When rest is out of reach

Monday night my husband came home sick. He went directly to bed, while I made dinner, took out the cans, emptied the trash, recycling and compost into the cans, did bedtimes, washed dishes and prepped for the next morning.

And then I woke up and did everything that needed to be done again.

I found myself being kind of snippy with my husband, which I didn’t like. He clearly wasn’t feeling well, and I wanted him to have the time he needed to get better. But I was also deeply envious of his ability to just climb into bed and know that everything would get done, and to simply call into work the next morning and explain that he wouldn’t be there.

As a teacher, taking a day off is the biggest pain in the ass. I can’t just call in one morning and say I’m not going to be there. Missing a day requires hours of writing sub plans, and many times I actually need to go to work to set things up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dragged my sick-as-a-dog ass to school in the wee hours of the morning to get ready for a sub, a sub I wasn’t even sure would show. I had to write a week’s worth of sub plans while I was in labor, when my daughter came two weeks before she was due (which was supposed to be a week after the school year ended).

It’s similarly impossible to really take time off as a mother. My kids have crashed almost every sick day I’ve taken since they were born, meaning they wake up sick when I’m staying home sick and I end up spending the time I should be recuperating taking care of them. If I am so sick that I really can’t do everything I usually do, the vast majority of the work is waiting for me when I feel better. The idea of taking a day off to rest and recuperate is a foreign concept for me — the work I have to do before and after makes it end up in a wash.

I’m definitely hitting a wall right now, and am desperate for a little time to rest and catch up. It’s not going to come for a while, probably not until the winter break, and until then I have to keep on moving forward. For me there just isn’t another option. And that’s why I seethe with envy as I watch my husband take the time he needs. I wish it were that easy for me.

What do you do when rest feels out of reach?

5 Comments

  1. I have to admit I also get a bit irritated (ehm…probably an understatement) when my husband is sick. I think it’s rather normal reaction when you have kids and a busy life.

  2. Man colds are so infuriating. The moaning and groaning is enough to send me into a seething tailspin of frustration. I am not sympathetic to most man colds, and Brian has learned this. He has come to the realization that the mom doesn’t really ever get a sick day, because it’s not like he’ll stay home to watch the kids on a work day while I rest in bed to get better. Knowing that, her rarely stays home sick. He’ll work from home sick, but staying in bed is not an option unless he’s dragged his ass to the doctor first to DO something about his man cold. I JUST CANNOT TAKE IT. 😂

    If he ever came home sick and went straight to bed without helping me with the kids as best he could, he would die in his sleep that night. 😂

  3. Understanding. Good luck. Hope he improves soon. Hugely hope he doesn’t share his germs and make you sick over this weekend!

  4. I have been sick all week, no fever but a terrible cold with a sore throat and ear pain. I wanted to take off work more then once this past week but did not want to deal with writing sub plans. Incredibly thankful to have today, Friday off even though I am home with three kiddos. My kids slept a little later and so did I. I also managed to take a short nap while they napped but all of the stuff that I should have been doing is waiting for me.

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