Not a Wasted Word

Health & Well Being/Parenting & Family/Work/Teaching

Five on Friday: Nothing after the colon edition ;)

Posted on August 30, 2024 by noemikjames / 5 Comments

Has it really been a week? I guess it has. And I am struggling to get words down on this screen right now. That is probably why I haven’t come here in so long. It was a busy week. My first full week with students. The kids’ first week back at after school activities. Oh, and I injured myself. Again. Blerg, it’s been a lot. I’m not even sure how I’m going to make this post a “five on Friday.” Let’s see what I got.

Work. The first full week went pretty well. One of my classes is really struggling to meet behavior expectations, and I’m going to have to be very clear and consistent with them this year, but otherwise I’m enjoying my classes a lot. There is a new purchasing process that requires THREE approvals at the district level, and evidently a lot of requests are not being approved. We’re being told to use our PTA stipends to buy general supplies that we should not be spending that money on. It’s creating a real atmosphere of scarcity, which isn’t great. Also, the tech department informed me that, because I teach an elective, they are not responsible for replacing any computers in my Chromecart. They can attempt to fix them, but they can’t give me a computer when one is beyond fixing. Evidently, my site is responsible for that, but our admin has told us that we absolutely do not have any extra Chromebooks or the money to buy Chromebooks. My computers are in horrible shape, so this is a bummer to hear. Wednesday night was Back to School Night, which means I was at work for 13 hours, only to return the next day to my hellish four-block-periods-with-no-prep schedule on Thursday. Friday was a minimum day thank god, because I was fried.

Home. The kids had another good week. Daughter went to swimming three times. It was hard to get there from school on public transport, and she was late twice, but hopefully next week will be better because the light rail tunnel closure will be resolved. In the fall one of the light rail trains will be running again after year(s)-long improvements so that should help too. Son continues to walk home from school without issue, but to argue with me about reading and playing outside once he’s home. He came home from school sick today, but now seems fine. I’m wondering if he just said he was sick to get out of martial arts this afternoon. We made sure he was super bored today, so hopefully it won’t happen again. Husband continues to feel overwhelmed and to seem down most of the time, but this week did seem a little better. Maybe that upward trend in mood will continue!

Reading. I don’t usually write much about what I’m reading, but I can’t not mention The God in the Woods, which I believe I put on hold because Lisa mentioned it (she did list is as a favorite in her “What we read in August” post today, so maybe I’m remembering correctly! A first!) I was totally obsessed with the audiobook. I wanted to listen to it all the time. It was just so, so good. Such a great mystery, and so full of interesting, well-developed, characters. I’m seriously really sad that it’s over. I could not get more than 30 minutes into Sandwich and will probably return it without finishing it. I just can’t stand the book’s narrator, especially they way she talks about her grown children. Oh well. I just started listening to Un Mundo Sin Fin (Ken Follet’s World Without End translated into Spanish), because Jenny keeps talking about Fall of Giants (which I have on Audible and never finished) and has now started Winter of the World. I LOOOOVED The Pillars of the Earth when I read it (maybe 20 years ago the first time) so I decided to read the second book in the Kingsbridge series, which I’ve heard can be read before or after Pillars of the Earth, which is good because I don’t remember much about it at all. I also grabbed Marina, by Carlos Ruiz Zafón from the library today, because it’s his only book that I’ve never read and I adored La Sombra del Viento (The Shadow of the Wind) and the other books in the Cementary of Forgotten Books series. Our book club books is Tommy Orange’s newest book, Wandering Stars, which I started reading a little while ago, but couldn’t get into. I listened to There, There and really liked it, so I’m hoping the audiobook will work better for me than the actual book. (Oh, and this is where I admit that I started I Capture the Castle, but was a week late and could never catch up to the CBBC posts, and then I got busy and I kind of think I won’t finish it, even though I was like it well enough. I guess I’ll just read about the second half on Engie’s blog.)

Injury. Ugh, things were going pretty well, and then I injured myself again. This time it’s my right shoulder. I think I have an ACJ sprain or separation. My shoulder was tender Tuesday evening (after sparring), but I didn’t think much of it. Wednesday morning I noticed how tender it was when put on my bra, but I couldn’t quite figure out what exactly on my shoulder hurt. Wednesday night I noticed my collar bone was kind of sticking out and started googling and quickly self-diagnosed myself with an AC joint injury. Thursday I called the sports medicine desk at Kaiser and made an appointment for next Tuesday (9/10), then I promptly ordered myself some KT tape, because I hope taping it will keep me in the game while I wait to figure out exactly what is wrong. The good news is, I’m not in acute pain. It’s definitely tender and sore, but so far no normal arm motion sets it off. I’m terrified of frozen shoulder though (which is evidently a possibly if I don’t let it heal properly), so I’m fairly freaked out by this.

Exercise. Monday – 30 minute bike boot camp interval + arms with Tunde. Tuesday – Sparring concepts + Sparring. Wednesday – rest (it was 80* down by work, so I didn’t try to run, shower at my parents’ house, then come back. Plus I had already trashed my classroom even though it was only the fifth day with kids). Thurdsay – 30 minute lower body strength with Jess Sims. Friday – 30 minute HIIT run with Jess Sims. Saturday – I’m supposed to stay at the dojo after I teach the teens class, but I may bail because of my shoulder. If I don’t stay I’ll do a 45 minute bike boot camp that doesn’t include arms. Sunday – off (I’ll be with my kids at the water park’s last open day of the season!).

