Shit, Meet Fan

Last night, the shit really hit the fan for me. I am now facing a reality I had always feared, but hoped I could avoid.

I hate to be purposefully vague, and I promise it’s nothing in the realm of really-and-truly-horrible (ie job loss, terminal illness, death in the family, entire community devastated by fire), but still, as far as shit things go, it’s gotta be at the top of the next level down in seriously awful shit. I’ll tell you all more about it when I can type the words without crying (and I stop feeling so much shame).

Right now I find myself in a trifecta of overwhelm, as it’s coming from work (catching up after being gone, nothing planned for the next few weeks, so many assignments to grade and input), PTA (SO MANY EVENTS coming up, and I have to be at all of them, also preparing things for them–why is EVERYTHING in October?!) and home (see above shit-show-that-shall-not-yet-be-named, also son’s 4th birthday, also my in-laws are gone for THREE WEEKS this month).

I don’t think I’ll be writing much in the coming days. I do have a Disney trip post that is almost done, and I want to write another about what I wished I’d done differently, along with what I felt we did right. Maybe those will make it out next week.

If not, forgive me. And either way, wish me luck. I’m going to need it.

9 Comments

  1. Sending deep caring and wishes that things ease and become clearer offering solutions that are happy.
    Keep breathing in and out evenly. Eat regular food at regular times every day, sleep regular hours in regular places every night, go out side every day to recreate and see one thing that is beautiful every day (it may be as simple as the line of a tree branch or children at a playground. In time there will be change and clarity. Until then, know we are all supporting you, caring deeply, and thinking of you; you are not alone. We will hope to hear from you, but there is no pressure only support.

  2. So sorry to hear this. What sometimes helps me (a little) is drinking something hot. Even just hot water with lemon. You will get through this.

  3. I have been reading for several months, appreciating your openness and honest look at parenting, working, and managing of life.
    I am wishing you strength and love to be your guides through the challenges you have right now.

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