I feel like I’ve been sprinting a marathon and I can see the finish line, but I’m hitting the wall. Hard.
I’m just so tired and struggling so hard to make it to the end.
I know it’s a lot of things. I recognize each of them individually and know that together they are compounding the negative feelings exponentially.
The biggest weight is the volume of obligations I’ve tackled over the past six weeks. The yearbook. The belt test. Wrapping up collaborative characters and original stories. Completing the free reading program in four classes. Celebrations thrown for students. The 11yo’s 5th grade promotion. The 15yo’s birthday.
This Saturday I took three tween boys to a card show, hosted the 15yo’s family birthday, then hosted her friends’ for a spend the night. I left the house with the 11yo at 10am and returned home the girls’ dinner at 6:30pm and didn’t really stop at any point in between And it didn’t even seem like that crazy of a day! It felt like par for the course.
It’s just been too much. And for too long.
The news out of California is not helping. The fear I feel for our country is hard to engage. It makes me want to shut down, but I know I can’t. This administration has been in office for six months (barely!) and the damage that has been done is vast and probably irreparable. How does one process that?
My health is not stabilizing. New symptoms appear and I’m not sure if they should be attributed to my Grave’s disease, stress, of both. I email my doctor, but she doesn’t get back to me. I’m never sure when I should be truly alarmed or just annoyed. I oscillate between feeling scared for my immediate and future well being, and simply frustrated that I don’t have any answers. It’s exhausting and makes everything else I’m trying to manage a lot harder.
I know summer has started for most people, but here I am, limping to the finish line. I know Friday will eventually come, but I also know that I won’t wake up on Monday to a stress-free life. I think part of heaviness I’m feeling is knowing that even on the other side, when the immediate stressors are behind me, there will be plenty on my plate. Even when you sprint through a marathon, you still have to make your way back to your car, drive home, take a shower, and wake up to all your chores the next morning. That’s just life. I finished enough school years to know what’s waiting for me during the summer break, and it’s not the answer to all my problems.
But maybe a little space, and some time, will improve things more than I’m expecting…
Great analogy. Sprinting a marathon is hard enough, but then you still have to get back to your car etc, etc, and continue on with your life. I’m sorry it’s been so rough. The fact that your physical symptoms aren’t improving is maddening. I want to get mad at your doctor for not answering your emails, but they’re probably sprinting their own marathon. I hope the end of school (so close) gives you some relief.
On another note- your package arrived today. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I’m ecited to try it.
Yay! So glad it arrived! I hope it helps!
And yes I assumed you’d know what I was talking about. My getting to the car and driving home is going through everyone’s clothes to donate or store for winter. It’s going to take forever but needs to be done. Boo!
Simply support for you. I hope with 3 days to go til Friday is a wrap that you get some time for you. But I fear you will not. Esp with house clean up and the trip to Farm on the schedule. Hopefully the doc will get back to you soon and provide some help. Huge support!!!
Your cheering team.
Argh Naomi… this does sound like tough race you are doing. I am sorry life has been so hard and stressful.
I had to google Graves disease and realized that is what is running in my family and many suffer (for now I am not and I hope I won’t) so I have a feeling how you are doing.
I hope summer does give you some breathing room to get back some strength and peace of mind.
2025 seems to be a rally tough one and a sprinting marathon for many.