And that’s all I got for now. This post took me longer than I expected, and I was hoping to get some work done tonight. I’m trying to take last year’s school planner and get each trimester’s weekly plans typed into a document for my 1A and 1B classes, so I can use that document to plan this year, instead of carting around TWO school planners. I’m only half way through the first trimester for one class and I’m exhausted just reviewing all we’ll do before Thanksgiving. God we cover a lot. No wonder I always feel underwater…

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Five on Friday: Start of school year

Posted on August 23, 2024 by noemikjames / 3 Comments

Short, but sweet, updates on life.

Work: First few days were fine. I was prepared for Wednesday, but NOT Thursday or Friday. Both days were unpleasant enough that I am determined not to make the same mistakes next week. My classes are a smidge smaller (29-32 instead of 32-35) and I’m glad for it. I have my 1B classes back to back (with my prep period in the middle) which I think will help me achieve my goal of making my 1B curriculum really solid this year. I’ll probably won’t have two 1B classes again for a while (maybe ever) so I want to take advantage of this year.

Kids: My kids had good first weeks at school. Son is doing well walking home. Daughter is feeling comfortable at her big high school and making new friends. She finally got put into Spanish 2 and is staying in Orchestra (violin). Next week their activities start up again (martial arts for son and swimming for daughter). Next week is my first full week with students. Next week will be the real test.

Home: House is a mess, but I’m trying not to let it bother me. Husband has been really underwater at work, which means I’m doing more of his chores, which means fewer of my chores are getting done. At least the refrigerators are moved! And the gross one is not in the way, so we have time to figure out what to do with it.

Exercise: Monday: Taught Basics at the dojo. Tuesday: 45 mins on the elliptical + CG’s Dead Bug workout + 10 minutes arms and shoulders on Peloton. Wednesday: 5 mile run (my first since Hawaii?! It felt weirdly rough). Thursday: 45 minutes full body strength on Peloton. Tomorrow will be Sparring + High + Forms at the dojo. Sunday: 30 or 45 minute bike boot camp.

Fun: I took my son to the new indoor mini-golf spot last Sunday. I didn’t love the new course, but I had fun with my son. I had dinner with my daughter Wednesday and she talked and talked and talked. I’m so glad she still wants to talk to me. I finally finished my slog of a Spanish book right when a bunch of library hold audiobooks came available. I’ll probably watch a movie with my husband tonight. I’m seeing my girl friends tomorrow evening. Sunday I’m taking the kids to swim at my mom’s friend’s house. Next weekend we plan to hit up Great America for the last weekend of the water park.

*Panther, very curious about how her brother is on the TV.*

Parenting & Family/Perimenopause/Work/Teaching

Ups and downs of late

Posted on August 20, 2024 by noemikjames / 4 Comments

Lots of ups and downs lately. Here are a few.

Moving our old fridge downstairs to the unit’s kitchen was a massive pain in the ass. It was a disaster. I couldn’t get the doors off because the bolts at the bottom were stripped, so we had to try to move it through several narrow door ways when it didn’t really fit. We ended up being able to open the doors and slide it in at angles, but each attempt required realizing we had it wrong half way through and pushing it back out to start again. We scratched deep gouges into the floor in multiple places that I’m pretty sure I can’t just buff out (not that I have any idea how to buff out deep gouges). We had to move SO MUCH furniture and other shit, and we even had to take the final door off its hinges. It was just a truly miserable 2+ hours, made even worse by my husbands seething resentment that we were doing any of it at all.

But taking the oldest fridge out confirmed we’d made the right move switching them, because it is covered in rust and mold. I had never noticed how truly disgusting it was, probably because I’ve never attempted to clean it.

So am I glad we took the fridge and did all this? I think so. It was so much work and badly timed right as the school year started, but I’m sure in a month or so I’ll be glad we did it. Right now I just don’t want think about how awful it was for a while (except I do think about it every time I see the deep gouges in the hardwood).

Despite working on my knee flexion daily for the last week I have not been able to replicate sitting on me knees like I did last Wednesday. It’s a bummer and I’m trying not to get too down in the dumps about it. I’ve gone from feeling certain I’d be able to sit on my knees again like I used to, to assuming there will only be some days I can do that. I supposed some days is better than no days.

My lower back pain has gotten pretty bad. I was googling “will I have lower back pain forever” earlier this week and a great many articles suggested that the answer was yes, I would. It used to be I only felt it when I was driving, but now I’m feeling it all the time, and stretching does nothing except alleviate the discomfort in the moment. It doesn’t really provide any real relief. I bought a program to build inner core strength and restore pelvic floor function, so I’m going to finish that before I see a new doctor about it (you may remember, my previous doctor left in May), because I doubt they will offer me more than the anti-inflammatory Rx that I already have numerous refills of.

I can’t really believe that I’m only 44 and am suffering from lower back pain. It’s amazing how much my health has disintegrated since I turned 40. My sleep turned to shit, my eye sight gets considerably worse every year, my periodic lower back pain has become chronic, and my mental function is a mess. If things keep degenerating at this rate I’ll be a disaster by my mid-50s.

