My Oasis

Remember that thing I mentioned in yesterday’s post; my idea for how I could get away, that I can’t actually afford? This is it:

I want a yurt in our backyard. Nothing big or fancy, just a small one–maybe 15 feet across?–that can be my sanctuary, a spot to find calm in the storm. I know our house is not particularly small at 1200 sq ft, but it can feel small when there aren’t any rooms that I can escape to, where the kids will just leave me be. Our bedroom is basically in the living room because the only thing that separates the two is a foldable Japanese shade–sound passes through it like it’s not even there. The kitchen door doesn’t close right, and even if it did, it has glass panes and the kids can see through them (actually there are two glass-paned doors leading to the kitchen, one from the hall and one from the living room). The “sun room,” where we eat, is relatively secluded, but it’s small and dank and really cold in the winter (it has no insulation). Plus the cat’s food and water are in there, so my husband gets irrationally upset when I try to close the door, even for a short while.

There just isn’t anywhere I can get away from for an hour, when I need a break. And since my husband never takes the kids anywhere, I get way fewer breaks than he does. Plus, there is no room where I can work out in the morning, or during the bedtime routine that wouldn’t involve me waking someone up or getting yelled at by the kids at the gate when I’m on the elliptical.

The idea of a pristine, round room in our backyard, where I could do yoga or an exercise video, or just read a book for an hour in the middle of a weekend day, or on a night when I want some time away but don’t have anyone to meet up with (this happens A LOT) is so amazing. We have the perfect space for it, it would seriously be the coolest fucking thing. Of course we can’t afford it, and if we actually saved up a six-month emergency fund before we got one, we wouldn’t be able to get it for YEARS, like maybe a decade. So yeah. That is my thing right now. And it’s never going to happen. But it can sit in my mind, with the electric-assisted cargo bike we can’t afford, in that space reserved for wish-we-coulds, until it eventually fades away.

(This is much bigger than what I’m envisioning, but it’s the closest approximation that I could find.)

I know, I know. I’m fucking crazy. And I always want absurd shit. I’ll get over it. I just think it would be such a nice way to deal with so many of our problems. It’s fun to daydream.


  1. I adore yurts and have always wanted one!

    I totally understand about wanting your own space. Our house is tight on space too, and “my space” is my side of the bed, night stand, and a little corner I’ve made into a “crafting space (it’s really about two foot square).

    Perhaps there’s a compromise you could make? A shed that you could fix up and make yours? A lawn chair/table and umbrella that is only for your use in the yard?

    In the meantime, daydream away. Nothing wrong with those.

    1. Ha! I appreciate knowing I’m not a total weirdo for wanting one. I’ve been day dreaming about one for about a year, but it’s only been in the past couple months that I’ve really upped my daydreaming game. 😉 I also only have my side of the bed as a space for me, which would probably be okay if there were four solid walls in my room. Oh well, such is life.

  2. That would be such an awesome idea! I wish there were some way you could do it. Our house is really small, too. I feel like open floor plans are very “in”, but I really like the fact that ours is not open at all. It’s easier to get away. Plus we use the basement a lot, which helps.

    1. Having a basement would be amazing. I was so hoping we could move into our downstairs some day, but that is never going to happen.

    1. It would definitely be cold in the winter. I was thinking that this morning. I don’t think it would get very hot in the summer–we live in a foggy, windy area of the city, so I think it would stay relatively cool. But yeah, in the winter it would be chilly. I could probably do workout videos in the evenings, but not yoga. And the mornings it would be too cold to do anything. That is important to remember.

      1. When dreaming it is important to dream big: heated floors in yurt. Then, when being realistic, picture the PG&E bill ~ total reality check. THEN LAUGH because you don’t have to pay That Bill.
        Keep dreaming and go to your yurt in your mind.
        Sending light and laughter wishes!

        1. Haha. I like that idea. I shall go to the insulated, yurt of my mind, complete with wood burning stove, fairy lights and mood music. 😉

  3. what a lovely daydream! I wish you could make it come true, in some fashion.
    having a space I can escape to is SO SO key for me. Its not enough to just go in another room, I need to go to our 3rd floor bedroom, close the door, and turn on a fan for white noise. THEN I can really feel like I’m “free” and can relax. There is really no where in our house I can go do a workout video myself (there is barely any room in our bedroom around our bed) in the winter. Our basement is FREEZING cold, just, unbearable in winter.

    1. Yeah, there really is no where in my house to escape to. It’s just not a big house, and the way it’s laid out, there isn’t much privacy (ironically, the kids can have it, but we can’t). Even with our white noise machines, there is just so much noise, I really can’t get away. And if the kids know I’m home, they seek me out. They don’t do that with my husband, and it drives me CRAZY, because he just doesn’t understand how hard it is. Even if I’m sick, they won’t leave me alone. Ah for a moment of peace!

  4. Do you have a garage? Not sure how common those are in SF… We park our cars in the driveway. We have a spin bike (and various things being stored) in our garage.

    I often use our bathtub as my oasis…but I try not to take too many baths due to the water shortage.

    Our house is just under 1300 ft2 but we can close our bedroom door, do at least there’s that…

    1. We do have a garage, but we can’t really park our car on the street as the neighborhood has a lot of driveways and the spaces between them aren’t big enough for cars. Unfortunately BOTH my neighbors have GIANT trucks, so they are always using the space on either side of my drive way, so I can’t park there.

  5. I want a yurt too. Genius idea and I hope you can create your own space somewhere (I like the idea of a “she-shed” for crafts and the like, but a yurt is better). You can insulate your yurt and/or get a small heater for it. I have friends who live year-round in snow country in a yurt and are very pleased with it.

    1. I know. It would be so, so cool. Maybe some day.

      What is frustrating is that I think I will be able to afford this stuff, some day, when we no longer need it. Like, we probably could afford to move into our tenant’s unit, but by then our kids’ would be going to college soon, and it doesn’t make a ton of sense to take on more space when they are about to leave… Blerg.

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