Yesterday I missed my son’s TK graduation. It was my first big miss as a mom. When I say “big miss” I’m referring to my kid’s perception of the situation. I don’t think a TK graduation is really a thing (TK isn’t even really a grade!) but my son was definitely disappointed that I couldn’t be there and didn’t really understand why I wasn’t.
His school has had a lot of little presentations and events that have required I miss my last class of the day. To do that I have to ask a colleague to give up their own prep period to teach my class. We don’t have enough subs in the district right now so we’re always being asked to cover other teacher’s classes when a substitute should be taking the whole day. That makes it harder to ask a teacher to cover just one class when you have to leave early.
It was the intersection of a lot of things that made it impossible for me to miss my class yesterday. I do believe I made the right decision professionally. But it’s hard to disappoint my kid. And it’s hard to miss this.
I did communicate to his teacher that I probably wouldn’t be able to make it because I’d already had to miss so much work to come to the myriad other events they’d asked us to attend in the past month. Maybe they will take that into consideration when they plan next year’s festivities.
Being a WOTH mom can be really hard sometimes.
Man, that’s rough. I can tell how much you wanted to be there.
He’s so handsome! I can’t believe how grown up he is!
That’s tough. I’m lucky our school didn’t have a TK (or K) graduation. Only 5th grade.
Next week I’m going to an annual conference that I am expected to attend—I went 9 years in a row then had to miss the last 2–last year due to childcare issue—so I really need to go this year. I will miss my youngest participating in the talent show. 😥 I already skipped a different annual conference this year (same expectation) since it conflicted with my oldest’s school musical.
And my kids are always sad when I (or their dad) can’t go on a field trip with them or be at a class party. They see SAHMs who go on every single trip and are there for every event. (IMO there are way too many class part type events.) It’s hard.
Hope Dad made to event.
Parents remember, not being there but I can assure you the child may well not remember either the events you made it to OR the ones you had to miss. NOT that this helps your emotions!
I am very sorry and deeply understand the pain. Walked that road. Super glad you were able to attend other school events of his.
I’m sorry. I feel your pain. I’ve had to miss a couple of things at my daughter’s school this year because I work so far from the school that I can’t just take a half day or leave a little early, I have to take the whole day off. I try to prioritize what I feel is important but it doesn’t always line up with how she feels. Don’t beat yourself up. There ARE definitely too many school activities that parents/volunteers are asked to attend. I only remember my parents coming to things in the evenings when I was a kid…singing performances or plays. They didn’t have events during the day when I was little (I’m not that much older than you). When I have to miss something, I make sure to tell my daughter how excited I am that she gets to do x, y or z and that I can’t wait to hear all about it when I get home. That way, she knows I’m definitely interested and she tries to remember all the little details to share with me. Hugs, mama…we are doing the best we can.
I want to teach my kids that it is OK not have their parents at every events. I tell them ahead of time that my work prevents me from being there sometimes and I show them extra love when I get home on the day I missed the event. Of course, they get disappointed but that is life. My kids are very assured of the love they have from their parents. They need to understand their parents’ work are important to put food on the table. I will move mountains to attend their school events, but if I can’t, they need to learn to accept that. I give them my all to the best extent I can. If I can’t attend all of their life events so be it. So much is asked of us parents. There is no way we humans can possibly do them all. Don’t beat yourself up. Your kids know you love them.