Not a Wasted Word

This Sunday was super warm in San Francisco (90 degrees), which after a summer during which it barely made it over 70, felt exceptionally warm. We took the kids to the beach on the bay side that overlooks the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz. We go to this beach, even though it’s the farthest away, because it has a nice estuary where the kids can swim in water that isn’t 50*.

Immediately upon arriving we ran into my daughter’s friend and her family (and their other friends). Having friends around made my daughter super happy, and we didn’t have to entertain her at all! That means I got to focus on my sweet almost-three-year-old, who is such a pleasure when there isn’t anyone else (ahem, his sister) around to provoke him. One of the other kids also brought a boogie board, which I used to some success in the freezing bay waves. It was a gorgeous day with friends at the beach, and we all had an amazing time. Lately, these are the days I live for.

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The washing machine repair man came to fix our broken unit. Turns out my nemeses the mice were responsible. They bit through not one, but two hoses, and left their droppings all over the inside of my machine. He originally only fixed one hose, which he assumed was the problem and had ordered ahead of time and brought with him. When he found it chewed up in my machine, he was sure that was the problem and replaced it. When I ran a load later, it was leaking just as badly as before. I texted him to let him know and he actually came back Saturday night to see what was going on. (I should also note, that he ran it before he left, but my machine senses a load before it turns on and without clothes in it I don’t think it actually dispensed water while he was there). He then ordered the other hose and returned on Monday to fix it (charging me only for the part and not for additional labor). I’m fucking pissed at the mice for causing $300 in parts/labor, but am stoked to know we have an appliance guy we can absolutely trust. Silver linings, right?

{And yes, it’s all out war on the mice now. We are no longer taking prisoners. I am terrified the next thing they do is cause an electrical fire. Little fuckers.}

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The book fair is over!!! Holy shit am I glad for that!

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My kids have a dentist appointment this evening and I really don’t want to go. My six year old daughter has only been once, when she was four (yes, I know, I’m a horrible mother) and we were told to floss once a day at the visit, and then promptly never flossed ever (there was no way I was fighting that battle with my sensory sensitive kid every night). My son frequently complains that his “mouth hurts,” but I suspect it’s his throat (it usually happens the night before he wakes up with a horrible cold), so I will appreciate knowing that he doesn’t have any cavities. I just hope we can get through the appointment without some massive meltdowns.

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I’m doing up Día de los Muertos really big this year at school, and I’m pretty excited about it. I used some of my PTA money to get decorations and supplies to make an ofrenda. I’m writing a whole chapter the centers around the holiday and hoping to throw a big festival on the actual day. It should be really fun. I hope the students like it.

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All the Halloween costumes for my family have already been procured. I guess with the stuff being out in stores since August, I was inspired to get it out of the way early this year. I’m excited for the season this year. I can’t wait to take out our decorations and do up the entryway behind the gate. My daughter REALLY loves Halloween and her enthusiasm is contagious. I’m definitely ready for October and all the festivities it brings.

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I’m starting Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone with my daughter. To say I’m excited would be a significant understatement. Starting the Harry Potter series has been on my parenting wishlist for a while now. I really hope she likes it…

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My daughter read her first chapter book. It has a ton of pictures, so it’s not really a chapter book, but she’s pretty excited about it none the less (as am I). She is so close to really enjoying reading on her own. I can’t wait befor her to get there.

{The books she read is The Bad Guys, by Aaron Blabey, which I HIGHLY recommend. So, so entertaining and funny. A great book. We’ll definitely be getting the second one when it comes out in Februrary.}

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I just listened to Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability again for the umpteenth time. I can’t think of another piece that has so profoundly affected me. Every time I listen to it I learn something new about myself and the world. It definitely helps me find myself when I’m stressed and overwhelmed.

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My hip and lower back continue to bother me. I realized it’s probably my very heavy computer bag (which I have to lug between schools and then out to my classroom, which is even harder to get to this year with half our campus under construction) that is causing/exacerbating the problem. I ordered a backpack with wheels, the need for which I find surprisingly upsetting. I don’t know why it bums me out so much, but it does. I just hope that once I have it my lower back stops hurting. The constant pain is becoming very tiresome.

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The multiple nightly wake ups continues. I’ve gotten so little sleep the past few nights, it’s really starting to wear on me. I just wish both my kids would sleep through the night, at least once… I know that one day they won’t need me so much in the nights, but right now that day feels very, very far away.

What little thing are making up your life right now?

