It’s hard to get on the elliptical machine in the evenings after picking up the kids. Instead I’ve been trying to run once a week before I pick them up. This requires I change at work and leave almost immediately, but when I can make it happen I am so happy. I always feel amazing after I run. I definitely get that endorphin high. The beautiful scenery and gorgeous weather are icing on the cake these days.
It’s good to be running again.
Sunday afternoon I had the great honor of running along side my daughter, trying to keep her from falling off her bike as she shakily attempted to ride it for the first time without training wheels. Back and forth across the deserted black top she rode and I ran.
She did a great job. She never did manage to ride without me holding her up, but she tried over and over again, never getting frustrated or despairing, never asking to quit. We stopped, rested and started again. When she did manage to pedal a few times without me holding her so carefully, she was elated.
I was so proud.
And even though we left without that victorious moment when I let go and she rode away from me, a shiny new skill acquired, it felt like a parenting rite of passage.
I never gave much thought to teaching my kids how to ride a bike. It was not one of those parenting moments I was waiting to cherish. But in the end, it is something I will hold close and remember forever. Just like I’ll never forget the day she rides away from me without looking back.
I left the playground with a feeling of profound satisfaction, not because we had manage to get my daughter on her bike, but instead because I was reminded yet again how much more I like parenting these days, how it finally seems to fit me in many of the ways I expected. I always loved little kids, and caring for them was my job for over a decade, so I was surprised (and somewhat terrified) when parenting babies and toddlers was not the wondrous experience I was expecting. When, in fact, I didn’t seem to enjoy it much at all.
But in much the same way I sensed, when I was an unhappy teen and dissatisfied twenty-something, that I’d be more content as I got older, I guessed that parenting older children would fit me better as well. And I was right. Every year my daughter gets older and I enjoy parenting more. Now we can do all the things I was so excited to do together. Now we can share the books and the movies I couldn’t wait to read and watch again. Now we can have the conversations that make me think and feel profoundly. Or just laugh really hard at something hilarious.
I am thankful every day that I’m mostly passed the toddler years. My son still has his moments, and I have to remind myself a lot that he’s only four (he’s easily the size of a five or even six year old), but even he is growing up, and soon both my kids will be school aged, and life will be glorious.
Or at the very least, a lot more fun.
Which season of life have you most enjoyed?
This will be a super disjointed post, but I’ll keep out the bullet points, even though really they should probably be there.
Thank you all so much for sharing your success stories about astigmatism and contacts. I’m confused that I thought it was only recently (like last 10-15 years) that there even existed contacts you could use with astigmatism when it’s clear people have been correcting astigmatism with contacts for DECADES. I was clearly very misinformed. I’m going to look around for an optometrist office that specializes in fitting contacts for astigmatism, mostly because I am not a huge fan of the last eye doctor I went to at all. I highly doubt she will be able to help me. I hope to go in at some point this summer.
It’s super hot in SF right now. Like warm-for-the-summer hot (which for us is the mid to high 70’s) and it’s really throwing off my understanding of what time of year it is. How is it only the first week of February, and I’m hot in my jeans and a T-shirt? Talk with extended family about when we’re going to my uncle’s farm this July is not helping me remember that it’s technically still winter.
My daughter continues to do really well. She’s flexible and even helpful a lot of the time. Every time she responds to something in a much more positive way than I’m expecting, I’m reminded how exhausting it is to deal with kids that have melt downs or argue over EVERY SINGLE THING. A lot of the time I wonder why I seem to handle parenting so much worse than most people, especially when it was something I so very much wanted to do, and then my daughter has a stretch of amazing behavior and I realize that my experience really is different than a lot of people’s.
I’m not saying I have it harder than all other parents, because I KNOW I do not, but my kids really are NOT easy going. They really do react in a challenging way to MOST things. Getting them to eat is hard. Getting them to transition can be IMPOSSIBLE. We still have to physically move our daughter through EVERY STEP of getting ready and out the door (she is so distracted she literally can’t finish one step and start another with multiple reminders from an adult who is physically near by) and usually each step is a battle. Right now she moves through the steps willingly, instead of throwing her body on the floor and shrieking, or flat out refusing until you dangle something she wants as a reward. If I could just say, please get dressed and my kid would do it, that would be amazing! If I could ask my kid to use the bathroom without a 5 minute negotiation ensuing, my life would be a lot easier (also, who doesn’t want to go the bathroom for the first time THREE HOURS AFTER WAKING UP?!). If I didn’t have reason to be SUPER excited my kid will now eat a peanut butter sandwich (which brings our grand total of acceptable sandwiches to ONE), life would be different. (Did I mention I have to peel my son’s hotdogs right now, lest he spit EVERY bite out instead of swallowing? Because that has been a requirement for a while now.)
