Hey all. Sorry to be gone again for so long.
In all honestly I am REALLY struggling to show up here right now. I’m not sure what it is. When I think about coming to write a post I just feel… meh. It’s like I can’t muster the enthusiasm to show up.
I even found myself considering… stopping. Like either suspending posting for a while or… stopping all together.
I have been writing a blog for a looong time. Since before the almost 16yo was born. I have never, in all of that time, seriously considered not blogging.
And it’s not that I’m seriously considering not blogging, it just when I thought, maybe I should stop? Instead of feeling shocked and dismayed by the thought I felt.. not much? That feels significant in and of itself.
I’m not really sure what is going on. The meh feeling is not just affecting my enthusiasm for this space. Things between my husband and I are not great but I can’t seem to muster the energy to do much about that either. Usually the lack of connection between us feels so bad that I am eager confront him about it, even if I know the conversation will be unpleasant. Lately, I’d rather just avoid the conversation, even if it means maintaining a fairly unpleasant status quo at home.
In the meantime, it’s my spring break. I’m still waking up at 6:30 to get the 15yo up and out the door, so it doesn’t really feel like a vacation. Yesterday I was out of the house almost all day (bagels/groceries, cats to the vet, lunch with husband, allergy shot, Cotsco trip) and today I stayed home all day running many loads of laundry and cleaning up. I have a mixture of errands/appointments and home time for the next two days. Friday I’m not sure what I’ll end up doing.
The husband leaves for a last minute trip on Saturday (he’s going to a conference that he wasn’t able to go to when we still planned to visit friends in LA). I’m kind of looking forward to him being away and having a little more space. When I get back to work it will be yearbook, yearbook, yearbook until mid May.
And with that I guess I’ll press publish. My March recap + April goals post has been sitting, almost done, in my draft folders since LAST Monday (when it was still March), so if I don’t pull the trigger on this it might never go up.
So glad you wrote.
You help my day and it is appreciated.
Have been thinking about your husband as read about layoffs in SF government. Hope the storm passes over head, but know the impact and stress will be massively felt by those who remain for now. It sure sounds like more shrinkage will be happening.
Crossing my fingers you get to take Friday entirely by yourself and just for your own desires and needs. Have been doing the roundabout circle around SF having done the Crosstown and Double Cross walks in last two years. They are fun and you see parts of SF that otherwise might remain mysteries. By the way there is a gorgeous and special view of down town to see from Winding Way on the top part of the divided section! I think you would enjoy the walks but know your time is fully booked and over booked.
It is a hard haul to school year end so do take Friday for just you. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR COMING HERE!!!!
I say show up when you feel it!!! And don’t force yourself to write posts that aren’t fun. We are here to read whatever you feel like sharing, whenever you feel like sharing it 🙂 And I can imagine this time of year is really really hard for teachers – end is not in sight but it’s definitely no longer fresh and new. SUMMER IS COMING!!
I’ve also been feeling blah lately. I don’t think it’s as extreme as what you’re describing, but I do know the feeling. I agree with SHU- just write what you want, when you feel like it.
I’m hoping that you can have a nice day to yourself on Friday and do something… fun? NOT laundry and taking cats to the vet. Hang in there.
I’ve been writing on my blog for over 20 years now, and there have been years (early one) when I wrote daily, and there are years when I have posted a handful of times all year. Like months in between post. This is supposed to be fun, and a place to connect. If it’s not fun right now, maybe take a break. If you come back to it, you can pop by other blogs and comment, people will realize you’re back.
I’m sorry so much of life is feeling blah right now. I’ve been there, and it’s rough.
I’ve had my blog for more than twenty years and it really waxes and wanes. Some months I post once and some months I post daily. Do what seems right. There’s no blogging police. Although, now that I think about it, it would be nice if someone who was not me was able to moderate my comments!
No need to apologize for not showing up. Life comes first and it sounds like you have a full plate and your attention is on other things. I think other bloggers can relate to that.
I can only imagine how the end of the school year drags for a teacher. You are so close to the finish line. I’m truly sorry to hear that things are stressful right now. I’m thinking of you and hoping that you find somethings to look forward to and that ways to resolve your challenges become clear. xo
Hi friend
Absolutely no need to justify. I do miss your updates however and always happy to see a post from you.
Like Engie said above there is no blog police. The blog is for you so use it when you feel like writing.
Hugs!
Daria
Memory is a funny thing – you said, “I have never, in all of that time, seriously considered not blogging.” But I’ve been following you for well over a decade and I can remember more than one time that you contemplated stopping. 🙂
I wonder if you looked back at those times if it was at a similar point in the calendar year…