The whole purpose of a 196 hour (week) of time tracking is to get a more accurate idea of how much time you spend “a day” doing something. So you add up all the hours you spent at work and then divide it by seven, and I guess it’s supposed to make you feel better about how much you work, because the lower (or lack of) hours on the weekend brings your daily average down. While I recognize the value in that, I’m not sure if I really think it’s okay to work 10 hours one day if you don’t work any hours on the weekend (or get an average of 8 hours of sleep, if on some days you’re only getting four).

I understand the point is not to think of your life in 24 hours chunks, because then it seems impossible to do all you want to do, and a 196 hour period can provide more flexibility. I do see the value in that shift in mindset, but I’d still like to work on making my week days feel more manageable, because by the end of the those five days, I’m usually totally and completely done.

So, what did I find from my crude combining of 15 minutes chunks of time? If my math wasn’t too far off, these were my weekly totals and daily averages:

I slept almost 43 hours during the week, for a daily average of 6 hrs/night. (I was also woken up 7 times– a total of 4 hours “night parenting”–which comes out to about 35 minutes of “night parenting” a night. (I’d love to bring my average sleep number up to 7 hrs/night (with WAY fewer wake-ups), but I manage pretty well on only 6 hours of sleep.)

I was at work for 33 hours and worked from home (or at work on the weekend) 9.5 hours to bring my total work hours to 42.5 and my daily average (this counts the weekend) to 6 hours a day. I’m happy with that.

I enjoyed 10 hours of “me time,” so almost 1.5 hours a day. Not bad when I see it written in black and white, although it feels less substantial when it’s broken into 15 and 30 minute increments.

I spent 33 hours with my kids, which comes out to 4.75 hrs/day over the entire week. 10.5 of those hours revolved around bedtime, which consumes about 1.5 hrs/day of my life. This is the one area I wish I could improve upon; bedtime crushes my soul and I wish I could be spending those hours doing something more fun with my kids.

I spent 8.75 hours commuting to work, so about 1.25 hours a day (over 7 days). Traffic has gotten so bad in the past two years. Ugh.

I only spent 5 hours on chores, and this was mostly prepping meals and folding laundry. I’m sure I missed some of this work, because it happened in short bursts or when I was also with the kids, but it’s not at all surprising to me that I spend less than an hour a day on chores. No wonder my house is a shit show.

There were chunks of time I wasn’t quite sure how to “code,” like the PTA (not represented here at all) and traveling for kid pick up (which I included in “kid time”). There were other little 15 minutes spots I wasn’t sure how to categorize, so I just didn’t include them in this review.

So that is how I spent my time last week. The good news is that some weeks I get even more “me time,” and spend even less time working. Sadly, the nightly wake-ups are not uncommon and I doubt they’ll stop anytime soon. If I had that time to sleep I’d be at 6.5 hours a night, which would be amazing. I’ll just have to try harder to get to bed early, so that time spent “night parenting” doesn’t hurt my overall shut eye so much.

Have you ever tracked your time? What do you think you’d find if you did?

Evidently, the whole point of tracking one’s time is to take a look at the week in total and see how much worked, slept, hung out with your kids, and enjoyed leisure time. I have not yet spent the time to add up these numbers, but hope to do that (and write about it) before the week is out.

As you all know, things are a little hectic right now, but I’m trying to make a concerted effort to take care of myself when I can.

I mentioned in my final time log post that my hip and lower back were bothering me. I think I tweaked my hip on Wednesday when I ran, and it just kept getting worse until I was almost out of commission by Sunday; I could hardly walk at the end of the day, and even sitting was excruciating.

On Monday morning I called my chiropractor and made an appointment for Wednesday. Then I called a family friend who gives massages (at a discount to those who know him) to see if he could get me in before my appointment; I’ve noticed that adjustments are much more productive when my muscles aren’t so tight.

So today I ducked out of my professional development hours a little early (one of the benefits of being the only foreign language teacher) and got a massage (which was more painful than anything because my body is a mess right now–but still totally worth it) and then went to the chiropractor. When he adjusted my hips something deep inside moved into alignment and I immediately felt better. The rest of my back and neck needed some work too, as I’ve been carrying myself in weird ways to ease the discomfort in my hips and lower back.

I definitely feel better, though my body is still very sore. I hope that in the next few days the pain goes away as I start to heal.

It can be hard to take the time (and spend the money) to take care of myself, but sometimes the alternatives are too costly. I have been in a lot of pain, and I needed to feel better. I’m so grateful that I was able to make those appointments–and had the money to splurge on them–so that I could take care of myself when I was hurting.

This week is the book fair at my daughter’s school. I spent two hours (4-6pm) there yesterday and 1.5 hours there today. Friday is my final two hour shift (but we also have to take it down, which will probably take a while). It’s a lot of work, and hectic, but the book fair is an important fundraiser for the school.