I still believe that I don’t handle the frustrations of parenting as well as most people, but I also firmly believe that my experience parenting is more challenging that most people’s. I need to cut myself some slack.
I really hate selling Girl Scout cookies. Like really, really loathe it. That is all.
I’m realizing how much work I have to do to make the house ready for guests this summer and it’s A LOT OF WORK. The entire house has fallen into varying degrees of disarray. Even the “not so bad” rooms are objectively pretty bad. They only don’t seem so bad in comparison to the really bad spaces. I need to get on this “house project” as I’m calling it, and soon.
I guess there isn’t much else to report at the moment. I suppose I’ll sign off. I hope you’re all having a good weekend!
I’ve had astigmatism in my left eye since 6th grade. It keeps getting worse, but it never mattered much because my right eye was fine. I could see well even without my glasses.
But my right eye is astigmatic now too. Not nearly as bad as my left, but it’s definitely noticeable when I don’t wear my glasses. Sure I can see, but not very well. There is lots of squinting, getting closer, making fonts bigger on my phone. There is a lot of cursing when I’ve realized I’ve forgotten my glasses at home.
I’m realizing I basically have to wear my glasses every day now, and I don’t love the idea. I never considered contacts before because I know it’s complicated with astigmatism. Also, mine is on a diagonal axis, and I’ve been told I’m sensitive to the position of my lenses (if they are even slightly off, things don’t look clear). Both these realities diminish my chances of finding success with contacts.
So I’m still pretty sure contacts won’t be right for me, but I wonder if I should try them out. I really don’t love the idea of wearing glasses every day for the rest of my life, and I’m a pretty big fan of seeing things clearly so… maybe I should give them a try?
Do you have contacts with astigmatism? Do you know someone who does? I’d really love to hear any experience of contacts correcting astigmatism: what worked and what didn’t. Any information you could share would be much appreciated.
I’m sick, but unable to take off of work to recuperate, so bullet points it is.
~ My son has been quite sick this week, but my in-laws are miraculously in town and have taken him two out of the last three days. It is so nice to have them back.
~ But it’s also bittersweet because they leave in two weeks with one-way tickets to Texas. We’re not sure when they will be coming back. I have complicated feelings about this that I haven’t taken the time to untangle. My husband has even more complicated feelings about this, which he will probably never attempt to untangle. Our kids are just really, really sad.
~ Work lately has been… surprisingly reasonable. Not sure why, maybe because we’re still less than a month out from that amazing break. Whatever is making work seem manageable, I’m not complaining.
~ I took my son out twice in the last month to practice on his balance bike and he’s finally getting it. I plan on taking my daughter out on her bike soon. I will be really excited when they can both ride. There are some fun paved bike paths in the area and I’m dying to go for a ride with them.
~ My daughter and I ended up having to sell Girl Scout cookies for THREE HOURS on Monday (kick-off day) and she did amazing. Last year’s attempt at selling GS cookies was a cluster-f*ck of epic proportions, so it made me incredibly proud to watch her rock it this year. She really has come into her own in SO MANY ways. It’s astonishing to see.
~ {I, on the other hand, got shat on by a pigeon – pigeon shit was on my ear, face, glasses, hair, three articles of clothing and in my purse. I didn’t NOT handle it well. This was about half way through the three hour selling spree. It was a REALLY long three hours. I did not do as well as my daughter.}
~ I still give a lot of credit for her turn around to Magnesium. To mine own as well. Right before, and during, the break I fell out of the habit of giving it to both of us, and by the end we were both in foul moods. The whole second week of break we were moody, easily angered, just generally in shit moods. Then I remembered we hadn’t been taking Magnesium and I started us both on it again and the change has absolutely been noticeable. I need to remember to ALWAYS take my Magnesium, and continue giving it to my daughter.
~ My daughter can swallow a Magnesium capsule now! Which makes it SO MUCH easier to give it to her. Before I mixed a soluable powder into apple sauce, which she hated but would take begrudgingly. A couple of weeks ago we tried having her swallow a capsule and now she can take one without any problems. Our magic combination is the capsule in a spoonful of applesauce, plus drinking big gulps of water out of a straw to swallow. It works! And since the dose is higher we only have to take it 3x a week.
