I may listen to that.) Tonight we’ll probably keep watching Task. I’m really liking it but the husband is suspending judgement until the end, which he doubts will be satisfying. We shall see (he did not watch The Mare of Eastown, which I watched and really liked).

Eat left overs. Already did this for a late lunch today, and will surely do it again tomorrow!

Have dinner and drinks with the husband. We have a 5:30 reservation for dinner and then a later reservation for drinks at a spot we can never get into. I’m excited to go out!

Reconnect. We’re planning on walking to dinner tonight, so lots of talk time. We realized today that we started dating 20 years ago this coming January. That is crazy. I’m so glad we found each other and have stayed together. The early years of parenting were hard on our marriage, but it’s better now, as long as we put in the work. I’m really grateful we have this time together.

Sleep in, laze around. We already did this a lot today. It’s chilly in our house and we stayed in bed chatting for a long time. I was on the couch with a cat on my lap watching episodes of Cuco de Cristal for a while this morning (the hubs was playing video games). Besides getting brunch tomorrow we’ll probably do more of the same tomorrow. I love lounging around the house when there are no kids in it.

5 things I’m NOT doing

Laundry.

Cleaning.

Work.

Commenting on blogs. (It will have to wait until Sunday – the last day of NaBloPoMo.)

Dishes. (I’ll leave them for the husband.)

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Five things I’m thankful for today

Posted on by noemikjames / 5 Comments

Health. Everyone in our immediate family, right now, is healthy. Even all four grandparents are healthy. After all my health issues recently, and the sudden loss of a close friend we suffered this year, I don’t take our current health for granted. Heck, even Serval seems to be doing a lot better!

Happiness. There are ups and downs to be sure, but no one is battling depression or intense anxiety right now. With a 15yo sophomore and and a 12yo who started middle school this year, I consider us very fortunate in the emotional well-being department.

Friendship. Both kids got to see friends this week. The 15yo has had a hard go of it, friendship wise, the past 18 months, but things seem to be evening out. The 12yo has kept, and even expanded, his friend group at the start of middle school. The husband goes out for dinner and drinks with people a couple times a month. My little friend group is still supporting each other, and a couple of us really need that support right now. No one feels alone. There were a lot of Thanksgivings when I felt like I had no friends living close to me, and I was so, so lonely. I am always grateful for friendship.

Financial security. We are very lucky to have secure, stable jobs. We’ve never made a lot of money, but we’ve made very consistent money and we were fortunate to have parents who could support us when we started out, so we’re not paying off crazy student debt. We are very financially fortunate, and I probably do take our financial security for granted, though I always try to be aware of it.

My family. Things are not perfect in our little family of four. The husband and I are really hoping to reconnect this weekend while the kids are at my parents’ house, because we need it. The 12yo is very much tweening, which can be rough for all of us and the 15yo has been managing some big emotions this year. But! We enjoy each other’s company (for the most part) and I love spending time with them. When I was fighting so hard to build a family, what we have is exactly what I envisioned, and who gets to say that? I am very grateful for our family of four.

We just found out that the family friends who usually come to Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house are sick so they won’t be able to make it. In the past their highschooler has made it hard for our 12yo to enjoy the evening, so I’m very relieved that we won’t have to navigate that dynamic today! Kind of a big win, honestly!

I hope everyone has a delightful Thanksgiving with whomever you celebrate with!