September did not end up being the low key month I had hoped for, and October promises more of the same with parent teacher conference at my school and my daughter’s, my son’s third birthday, and Halloween (with all the parties at school and aftercare that entails). I guess I’ll just have to find more ways to take care of myself, even when things get busy.

2:35am – Up with son for an hour

5:45 – Up with son again

6:00 – Do some work, lose it when Word crashes

6:30 – Pack daughter’s lunch and snacks

6:45 – Wake-up daughter, read a book

7:00 – Morning routine: eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, finish making lunches.

7:40 – Drop off daughter at school

7:55 – Drive to work (listen to music)

8:35 – Grab a couple groceries

8:45 – Arrive at work / Prep for day (no class at other campus today! Yay!)

9:30 – Start teaching

1:00pm – End school day / Eat lunch (Our school day ends early on Wednesdays)

1:30 – Prep for rest of week

2:30 – Change into running clothes / Make copies

2:45 – Sneak out early / Drive to trail

3:00 – Run 4 miles

3:45 – Drive home (listen to music)

4:05 – Pick up daughter

4:20 – Pick up son (No biting today! Yay!)

4:30 – Arrive home / Start dinner / Get in shower

4:45 – Grandparents arrive / Get dressed / Finish dinner

5:10 – Leave for Back to School Night

5:20 – Man PTA table

5:40 – Give PTA speech in Spanish

6:00 – 1st grade Back to School Night presentation

6:30 – Take down PTA table / Chat with friend / Drive home

7:00 – Back home / Get kids settled down / Daughter’s HW

7:15 – Son’s bedtime: Milk / PJ’s / Read stories / Snuggle

8:00 – Finish daughter’s bedtime: Read books / Snuggle

8:45 – Eat dinner (that husband made–yay!)

9:00 – Write notes for class tomorrow

10:30 – Pack Thursday and Friday lunches and snacks

10:45 – Snuggle with son who woke up crying

11:00 – Write this post

11:15 – Review lesson plan for tomorrow

11:45 – Go to bed

 

I’m going to attempt to publish my daily time logs, even if they are sparse. I hope it will hold me accountable, and maybe at the end you can help me analyze the ways I can streamline and use my time more wisely.

MONDAY

5:30am – Up with my son

6:00 – Write morning pages

6:30 – Read with my son

6:45 – Wake up my daughter / Read a book

7:00 – Morning routine: breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, finish packing lunches and backpack

7:45 – Drop off daughter at school

8:00 – Drive to work (listen to podcast)

8:45 – Arrive at work / Start teaching

9:45 – Drive to other campus

12:05pm – Work through lunch

12:40 – Start teaching again

2:30 – End school day / Make copies

3:00 – Drive home (listen to music)

3:45 – Arrive home / Change clothes / Get on bike

4:00 – Return / Check-out books at library (for daughter’s homework)

4:20 – Pick up son (talk about attempted biting)

4:30 – Ride bike to daughter’s after care

4:45 – Pick up daughter (talk about not taking art supplies without asking)

5:00 – Ride home

5:10 – Arrive home / Start daughter’s HW

5:30 – Start dinner / Get on elliptical (kids watch TV)

6:15 – Kid’s dinner

6:30 – Finish daughter’s HW

6:45 – Start son’s bath; wash his hair and body

7:00 – Get in bath with kids

7:30 – Shower (without kids)

7:45 – Start son’s bedtime

8:15 – Finish daughter’s bedtime / Start new book

9:00 – Revise story for work

9:30 – Dinner with husband (in front of TV)

10:00 – Create activity for story

10:30 – Get ready for bed

11:00 – Sleep

TUESDAY 

5:45am – Up with my son / Snuggle and read books

6:45 – Wake up my daughter / Read book

7:00 – Morning routine : breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, finish packing lunches and backpack

7:40 – Drop off daughter at school

8:00 – Drive to work (listen to podcast)

8:45 – Arrive at work / Start teaching

9:45 – Drive to other campus

10:00 – Arrive at work / Get ready for classes

12:00pm – Work through lunch

12:40 – Teaching

2:30 – School’s out / Prep for tomorrow

3:00 – Staff Meeting

4:00 – SCTA Meeting

4:30 – Drive home (listen to music)

5:15 – Pick up daughter

5:30 – Arrive home / Start laundry and dinner

5:45 – Daughter’s HW

6:00 – Daughter watches TV while I respond to comments

6:30 – Dinner with daughter

6:45 – Son home from grandparents’ house / Kids in bath

7:00 – Move laundry / Start this blog post

7:30 – Son’s bedtime : Brush teeth / Read books

8:00 – Son uses potty / Wash daughter’s hair

8:10 – Snuggle son

8:40 – Daughter’s bedtime : She read’s a book / I read a book

9:10 – Fold laundry / Chat with husband / Snack

9:30 – Finish blog post

9:50 – Start PowerPoint for tomorrow

10:00 – Snuggle with daughter who is still up (WHY?!) / Fall asleep

10:30 – Wake up / Get ready for bed / Pack car / Schedule blog post

10:45 – Go to bed

Life is kind of kicking my ass right now. Most days I’m just attempting to hold it together. Duct tape and string.

