Last weekend we spent a day in Alameda and about half way through I realized what a lovely time I was having. It occurred to me then that my husband could have planned the day we were enjoying as a date for just the two of us, but instead we were all able to enjoy it as a family. We weren’t just engaged in a bunch of kid activities that were pleasant enough ways to pass the time, but instead were doing things we actually enjoyed.
It was the kind of day that I dreamed of when I wanted so desperately to be a parent.
This weekend wasn’t quite so idyllic. Saturday was fine – my son went to a kids-day at the DeYoung Museum with a friend while I took my daughter and her friends to a Crystal Fair. On Sunday, I accidentally locked my husband and kids in the backyard and then went for a run. They ended up stuck out there for two hours. I felt HORRIBLE. Luckily we had nothing else planned that afternoon so it didn’t mess up the rest of the day, but I continued to feel absolutely awful about it.
As things open up and we start doing stuff again, our weekends have taken on a certain rhythm. A rhythm I’m getting quite found of. Not every weekend is great, but most of them are pretty good, and even though a lot needs to happen between Friday afternoon and Sunday evening, we end up having some fun too.
I thought I’d document, for my own recollection later on, the current rhythm of our weekends.
FRIDAY
Prep at work. My son plays soccer on Friday afternoons, and he is able to participate without me bringing him there, so I take advantage of Friday afternoons to stay at work and get some stuff done. Most other days I have to book it pretty quick, so I don’t really mind staying on Friday afternoons. Also, no one is on campus and I have free reign of the copy machine! I also appreciate having a moment to plan the next week and get what I need ready before Monday.
Errands. I also usually take advantage of the extra time on Fridays to run an errand or two on the way home. Sometimes it’s Costco. Sometimes it’s PetCo. Sometime’s is the grocery store. But almost every Friday I stop somewhere on my way home.
Wash masks. The masks my son, husband and I use need to be hand washed, dropped in boiling water, and then hung to drip dry. They generally need the whole weekend to dry, so I have to get them washed on Fridays. It’s a whole process, and I won’t miss it when I don’t have to do it anymore (which may be sooner than I expected?!)
Laundry. I try to do laundry during off peak hours (9pm to 4pm), which means I do almost all our laundry on the weekends. I prep it all Friday night – sorting it into the Costco bags I use to transport it to and from the laundry area – and wash my son’s load starting at 9pm on Friday. I usually just leave his clothes in the dryer to fold them on Saturday morning because the load isn’t done until around 11pm. I do two more loads on Saturday morning and another two loads on Sunday morning. Sometimes I squeeze on in on Saturday night too.
Sleep over (daughter) + video games (son). My daughter spends the night at my in-laws house pretty much every Friday. My son comes home after soccer and gets to play video games with his dad (he would also get to have a sleep over with his grandparents, but chooses not to. He gets to spend one weekday afternoon with them every week.)
Movie. My husband and I try to watch a longer movie on Friday nights because our son gets to bed a lot early than our daughter and we have more time when just he is home.
SATURDAY
Chores. I usually do chores on Saturday morning. What those chores are depends on what needs to get done. I usually spend about an hour doing stuff around the house before getting my son ready for martial arts.
Martial arts. My son and I try to make it to the dojo on Saturday morning for class at 10am. So far we’ve been making it about half the time. My son’s class starts 30 minutes before mine, so my husband comes to pick him up. I drive the car down, and my husband takes the bus to meet us, and drives the car back. I take the bus back when I’m done. Sometimes I just stay for one class and am back around 12:15. Sometimes I stay for sparring and then I’m not back until almost 2pm.
Library. We frequently hit up the library on Saturday, because it’s closed early on weekdays and not open at all on Sundays. We get A LOT of books from the library, and we have to put a lot of them on hold, so most weeks we have to stop by there at least to pick up the hold books. It’s a very quick walk from our house – I love the library!
Outing. We usually do something on Saturday afternoons. Sometimes we do it as a family (after our daughter comes back, and sometimes we get together with friends. My husband is the one who plans most of the family outings and I plan most of the stuff with the kids’ friends.
Movie. My husband and I try to watch another movie on Saturday night. Sometimes we just watch a show.
SUNDAY
Morning video games. The kids play video games in the morning on Saturday and Sunday, but Sunday they are both home for it. Sometimes they play together, which is great. Most times my husband plays something with my son. I usually use this time to sleep in and/or do chores around the house.
Bath time with Bilbo. My daughter and I usually give her bearded dragon a “bath” on Sunday mornings. We put warm water in a big tub out in our driveway and let him swim around in the sun. We used to do this in the backyard but the backyard gets very little sun this time of year, so we’ve been doing it in the front. It’s funny to see the people walking by, wondering what we’re doing with a lizard in a big white basin full of water. It feels very “San Francisco” of us.