Speaking of being old, today I was recognized (among other teachers) at the district’s Back-to-School breakfast for 20 years of service. The last time I was supposed to be recognized (15 years), they decided not to say the names, and I believe when I hit 10 years they also didn’t do it (I remember being LIVID at 15 that they picked my year AGAIN to skip it). Evidently my colleagues were thrown by the fact that I’ve been teaching so long because they were bringing it up all day. I did start fairly young (I was 24) and have stayed in the same place the whole time, so that probably has a lot to do with it. Still, it was kind of nice, after being denied recognition for my last two milestones, to be recognized so much today. 20 years is a LONG ASS TIME to be in the same job, especially when you’re 44. I was trying to figure out when I’ll have been teaching longer than not and I guess it will be when I’m 49 or 50? Because then I’ll have been teaching for 25 years, and wasn’t teaching for 24. That will be crazy.

And now, on to some happier news.

Both kids had good first days back at school. I turned in the proper paper work for our son to leave on his own and he walked home with a friend on Monday and alone today. We’re definitely still working on what the 1ish hour he’ll be alone at home should look like, but I think that will be easier once he’s back at the dojo 2-3 weekday afternoons. I also cancelled our wait list spot with the aftercare program AND was able to decrease my monthly contribution to our Dependent Childcare Account, because I realized that without aftercare this fall, I’ll be about $1K short of the $5K in qualifying childcare costs (our daughter’s summer camps don’t count because she was 14 all summer). I cannot believe we won’t be paying for aftercare at all this school year! I’m SO EXCITED!

I also won’t be taking my daughter to swimming (she’ll need to take the bus and with the extra 15 minutes and the bus line she’s close to, it’s doable) which means most days of the week I get to just DRIVE HOME WITHOUT STOPPING ANYWHERE FIRST. I can’t really believe this. My guess is, it will improve my quality of life significantly, and I am SO, SO EXCITED to not be driving my kids around so much this year. I’m even going to take my son to the dojo on the bus, which I prefer to trying to park in the middle of the Mission. Maybe by the end of the year, he’ll be able to bus to the dojo on his own! (I’m not banking on this, but I bet it’ll be possible).

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is my first day with students. I have my rosters printed, my desks numbered, my turn in baskets and no-name trays labeled and my copies made (for the first few days). I even drew on my windows! (I REALLY did not want to do it this year, but I love my windows catching everyone’s eyes when they’re stuck in traffic in front of my classroom, so I sucked it up and got it done.) My classroom looks good and I feel good about what I have planned for the first three days. I’m honestly kind of shocked I got my shit together as well as I did, since I got in late AND had to leave early both Monday and Tuesday because of my kids’ first days. I didn’t even start actually preparing for Wednesday until mid-Monday and at least an hour of that time was spent looking for a handout I never ended up locating. I obviously still have tons to do, but I’m confident I can get through tomorrow with minimal issues.

I wanted to write more but now it’s late and I need a good night’s sleep. Last night I didn’t remember about the laundry until almost midnight so I had to stay up until 1am to hang my husband’s work shirts. It sucked, and I need to make up some time tonight.

Home/Work/Teaching

How it went (work + refrigerator)

Posted on August 17, 2024 by noemikjames / 6 Comments

The first two days back at work, while managing the new fridge, have been… well you’ll see if you keep reading.

Thursday

On Thursday, I woke up before my first alarm and got out of bed rather quickly. Without kid lunches to make or cats to feed I was ready to leave the house in under 20 minutes.

I’m glad I left early because all the schools I pass that great serious traffic jams, were already in session. I even got a parking spot in front of my classroom and got the final piece of bulletin board paper up before our first meeting.

The before-lunch session was fine. A representative from our new SEL program came and attempted to sell us all on it, then gave us time to explore the site. It looks good. We’ve tried untold numbers of SEL programs and never stuck with one, so I remain skeptical.

Lunch was catered Mexican food, which was yummy. The allotted lunch time was too long though, I would have appreciated a shorter lunch and getting to leave earlier.

If you wonder what a teacher professional development is like, this pretty much sums it up.

The afternoon session featured two activities that felt unnecessary (the first) and agonizing (the second). I had so much trouble completing the second activity – it was like my brain was stalled out and I could not turn it over. It was a nice final reminder of how the kids may feel on the first couple days, which I contend is the only good reason for coming to this before-school PD day.

At 4pm I followed my friend to her house and we exchanged keys. I left my car there in case she needed it, and I jumped into her (giant) F-150 truck. Then I sat in a ton of traffic, marveling at how high I was and how much I felt like I could just drive over everyone.

At my other friend’s house we got the fridge down the stairs and into the truck without much trouble. This was probably the only step that was easier than I was expecting…

Driving the fridge up to the city was no problem. Nothing flew out the back or anything. (Why yes, I was worried about that possibility.)

At home we got the fridge out of the truck and into the garage without only one misstep – one of the wheels on the the hand truck my friend lent me IMMEDIATELY shattered when we tried to move the fridge with it. Luckily the fridge had wheels on the bottom so we could roll it into the garage.

I filled the truck on the way back down at Costco; it was half full and it still took almost 17 gallons ($71!). I do not miss filing my car up with gas. (But also, I’ve never had a car that had bigger than a 15 gallon tank so, yeah.)

After I returned the truck, got my car, and picked up my daughter, we headed back home. It was 8pm before we got back. My husband, daughter and I got the fridge up the stairs. It was really hard, even harder than I expected.

Then I spent a couple hours changing the handles of both doors – so they would open from the left -before I put them on. It ended up being a really long day, and instead of feeling relieved that we’d gotten the fridge all the way upstairs, I was still wondering if I was going to regret it.