My schedule continues to pummel me. I feel like I need a whole week of prep days just to get where I can avoid spending each period running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I’ll definitely have to take about 8 hours at school this coming weekend or the one after to make copies, score and input, and generally get on top of things a bit.

I have RSVPed for tours at two nearby locations of a Spanish immersion preschool I’ve heard good things about. The problem is that neither of the locations is particularly easy for my husband to get to on public transportation, and the tuition is a full $450 a month more than we’re currently paying (which is already $350 a month more than we were paying for our daughter). It’s a lot of money we hadn’t budgeted for for the next 36 months, but every placeI’ve looked into (that have long enough ours to accommodate our needs) costs at least that much. I’m starting to feel a fair bit of envy toward those that can afford a nanny. Not having to worry about restrictive hours and remote locations would be so helpful.

As far as the need for a new daycare, there was one biting report last week, but my son wasn’t sent home. Evidently he tried to bite someone today but they stopped him, thank god. I really don’t know what to do to help him get over this.

I took him to the pediatrician on Friday and, as I suspected, it was a totally useless appointment. After he made sure there were no hearing or speech issues that might be causing confusion or frustration, he basically told me what I already know, that there is nothing really we can do (that we aren’t already doing), and it sucks to be the parents of the “biter.” Yeah. Tell me about it. I’m supposed to contact Kaiser’s family psych department but I was underwhelmed by them when I took my daughter so I’m not sure I’ll even bother. It’s probably not worth the $25 co-pay and 2+ hours.

So yeah, the whole could-get-kicked-out-of-our-daycare-at-any-time situation continues to create a significant amount of stress. I spend all morning holding my breath, waiting to get a call from the preschool, and then I move at a frenetic pace to get out of work early enough to pick my son up before the second hour on the playground. I hate having no control, at the mercy of my almost-3-year-old’s behavior and my child care providers judgement. It’s incredibly stressful, and it’s eating away at my sanity. I don’t know what we’ll do if we are asked to leave before we have something else set up.

But there are some positive developments as well. My daughter’s homework has gotten much more manageable. There are still a lot of pages each night, but each one doesn’t take 10-15 minutes to finish. I also appreciate that the homework packet is due on Mondays, so we have the weekend to finish up if we get behind.

The AC in my modular at work was fixed. It’s been out for over a week, and with three days in the 90’s, it was really miserable. Classrooms in California don’t generally have air conditioning, but modulars do because they are basically giant metal boxes with no natural air flow. I already had a window fan because I generally try to avoid AC when possible, but it’s wasn’t nearly enough to keep a giant metal box filled with 33-34 people bearable when it was 90* out. The temperature in my classroom was topping out at 95* last week and there were moments I felt like I was suffocating it got so stuffy; I’m REALLY glad we have a working air conditioner again.

I found a new way to get to work that provides a higher chance if on-time arrival (and by on-time I mean within 1-2 minutes of the bell ringing, which is better than 5-7 minutes after it rings, which happened three times last week when the traffic was bad). Thank god I have a co-teacher in that class or I’d be panicking every morning on the way to work.

I started tracking my time today. I’m curious to see what I find, but don’t expect the results to be very enlightening (I think I have a pretty decent grasp on how I’m spending my time). Still, it’s a valuable exercise, especially as I attempt to streamline the tasks that are time intensive. I hope I learn something productive, or see some opportunities to use my time more wisely.

Finally, I’ve noticed that all the stress and uncertainty are really stoking my desire to buy things. It’s very obvious to me that I’m looking for something shiny and new to distract me from everything I don’t want to think about. I’ve kept a decent handle on it, but I’m so tired of rampant consumerism being my go-to way of managing intense emotions. It’s just hard to keep it under control, and I feel exhausted all the time when I’m in the midst of one of these “dreaming of a shopping spree” episodes. I’m just tired of talking myself out of a bunch of unnecessary purchases. It’s redundant and boring and makes me feel bad about myself.

This week is really busy, with a staff meetings at work, my daughter’s Back to School night and the monthly PTA meeting. My evenings are going to be packed, so I probably won’t post again this week. I hope things eventually settle down so I can return to writing (and responding to comments) like I used to. I hate when life pulls me away from this space.