~ My son is really enjoying soccer and it’s fun to watch. At this age I don’t have to be out there participating in the games which makes the 45 minutes much more pleasant. He clearly wants to improve and is obviously trying SO HARD to master the skills they work on. It’s awesome to watch.
~ My parents and I went to a comedy show last weekend, which was part of SF Sketchfest (one of my favorite SF events of the year!) It was great to spend an afternoon/evening with them, and I’m realizing that QT alone with them needs to be one of my top priorities. They are both obviously getting older, and I am becoming acutely aware that they won’t always be so active and interested in doing fun things. It’s a new goal of mine to get together with them, WITHOUT my kids, about once every month or two.
Annnd, I have a ton of grading to do so I gotta shut this down. Today is the first day of February. Let’s do this!
I’m so tired of the way I react to certain things. Posts about how great someone’s life is, how over achieving someone’s kids are, how fabulous and fulfilling someone’s job is, how beautiful someone’s house looks. I KNOW it’s not the whole truth. I know life is a nuanced, complicated thing. I totally GET it. And yet I find myself stewing in… I don’t know what. Not self pity. My life is not awful. My life is, in fact, pretty great. I am, actually, quite satisfied. So why do I let this petty shit, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, get me down?
I honestly don’t know. I WANT to know, but I can’t figure it out. I think identifying why something bothers you can be enormously effective in learning more about yourself. If I could figure out why these posts make me feel what I feel (which honestly, is hard in itself to determine – What emotion is this? Envy or jealously toward them? Disappointment in my own life?) then I could work on some obviously deep seated issues. And yet, I can’t seem to manage it. Sometimes I really wish I could find and afford a therapist.
This is clearly a big trigger for me. Social media made me so miserable, I walked away from it and never looked back. And whenever I consider allowing it back into my life, even for something I know would be positive (like creating a new account to participate in a book club that happens only on FB), I ultimately decide I can’t handle it, or just don’t want to try.
I probably have more to say about this but my thoughts lately are so jumbled. Instead I’ll just hit publish, and put this out there, because maybe someone else feels the same way and reading this will make them feel less… I don’t know, alone? Weirdly unable to cope with something everyone else seems to manage just fine? Or maybe I really am the only one who gets bummed out by the “my life is magical!” posts where people have houses and children and husbands and meals that photograph (and write up) perfectly, and I need to just shut up and get over it. Either way, I’m putting this out there. Because my house is a disgusting right now and my kids haven’t been bathed all week (and are yelling at my a lot), and my husband is being a stress case and I made frozen samosas for my dinner last night.
When I first considered traveling abroad with the kids this summer, I assumed I would fund the trip with the money we would be saving by not paying for day care in the fall. Then I did more research and realized the chances of us getting into a TK were pretty much nil, and that the chances of us getting into the pre-school at my daughter’s school were even less (it is a needs-based pre-school so families who make MUCH less than us have priority), so I started reconsidering my options. I do have some extra money that remains untouched from our 125B tax-deferred child care account, but I’m guessing that will be spent on the water damage we still haven’t dealt with (and then some). I’m also not banking on our tax return, especially since I’m one of the lucky ones in a coastal city with high state taxes that will be hit by the new tax bill. So what then? I could try to save, but I don’t think I’d have enough by the time summer rolls around. Luckily, I have a third option.
I plan to AirBnB my house.
How can I do that when I have a husband who won’t be traveling with us. Oh, and a cat?
Good questions.
They will be staying at my in-law’s house. The chances of my in-laws actually being in California this summer are VERY low. Even if they are here, my husband and cat can still stay with them. If they want to leave their condo sitting vacant for a huge portion of the year, that is fine, but I’m going to take advantage of it.
{Also, I feel I should mention that one can AirBnB a house WITH a cat occupying it. The guests just agree to take care of the cat. I’m sure they get a better deal on the house that way. My friends has done this dozens of times–she actually camps all summer so she can make money AirBnBing her house! I just don’t think our cat could handle it. She is not the nicest feline.}
Of course, AirBnBing the house is not a panacea. Getting it ready for paying guest will require a TON of work. But it’s work I want to do (or better said, it’s work I want done), and having a tangible, date-specific reason means I’ll actually do it. There is also the fear that our guests will do something to our house. We don’t have anything that is worth much (and what we do have will be stored at our in-laws, ::cough:: the electric cargo bike ::cough::), but that doesn’t mean damage can’t be done. The thing I’m most worried about is someone bringing in bed bugs. I’m going to look into the guest ratings and see if I can choose who actually rents the place. If I can, I will only pick people who have been scored highly.