Doors on! This actually took hours and was frustrating because all the little plastic things that were in the screw holes I needed fell apart and I had to dig them out. I plugged it in that first night to make sure it was still working after all that jostling.

Friday

Friday morning I helped my daughter get out the door by 8am, and then headed to work. Instead of getting in before the traffic, I arrived after it.

I actually got a lot done on Friday. Instead of just throwing all my Spanish language novels onto the new shelving unit (which I secured to the wall!) I actually put them in alphabetical order, pulling some for the 1B library as well. I was so pleased I got it all done.

Yes, I’m using a DVD storage shelf, because the books fit perfectly on it.

I helped two friends put up their bulletin boards, and organized my hanging files. Before I left, I cleaned up so that my room would be ready for students to meet on Monday. (I won’t be in charge of them, but I volunteered my room to light a fire under my ass to get it ready). It doesn’t sound like a lot, but I was pleased.

I picked up my son from my parents’ house on the way home. We decided it would be good for him to practice walking home from school again, this time with his own key, so we stopped by the house to grab his Apple Watch and key and then I dropped him off at school. He did a great job again, and we’re all feeling confident that he can manage walking home alone next week.

Back at the house I pulled our current fridge out and cleaned the space, which was truly disgusting.

After I cleaned up the space – I just rolled the old fridge by the oven and plugged it back in – I pulled the new fridge over to see how well it fit. It was SO CLOSE to fitting. The only reason it didn’t fit was because my cabinets are not straight.

It fits on one side, but not the other. Grrrrr!

Here is the part where I gloss over how I tried to use my oscillating saw to cut a sold 1/2 inch off the whole bottom and it didn’t really work , so I just shaved some off a bit and then sandpapered it like crazy. The oscillating saw was so loud and so hard to manage. I kept thinking I had taken off enough but then it still wouldn’t fit. Finally I just pushed it into place, despite the face that it clearly didn’t have enough clearance. I really hope we don’t have to move it again ever.

I spent another hour or so putting all the drawers and shelves back in. I have to say, my friend took really good care of this fridge and everything was in pristine condition.

Fridge – there is on piece for the bottom of the door that I don’t have, but luckily my friend found it!

Bottom Freezer! This is the whole reason I did all this. I sure hope I like it as much as I think I will!

I turned it on around 5pm and by 8pm it was cold enough to move all the food over from the other fridge, which we then pushed into the back room so it could get warm. We’ll be moving it downstairs tomorrow.

So far I really like this fridge. That piece we are missing is important and once we get it we can reconfigure the shelves a bit (right now we need a spot for tall stuff that will eventually be on the door). I keep reminding myself that I haven’t found a model with a bottom fridge that would fit between the counters and under the cabinets, and that I was able to move it all and install it for almost nothing (just the $70 to fill up my friend’s truck). It’s been a lot of work and stressful, but it’s in beautiful shape and seems to be working perfectly and it fits well in the kitchen, so I think it was the right move. I’ll check back in in a week.

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Last Day of Summer Break

Posted on August 14, 2024 by noemikjames / 5 Comments

RIP summer break!, as my daughter would say. Tomorrow I’m contractually obligated to be at school, participating in professional learning. It’s always a rough day, but I’m thankful for it, because I wouldn’t be very productive on the first day back anyway, so I might as well flail about in a bunch of meetings, instead of when I have time to do things I actually care about.

The first day back also is a reminder of how bored our students are on their first day back, which is why I always plan games for the first couple days.

I can’t really believe summer break is over. I feel like I really wasted this past week. My house is in shambles, my classroom is a mess, I didn’t even manage to get the kids’ rooms in decent shape, despite them being home this week. It definitely feels like I failed, and I fear I’ll really be regretting my lack of effort later. But honestly, I could not seem to muster whatever was required to get shit done this past week and half, so I guess I just have to hope that the repercussions are not too dire.

Anyway, I am soooo glad that I had a week and a half of re-entry time between Hawaii and returning to work, because ho boy did I need it. I can’t remember a time when I was less productive than last week. My brain really did feel broken, and all the articles about dementia floating around (I think a study came out linking impaired sight and hearing to dementia at earlier ages?) were not helping.

But tomorrow I’ll have some time to put my “working” hat on, and hopefully I’ll even get a few things done before 3pm.

After 3pm, I’ll be borrowing my friend-from-work’s truck and taking it to another friend’s house to load a refrigerator into the truck bed. Then I’ll be driving home, and hopefully getting it upstairs so we can see if it will work in our kitchen.

I have to admit, I’m VERY ambivalent about this fridge. I’ve been actively NOT committing to it for years, (yes, you read that right, years PLURAL) but my friend was finally like, I NEED to get this out of my house and since it’s free, is a little bigger than our fridge, has a bottom freezer, and (almost) fits in the very restrictive spot our kitchen has for a refrigerator, I feel like I can’t pass up the opportunity. We’ve been worried our fridge would bite the bullet many times, and buying a new one is so uninspiring because the only two that fit are basically the exact same as what we have. This one is different – bigger and nicer – and it has a freezer on the bottom (which I’ve wanted for a while), and measuring suggests I’ll only have to cut about 3/4 of an inch from the bottom lip of our cabinet for it to fit.

