I knew March was going to kick my ass. It is doing just that.
Only four more days until my spring break. I’m digging in my heals and just trying to get through. Right now four days feels like an eternity.
I deactivated my FB account yesterday. I came to the decision suddenly, and then, surprisingly, I followed through.
I was looking at posts and feeling shitty and it suddenly occurred to me that FB no longer provides me with any positive feeling, let alone one that resembles joy. I’m not quite sure when the shift happened, but as soon as I noticed it, I resolved to shut my account down for a while.
I’m feeling more ambivalent about actually doing it than I expected. Deactivating an account isn’t such a big deal; I can always turn it back on. But it does feel weird not to be connected to others, and the world, in that way. Part of me worries I’ll feel more isolated than before, but I suppose isolation is better than what I was feeling when I was on there, and the reality is, that feeling had nothing to do with connection.
I’m not sure when I’ll reactivate my account, but my guess is I’ll stay off for at least a month. I think I need a reminder of what it’s like to live without FB, to get through a day without scrolling mindlessly, to avoid the sad, empty feeling I get in my chest most of the time that I’m on.
Without FB I’ll be opting out of almost all social media. I haven’t been on Twitter or Instagram in many years. I still read blogs but most of what shows up in my reader is of the “how to” variety these days–very few of the personal bloggers I once read still post anymore. I can always email and text people when I need some connection, and of course write here. Otherwise I’ll be kind of off the grid, as far as consuming content is concerned. I think that will be for the best.
Have you ever taken a break from social media? What was it like?