Run. I usually run on Sunday “morning” and I’m putting “morning” in quotes because I never seem to get out the door before 11am which means I’m never home until 1ish. I don’t run for two hours or anything, but its a 10ish minute drive to the park, then I have to get ready and stretch, then I run for about an hour, then I have to stretch and drive home. I always start later than I intend to and it always takes longer than I expect, but I always feel great doing it.
Outside time. We usually don’t do our big weekend outing on Sunday, but I always try to get the kids out of the house for at least a couple hours. Some mainstays are the park with a friend, or walking to a great shaved ice place and then eating the shaved ices at a nearby park. Sometimes we just walk to a spot to get boba tea or some other treat.
Lunch Prep. The kids prep the non-perishable parts of all five of their lunches on Sunday. We have enough Bentgo containers for them to prep the whole week. I finish up their lunches with the perishable parts each morning before I leave for work. I know they should be doing all their lunch prep at this point (at least my daughter should), but right now this feels like a good first step. They’ve been doing this all year, and it’s been a great lesson in “the thing you dread doing is rarely as bad as you think it’ll be.” They are even learning to get it done earlier in the day, because they hate having to do it later.
Family movie. We frequently watch a movie on Sunday afternoons/evenings. Sometimes I make pretzels, and if not, I make popcorn. The kids get to drink a soda. Last weekend we watched The Sandlot, which they loved. This weekend we rewatched Sonic the Hedgehog, which was better than I remembered. We don’t have too hard a time finding something because we have similar tastes (and we have pretty much every streaming service). My daughter struggles with movies, and a lot of times she leaves to read comics or something. If we don’t watch a movie we play a board game or Dungeons and Dragons. We play card games most weekday nights too.
And that is what are weekends are like these days. We’ve found a nice rhythm and I like it. It’s nice to enjoy the weekends; I remember that when they were younger Saturday and Sunday were a loooong 48 hour stretch. Now they seem much more relaxed and enjoyable, and I don’t take that for granted.
What are your weekends like these days?
I’m confused how you can get locked in your own backyard? Is there not a gate to get out? And apparently your husband didn’t have his cell on him? That’s honestly pretty funny!
Your weekends sound like they have a great rhythm! Ours definitely depends on the time of year, but right now usually Friday evenings we have friends over for dinner and drinks and music. Saturdays are usually our ski day (though my husband hasn’t been joining this year, which is annoying, so I take the kids myself and we are usually gone 10-4 and my husband works or does errands). Saturday nights are either sleepovers with friends (we often split and have one kid here with a friend and one kid elsewhere so they get sibling-free time) or family movie night. Sundays we hang out, maybe go to town (the bigger town 30 minutes north of us) to grab lunch and get groceries, maybe go bowling or swimming at the rec center or something. Oftentimes the kids will go up to my in-laws on Sundays as well and spend the night, so they get time with their grandparents and then just take the bus to school Monday morning. That’s been really nice because then Charlie and I can get some work done for the concrete company and have “us” time and feel ready for the week. Overall it’s pretty chill!
Our house touches the neighboring houses, so the only way out of the backyard is through the two doors that go into our house. One of those doors has a deadbolt (that I locked when I left, out of habit) that we don’t have a key for (but we haven’t changed it because we never need to lock the dead bolt from the outside, we only lock it from the inside). And the other door has a chain on it and the chain was locked. So even though my husband randomly had his keys in his pocket, he still couldn’t get inside the house. And yes, his phone was charging in our bedroom – they could see it sitting there (through the window) but couldn’t get at it.
San Francisco homes I have known. (One in the family right now in fact!) Made total sense to me and I can understand how MANY people in other areas would totally not picture that backyard. Such yards often makes me think of houses in London. For those who do not know such yards I am glad you described it and think you did an excellent job of that.
In time it will become a funny story….. but no idea how LONG a time it will take in your family. My kids would totally adore reciting that story on me! A rare situation where a key in a fake rock could make a difference. In the future. But it might be a decade before it would be needed …
The best parts of my weekends are the parts spent with grand child. We cook together or go for big hike and sometimes I get to go to one or the other of her sport/activity lessons.
Your weekends sound wonderful and I am very impressed by all you do and the way you manage time for joint and individual time. Your family really is at the age point where that is easier to manage but also takes a LOT of organizational thought and cooperation on your and your husband’s side.
What a great view for running!
I live in Nova Scotia (Canada) and this winter has lasted forever. I tried treadmill running for a while, but I just couldn’t do it. Ugh. So I’m waiting for the ice to melt and the sidewalks to clear and then I’ll ease back in to running. I really wanted to keep my fitness up over the winter (I HAVE walked outside every single day since January 1st), but it just wasn’t worth the suckiness of running on a basement treadmill.
And bathing the bearded dragon = so cute.