I feel like I used to be ALL about taking advantage of a situation like this, but now all I can think about are the things that could go wrong. What if we can’t get it out of the house, or into the truck, or out of the truck? What if it still won’t fit, even if I cut the cabinets? The freezer door opens outward and the trays pull out and what if that design annoys me? What if the extra 2 inches of depth is really annoying when we’re opening the doors? What if I move everything out of the old refrigerator and we can’t even get the new one in the spot!? And then I have to put everything back into the old refrigerator and then move the new one downstairs to the very back of the house. (This is the only reason I committed, because the downstairs fridge is truly heinous and we have plenty of space down there for a bigger one, so we will be using it regardless.)

Ugh! I really don’t want to be doing this, but I’m worried I’ll regret it later when my fridge dies on me and I can’t find anything else that will fit there except the exact same boring fridge we already have, and it will cost $800 to boot.

Blerg. I really do not recognize myself here. I used to be so gung-ho to attempt stuff like this, but right now I’m freaking DREADING the whole endeavor. At least we’re getting the first really hard part done tomorrow, so it’s not looming and amplifying all the other back-to-school anxieties.

Speaking of back-to-school anxieties, we’ve been managing some REALLY big feelings around starting high school these past few days. Today, I asked my daughter to go through some of her larger books, and she made a pile with all her books about dragons and fairies, and then she promptly started sobbing and I realized I had picked exactly the WRONG day to be doing any of this. We did a lot of snuggling in front of the fifth episode of Good Girl’s Guide to Murder afterward, which almost made up for it, but still, it was an unforced error I’m definitely regretting. Luckily the teeth cleaning appointments and ADHD meds/sports clearance appointment went fine. Her pediatrician even called me in the morning and asked if we’d like to take a newly opened spot to see her instead of the random guy, to which I very appreciatively said YES! The pharmacy even had her ADHD meds in stock! A miracle!

Tonight I went to the dojo and I was able to SIT ON MY KNEES! Like fully and for a couple of minutes. It didn’t feel great, but I wasn’t in agony and it was absolutely the first time I’ve been able to sit that way since my injury in February. I’ve been working on knee flexion again this past week – after taking the summer off – and I was starting to wonder if I’d ever be able to sit on my knees again, so this felt phenomenal. Later, I was able to sit cross legged for the meditation, which was also a first.

Of course, when I stood up afterward, my knee felt kind of awful, and kicking felt precarious, but I”m hoping it will pass quickly and that I can keep making progress toward full flexion in my injured knee. My knee always feels pretty stiff and sore after I work on bending it, so I’m not surprised that it felt especially stiff and sore after today. I can’t really believe that I was able to sit like that today. I honestly got hot eyes, and almost started crying I was so happy.

And this post has been all over the place, just like my brain these days. Here’s to hoping tomorrow at work is not awful, and that we can at least get this refrigerator up to the city without too many issues. If anyone has any refrigerator-moving advice, I will definitely listen! Please share!

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Wins, small and big

Posted on August 13, 2024 by noemikjames / 5 Comments

First of all, seeing Chappell Roan at Outside Lands was phenomenal. Her performance was amazing, the crowd was INSANE (the largest crowd ever recorded at Outside Lands), and we all had the best time. I am so, SO glad that I got to go.

Chappell Roan looking fine in her “Hot to go” outfit!

80,000 people were there to see her. The crowd was intense.

And now, some other wins, both small and not so small, that I’m trying to appreciate right now.

Our Gap order came really early, which means I was able to start the returns for my daughter’s jeans (too big) and my son’s school shirts (too small) today, AND order replacements while the sale was still going on. Luckily, the only thing that did fit was my pair of $10 final-sale vegan leather black pants. Woot!
I was able to set up a new cell line on my daughter’s old Apple Watch. Sure, my husband had to get the number changed from a Philadelphia area code (WHY?!) to an SF area code, but otherwise, I managed it. I’m really bad at stuff like that, so I’m considering it a win.
I was able to return a pair of Nike’s I bought for my son in mid-July (but we hadn’t opened yet because they are WHITE), so he could pick out his first pair of Air Jordan’s today. They were on sale but still VERY expensive. He better not have a crazy growth spurt in the next few months.
I was REALLY bummed out that I forgot to bring my friend’s birthday card to the dojo on Saturday so I could leave it in her locker, but it ended up being a nice to have to walk there this afternoon. We even dropped the Gap stuff off at UPS on the way into the Mission. It was sunny for the whole (4+ mile) walk and we did a nice combo of listening to our audiobook (sharing my AirPods) and chatting. Oh, and that is when we got the new shoes.
At the end of the walk, my son practiced walking home from school by himself. I walked about two blocks behind him, and could see him most of the time. He did a great job, and feels confident that he can walk home by himself next week. (Right now he’s on the wait list for three afternoons a week at aftercare, and I will admit I kind of don’t want him to get in, so we can stop paying them at all. My husband feels differently. We’ll see what happens.) I can’t believe how mature my youngest child is now. We’re entering a whole new area.
I got my allergy shot this morning, followed by my bi-annual pap smear. The two appointments were at two different Kaiser buildings, but the timing was perfect for me to drive from one to the other. Oh, and my ADHD medication was actually refilled last Friday when I ordered it. That hasn’t happened in AGES. So it was all ready for me to pick up this morning. Hooray!
Speaking of appointments, two teeth cleanings opened up this Wed morning, the literal last day of my summer break, so I can take the kids in together before school starts. I had to cancel their cleanings in April and the rescheduled appointment was in October, which was basically six months after the one I cancelled. I’m glad we got in before school starts.
I was also able to get an appointment for my daughter Wed afternoon to be checked so we can refill her ADHD meds AND get her high school sports form filled out. We won’t be seeing her regular pediatrician, but it’s the guy who saw us while our regular Ped was on mat leave so at least he’s not a total stranger. ( We just saw our reg Ped at the start of the summer, to get a camp physical filled out, so it’s not such a bummer to miss her this time.)
I remembered to text my friend before her medical procedures today, and to text my other friend on her birthday. I also texted two other people with birthdays today (three birthdays on the same day!) It felt good to actually remember to show up for people, even in small ways. I’ve been so scattered and distracted lately, I was worried I was going to forget.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) I’m taking my son to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk because we don’t have anything planned and I we need to use our value season passes once more to make them worth it. The value passes don’t work on weekends, so a random Tuesday before schools starts it is!

