The post that won’t upload (and apologies for my unannounced absence)

I did not mean to be gone for so long, but this week kicked my ass. Hard. There just ended up being way too much to do. Some of it was my fault for actually taking a break last week, but other stuff was not on me. 

And of course the news had me anxious and rattled. I’m not trying to make it about me, just acknowledging that it played a part in me not showing up here.

Our trimester ends today, and I’m ready to start fresh next week. I really hope next week is a lot less hectic than this week was. I can’t manage another week like this one for a while. 

It sucks that when I really let myself rest, shit accumulates to the point that I pay for it later. Sometimes I wonder if the rest is worth it, when what comes after makes me so much more exhausted than I would have been. I don’t know what the right answer is. Maybe we just never get to feel truly rested, at least not during this “season” of our lives. 

I say all this knowing that things are so much easier now than they were when my kids were younger. I don’t know how I got through those years. When I look back at what I managed… it makes my head spin.

{…and I wrote this on my phone last night but it wouldn’t upload. Which is exactly the kind of week I’ve been having! Things just aren’t working like they are supposed to and every time that happens it compounds into a time suck of exaggerated proportions. I couldn’t fall asleep last night until after midnight but I was up at 5am so it’s going to be a looooong day. I need to implement some concrete anxiety management ASAP or I’m not going to get through the final trimester.}