So yes, there are drawbacks, but the reality is, living in San Francisco, I can make A LOT of money renting out my house while I’m away (seriously, it’s A LOT of money). Probably enough to finance the whole trip – including airfare).
I think we might even rent it out while we’re in St. Louis. I would use the money to pay for those flights.
So yeah, that’s my plan. My parents have rented out their (much nicer) house on the peninsula many times without problems, and I know many friends who have done the same in the city. We really don’t have anything I am worried might be stolen (only the TV?); the biggest issue is clearing it out enough to be ready for guests.
So, AirBnB it will be.
I’m sure everyone has AirBnB horror stories they want to share. Feel free. I’d much rather be aware of the potential problems. 😉
Wednesdays are my least favorite work day. We have two block days a week this year, and Wednesday is our 2/4/6 day, which means I need to be at work right when then the first bell rings and I don’t get a prep period. Wednesdays are also our minimum day, so there isn’t even a lunch break. It’s basically go, go, go until the end of the day.
It’s stressful enough getting to school on time. My daughter and I have to leave the house 10 minutes earlier than any other day, and if there is traffic I am still screwed. The morning is really stressful.
Then, because my second school starts earlier on Wednesdays (why?!?!) there is only 2 minutes between my last class at the first campus and my class at the second campus. A teacher at the other school covers my class there for 15 minutes, which means that by the time I arrive the students are done with their silent reading and ready to go, whereas I’m a disheveled mess that still needs to set up. This is already my hardest class behaviorally, so starting without a moment to get ready on Wednesday, when the class is 85 minutes long, is really hard.
The icing on the cake of my least favorite day is that 2nd, 4th and 6th periods are my least favorite classes.
So Wednesdays suck, but then Thursdays are awesome. On Thursdays I get an 85 minute prep in the morning and then there is a break, so I don’t start my first class of the day until 10:20! I have one class I like, and then lunch, and then another class I like, then a break and finally my Quest class, which for me is just a Guided Study where I can get stuff done in between quick trips around the room to make sure the kids are being productive.
I do like the block schedule, because it’s nice to have two days where you don’t see every class, and where you have the time to do an activity, or series of them, that requires more minutes. But man, do I hate Wednesdays. Thank goodness they are always followed by Thursdays.
I struggle with delegating work to other people. This has always been a problem for me, in both my personal and professional life. It’s something I definitely need to work on, now more than ever.
This week the PTA board is officially embarking on a 2.5 month effort that will culminate in a four hour fundraising event. I’ve created a series of Google Sheets in an attempt to organize the effort. One of the sheets has a list of weekly tasks. An adjacent column has the beginnings of a list of names by each item. Already I see my own name next to too many things. I know I need to give some of this work to others, but I’m not sure how to do it, especially when people don’t offer to take it on. Do I indicate the tasks that require point people and wait through any amount of awkward silence until someone steps up? Do I ask someone specifically to do something? And once tasks become the responsibility of others, how do ensure they are getting done? I want to do weekly check-ins, and I’m sure everyone will agree that’s a necessary component of the process, but I’m already worried people won’t get their stuff done. How should I handle the inevitable failure to meet deadlines? How do I hold people accountable, while resisting the urge to take on their work?
I hate having to do something I know I suck at, but in this case it’s absolutely necessary. I can’t put on this event by myself. I need help, and lots of it. I hope I can figure this delegating thing out somehow, before it’s too late.
Are you a good delegator? Any tips for someone who needs to learn?
Last night was a success! It was crazy and exhausting and harder than I expected but in the end we raised $570 (a huge amount of money by our standards) and the parents and kids seemed really happy. Most people mentioned seeing us again next month.
And next month our Parents’ Night Out month is on the 9th — Lunar New Year is observed by our district on the 16th and we figured a lot of people would be out of town for the four day weekend — so it’s only three weeks away. We exchanged ideas to make it better (and easier!) next time over group chat last night and will confirm those changes at our board meeting next week.
All in all I’m really glad we did it. In the future we’ll have more people helping (it was one board member’s birthday and another was at Legoland) so it shouldn’t feel so intense. We’ll also have a much better idea of what we’re doing and when so it will run more smoothly.
All in all I’m very pleased, and excited to continue these events. It’s definitely a great way to get the surrounding community to support the school, and to have a positive association with it. Double win!