And now it’s technically Tuesday, so I’m going to put this bad boy up. I’m sure I’m forgetting something (I’m ALWAYS forgetting something these days), but I’m determined that actually pressing “publish on this, will not be what I forget.

{I almost forgot! I went to upload the photos to WordPress and then got distracted and was heading to bed when I realized I never hit publish! This is my life now. My brain is seriously broken.}

Home/Life/Parenting & Family

Five on Friday: Scattered

Posted on August 9, 2024 by noemikjames / 3 Comments

I have been STRUGGLING this week. So scattered and so stressed. It has not been pleasant. Since it’s Friday, I’ll parse my scatterbrained state it out into five little chunks.

1. I’ve been processing sad news. I found out a couple close to us is separating. I can’t say much more about it yet (I’m sure I’ll be able to later), and it won’t affect our day to day lives, but it’s a bummer and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Also, the mom of two young kids at our dojo died of breast cancer. I didn’t know her well, but I know her kids and it’s devastating.

2. Changes are afoot, and change is hard. A lot of staff left last year and we just got the email with the names of all the new hires and it was a lot to process. The dojo has been having MAJOR changes in leadership and I don’t really know how it’s going to keep working without all the people that have left. It makes me irrationally upset that I can’t fathom what the future there will hold. The dojo has given me and my son so much, and I don’t want it to stop being what it’s always been for us. And my daughter is starting high school, but that will get its own bullet point below.

3. I’m all over the place both physically and mentally this week. One morning I went to get my coffee cup, but first I grabbed the blender (why?!) and then started pouring coffee beans into the grinder (why?!?) before finally just opening the cabinet and grabbing the stupid cup. This is how basically everything has felt this week, and I’ve really struggled to get anything done. The unpacking and putting away of luggage took forever. I got almost nothing done at work this week, despite being in my classroom for over 15 hours! I’m so frustrated with how unproductive I’ve been.

4. I’m spending money like crazy. It’s partly stress spending – I buy things that I think will solve problems when I’m faced with uncertainty – and it’s partly just start of school spending. Either way it’s too much and it has to stop, because it’s sending me into a shame spiral and I just can’t manage that shit right now.

5. Our daughter is starting high school next week and she has BIG feelings about it. And she’s bringing those big feelings to us (as she should!) and we have to stay calm and collected as we help her work through them, even when they trigger our own stresses and insecurities. It’s a lot. Also, my husband is really struggling back at work, so a lot of the hard stuff with our daughter is falling to me.

This weekend is Outside Lands, which will be so fun but will not provide much needed respite. Hopefully next week I can pull myself together and start getting stuff done, and feeling better about everything. Reentry is hard, especially at the end of the summer. I’m trying to remember that and give myself grace.

Uncategorized

Ping Pong thoughts from back at home

Posted on August 6, 2024 by noemikjames / 1 Comment

We’re back, and my brain is a jumbled mess of planning for the few weeks, preparing for the new school year, and looking back on how much fun we had this summer. Please excuse the lack of direction in this post.

Living on the west coast, we always fly east, and lose time, to go somewhere and fly west, and gain time, coming home. Hawaii is the only place where we fly east, taking the longer flight out and gaining time on the way there, and then fly west going home, with a shorter flight, but losing hours. I was very struck by how weird it was to be behind our normal time on vacation and to come home with it feeling earlier than it was. Very, very weird.

I’ve recently started listening to English-language audiobooks at 1.25x or 1.5x and I really felt like our Hawaii trip had a 1.25x vibe. It was our longest trip to Maui and yet it felt like it went faster than any of the others. I wonder if that’s because we feel so at home there now, and there isn’t any of that traveling-induced friction that makes you hyper aware of every moment when you’re away from home. We feel comfortable in the house, and know the island really well. We also know what it’s like to share space with this particular group of friends in this setting. The whole thing is just so easy, and I think that makes time feel fast on that trip. I’m really glad we were there for so long. We’re so lucky to have the opportunity to go somewhere so amazing, but have it be so affordable. The reality is we would have to save up for years to afford a week in Hawaii by ourselves, so I never take for granted that we’re able to go like this.

This was our first “issue-free” trip to Hawaii. No one was (knowingly) exposed to Covid before we left, the cats did not (literally) lose their shit, and we even flew home without any day-long delays or long stints on the tarmac. We’re finally out of the cycle of Alaska messing stuff up and then giving us credits so that we ultimately buy flights with them again. Hooray! No more Alaska Airlines for us! I think in the future we’ll be flying Hawaiian Airlines to Maui. We really liked them on our flight back home.

That is, if we get to go to Maui again. That trip is predicated on our friends being able to get the house, and then inviting us. As long as those two things happen, we’ll probably keep going.

