Perimenopause confirmed?

Actually, I think it’s not.

Confirmed I mean. The perimenopause.

I don’t fucking know.

How exactly am I supposed to know? I rarely got my period, without the help of hormonal contraception, in my 20s. I’ve had an ablation*, so even if I were menstruating, I shouldn’t be bleeding much, if at all. If the hallmark signs of perimenopause are wonky cycles, how does a person who already had wonky cycles determine when they are newly wonky?

If someone has boiled their uterine lining away, how are they supposed to tell what their cycles are like at all?

But I was pretty sure I was starting perimenopause. And now I’m pretty sure I’m not. I think I actually supplemented my way back into cycling. That may seem insane, but I supplemented my way into more regular cycles when I was trying to conceive. B-vitamin and Chaste Berry (Vitex) lengthened my cycles from 18-21 days to 26, which was a huge difference. And I’ve been taking B-vitamin again to manage perimenopause symptoms. And the perimenopause supplement I got has Chaste Berry too, so I’m kind of taking what I used to take when I was trying to get pregnant. Maybe its enough (with my diminished ovarian reserve) to get me cycling again.

Because I do seem to be having pretty regular cycles this calendar year. Every 18-20 days I have light spotting for 2-3 days. This past cycle was almost 27 days, and the spotting has lasted for 4 days so far. Which is long for me. This is exactly what it was like when supplements helped stretch out my cycles when I was TTC. Is that what’s happening now? Or is this just the stage of perimenopause I’m in right now? I honestly don’t know, and I don’t know if I’ll ever know.

And maybe it doesn’t matter. If managing perimenopause is about managing symptoms, and the worst ones have faded (I haven’t had a true night sweat since the new year), that’s really all that matters. I, of course, would love to hold off early menopause for a number of reasons (bone density being my biggest concern). My RE said I’d be in menopause by my early 40s, but he didn’t know how much my cycle loves a B-vitamin boost!

I don’t freaking know. It’s frustrating to again be confused by my reproductive system, which literally never worked right. It’s frustrating to have the medical establishment just shrug their collective shoulders and turn away. But it’s not surprising, and as I have before, I can keep looking for my own answers to the questions Western medicine deems unworthy of a response.

If anyone has gone through perimenopause or menopause and has any suggestions, I’d love to hear them. Thanks for sharing anything insights you can!

*I got an ablation several years ago because my organ prolapse was so bad that I can’t wear a cup or tampon for protection (when your cervix sits literally at the vaginal opening, there is no where for it go to but out!) and even though my period was light and short, it still made swimming really difficult in the summer. And since I love to be in the water, my doctors agreed an ablation made sense. I had no bleeding for about two years after the procedure, but in the past few years I have spotted (very lightly) when I’m cycling. My pessary, which I wear always (I only take it out when having sex), also helps manage my light flow.

4 Comments

  1. What do your docs say about removal of prolapsing organ and then using steady state hormones? I am not current on options and know everything has consequences and it can be VERY hard to predict what the side effect will actually happen from any intervention. Does not sound like a simple answer exists.
    Not asking you to answer the first question. Steady state hormones were impressive for me but think you may have reasons why that might not be wise for you. Also, keeping estrogen available is good for tissues and avoiding many problems as one ages. (See Dr. Ashley Winter M.D./urologist writes on Twi**er.)
    Perimenopause can be extremely variable in impact both between individuals and across time for each individual for no predictable reason. Keep up vitamins/supplements if that seems to be helping you.

  2. I just turned 42 and need/want to educate myself a bit more. My family was always very secretive about anything that comes to the female body: menstruation, getting pregnant, giving birth, menopause. While for boys in my family, it was perfectly acceptable to scratch their balls in front of everyone. I want to break the cycle. My 5-year-old saw me during the period, she goes “why do you have a napkin in your peepee? Are you hurt?” Me “no honey, this is something all women go through.” Anyway, I’m rambling but wanted to say I read your update and will look into supplements for myself, too. I still have regular cycles though. But I want to be educated, ready, and ready to accept when perimenopause happens.

  3. Woah. I didn’t know a cervix could sit so low. I imagine that would make sex extremely painful?

    1. Polly…. they can actually prolapse to the point of extruding (think of baby head ‘crowning’). It can also be pushed back up …this can case other problems and is why a pessary is often used to hold it higher up. A good reason for use of Vag Estrogen and Kaga*s. This is partly about pelv** floor muscles but can also involves the ligaments that suspend the vessel in place. Some pregnant people mention round ligament discomfort as these stretch in pregnancies…. those are the ones in question. Anyway when pelvic floor isn’t in good shape it can also lead to incontinen** issues as people age. Lots can go wrong….. . It is not simple. Glad you asked about the issue.

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