Our flight was pushed back, which ended up being nice because we didn’t have to rush to leave the house. We were home by 10pm, which was late, but for us it felt like 7pm so it wasn’t so bad. The kids both have camp today. Our daughter struggled to get up, but it was for a camp she really wanted to attend (Ceramics and the California College of Art) so while getting ready was grumbly, she was in good spirits when I dropped her off.

The 10yo has a half day camp down at my school this week. I’ll be working in my classroom while he does some STEM stuff. He’s not thrilled about it, but he really struggles with long, unstructured days so he’s going! Luckily they both start school a little later than we anticipated, and get all of next week off before going back.

I start back (with staff days) next Thursday and Friday. I can’t really believe that, and I’m glad I have half days in my room this week to get my in the correct mindset. I’m also glad I have three days of nothing next week before I have to be back in staff meetings. Ugh, I hate district-mandated professional development.

But before anyone goes back to school, we get to see Chappell Roan at Outside Lands! My wristband came in the mail and I’m so excited. My husband and daughter are going, as well as my friend and her daughter. It’s going to be so much fun! I can’t wait! I’m also really curious to go to a giant music festival. It’s been years (maybe a decade!?) since I’ve been to any kind of giant concert, so I’m definitely interested to see what they are like nowadays.

I started this post yesterday and I’m going to post it now, so I can get back to unpacking everyone’s luggage and storing everything away. I have to admit, after so much travel it’s a relief to pack it all away knowing that we won’t be using it again for a while. I don’t know why packing and unpacking is so stressful for me – others seem to manage it fine – but it is and it makes the bittersweet quality of the August a little sweeter. I can’t wait to have all the packing cubes and luggage put away.

Photography/Travel

Maui 2024 Part 3 (of 3)

Posted on August 4, 2024 by noemikjames / 2 Comments

Thursday and Friday were big days! I guess I wanted to start August with a bang!

Thursday 8/1

Wednesday night I did laundry so that my one set of running clothes would be clean on Thursday morning. When I woke up at 6:15am I got up to run, instead of trying to fall back asleep.

This time I went in the other direction, which ended up being kind of a bust. I ran the bike lane behind the airport (we are RIGHT behind the airport) over to a beach outlet. It was a fine route, but I preferred the first one.

This park was def the best part of my run.

I love this kind of wood! And these birds!

When I got back to the house, I saw there were no clouds on Haleakala, so I thought it might be fun to spend the morning snorkeling. We didn’t have plans until 12:30pm, so I decided to go.

Of course, when I got there, the cloud that always sits above our favorite snorkeling place was back. I was so annoyed.

Of course, I still saw a lot of cool stuff. At one point I was floating above a huge piece of coral and there were just fish everywhere.

Since I was by myself (so no one would have to wait for me) and it was such a long drive over to that side of the island, I decided to hit up Five Graves, the spot where I swam with two turtles last year.

The tide was lower this time, which made it even harder to get into the water. Luckily, it was worth it.

First I saw a little turtle just hanging out under an outcropping of coral.

Later I saw this guy, swimming in the break.

I followed him around for a bit, because there is nothing more awesome than swimming with a sea turtle.

At one point I looked up and saw another sea turtle!

Then when I turned back around, the first one was right next to me. It was so cool.

I watched them both swim into the distance and was so glad I had come.

On the way home, I stopped to get my daughter a sweatshirt that she saw earlier in the week, but was later sold out. I got my son a Hawaiian chicken stuffie, because we love the chickens here.

I also stopped to get gas at the Costco, and because we needed more bagels I went in. Somehow I’ve never been to this Costco, even though I love Costco and I love going to different Costcos. Well, the Maui Costco did not disappoint! It was awesome and had so many Hawaii specific things. I got my husband and our friend Hawaiian shirts and myself a swim suit. My only issue was I couldn’t spend much time there because my husband was losing it with our son back at the house. I might have to go back to that Costco on our last day.

A bunch of adults in the group were getting massages at the house on Thursday, so at 12:30pm we headed to the pool. (I elected not to get a massage because it was expensive and I had just gotten one on my birthday.) The pool was amazing as always. I ended up hanging out with our friends’ 3.5yo most of the time, so I didn’t get many pictures. We did bring the GoPro though, and got some shots of us jumping off the waterfall.

Art work on the bottom of the pool, that was randomly caught perfectly.

Thursday night we went to dinner with friends again, this time to a soba place.

Friday 8/2

Friday was our biggest day. We woke up early and were out the door with our friends by 8:10am to head to Hana.

The road to Hana is 64 miles long and most of it is so windy and narrow that you can only drive 15-25 miles an hour on it. The trip generally takes 2.5-3.5 hours, one way.

By 8:30 we had picked up lunch and were off. Our friend got the Shaka Guide (see image above), which we listened to on the drive. It was definitely goofy in spots, but we learned a lot and it helped pass the time.

We didn’t stop anywhere on the way down. In fact, we didn’t even stop in Hana, we just drove past it to Haleakala National Park and the “Seven Sacred Pools.” My husband remembered our son’s 4th grade National parks pass and we got to use it one last time!

I will admit, the pools were a little underwhelming. I mean, they were awesome, but not worth a 5-6 hour round-trip drive. As the sole driver of the trip, I was honestly I little bummed out when we saw them.

Luckily, there was also a hike in the park, and PiPiwai Trail did not disappoint!

We started on the hike, and it immediately started to rain. It ended up raining on us for most of the hike, which at first we were grateful for (so cool and refreshing!) and later kind of annoyed by (our clothes and backpack and shoes were soaked).

There were tons of waterfalls, among other amazing views. The trees were beautiful too.

About half way up we crossed a bridge into a bamboo forest. Much of that part of the hike had wood paneling, which we appreciated because the regular path was getting very muddy in the rain.

The hike ended at the view of Waimoku falls, which was just stunning. I’m so glad I did not know much about this waterfall, because just looking up and seeing it was such a gratifying experience.

I took so many pictures of it, and none of them did it justice. The pouring rain certainly wasn’t helping my photographic efforts.

I will admit, the hike back to the car was a little rough. The kids were soggy and uncomfortable. Many of us had multiple mosquito bites and everyone just wanted to be done. Luckily it felt shorter on the way down.

On the way home we stopped at the Venus Pools, a local spot recommended by the Shaka Guide we were listening to. The walk to the spot was not well maintained and we all got eaten alive by mosquitos, but it was worth it.

Waves coming into the swimming hole from the ocean.

The swimming hole was our last stop for the day, because we had a 3+ hour drive home.

On the way we saw a rainbow, which was very gratifying after all the rain. Luckily there was a turn out right after we spotted it, so we could all get out and take pictures.

It was after 7pm when we got home so we just ate left overs at the house, watched some Olympics and went to bed.

Saturday 8/3

After being gone for 11+ hours on Friday, we promised the kids a low key Saturday. Besides a quick trip to Costco to fill up the rental car and to grab more Hawaiian shirts and sarongs, the kids and I stayed at the house. My husband and his friends did go to a brewery, but we did not join them.

I struggled on Saturday because I felt like I should be taking more advantage of our last day. I also had big feelings about how my kids were spending their time (mostly on screens), but I tried hard to let those feelings pass and enjoy the down time. I spent much of the day on the lanai (covered patio) and in the hammock (when it was cloudy) reading my book.

Prop, the property cat came to say hello.

By 4pm everyone was back at the house, and we enjoyed our final evening at the house together. It was so fun to be here again with friends, especially those who haven’t been able to join us in the past.

These palm trees get pummeled by the wind.

Sunday 8/4

Today (Sunday) we woke up and got packed, cleaned up our rooms and headed out. I was hoping we’d have time to hang out a little this morning, but it didn’t happen.

Our friends enjoying their last morning on the beach.

Instead we hit up Ululani’s Shaved Ice one last time. It was a great way to end the trip.

And now we’re on the plane. We’ll be taxiing out to the run way that I ran past a couple days ago and then flying out over the house we stayed in. Every time I see a plane taking off over the property I think, soon we’ll be on one of those going home. And now we are.

Photography/Travel

Maui 2024 Part 2 (of 3)

Posted on August 2, 2024 by noemikjames / 2 Comments

As you may recall in the last post, Saturday we hung at the house, slowly losing our minds from lack of sleep. Sunday we went snorkeling and Monday went to the pool.

Tuesday 7/30

Monday night it rained and Tuesday it was cloudy and damp, so we had to change our plans a little. Initially we wanted to do a hike on Haleakala’s summit, but a fire is burning up there so the summit has been closed all week. Our plan B was a hike called 13 Crossings, but it was supposed to be muddy and slippery during the best of circumstances, so we thought it probably wasn’t a good idea to attempt it after heavy rain. Ultimately we decided to hike the Hoapili Teail to the lighthouse on the southern tip of the island. We’d looked into it before, but most of the hike is over black lava rock and totally uncovered, which makes for a pretty hot combination most days, but would be perfect on a cloudy day that threatened rain.

We headed down there before lunch and started out. While the sun did come out every once in a while, it mostly stayed cloudy and we were very thankful for that.

There were lots of “blow holes” on the hike.

The first part of the hike, through a little forest by the beach, reminded me so much of Parque Tayrona in Colombia.

Much do the hike was over sharp black lava rock. It felt like we were on Mars.

Not much was in them, but the colors were stunning.

There was so much coral on the beach at the end. It was crazy to see all the white coral mixed with the black lava rock.

We saw a TON of goats during this hike. So, so many goats.

I likes this hike a lot. I’m glad we finally got the weather we needed to attempt it.

We packed lunches for the kids, but my husband and I stopped to get food on the way home. I got a plate of poke that was AMAZING.

We ran some errands on the way home, including a stop at a thrift store where my daughter found an amazing dress. Also, there was a mama hen with her chicks, that were briefly separated in the parking lot. It was quite the drama.

Then mama hen and two chicks went one way…

…while the rest of the group chirped chirped in the street. Luckily they found each other in the end.

The rest of the day was pretty chill. It’s so easy to relax in Hawaii.

I have not spent nearly enough time in the hammock.

Wednesday 7/31

Wednesday we went back down to “the Dumps” (as the locals call it) to snorkel with our friend. I love snorkeling and this is the only week of the year I get to do it, so I’m always down.

And even though the sun didn’t come out at all, we had a great time. We saw both a turtle and an eel!

Can you spot the sea turtle? Munch on coral under the rocks?

Eel! He was snapping at me when I went down to take a video of him.

I love this guy. He let me get really close.

We headed back to the house around 2pm. I realized I had the time and space to do a workout video outside, which was lovely.

I wish I could always workout right here.

We hung out on the beach by the house and in the hot tube for the afternoon, then my husband and I went to dinner with our friends. We hit up a sushi spot that was amazing. It was so nice to have a quiet night without our kids.