Found this on Shutterfly, from 11 years ago. I don’t usually post photos of my kids, but I just can’t help myself.
I hope you had a great Turkey Day (if you celebrate).
Thanksgiving Throwback
With Friends
After a weird and at times trying conversation with my husband in the car, we are with friends tonight. Our kids are home along and I appreciate this very much. and that might be it for today.
Please enjoy these photos of the deYoung Open, which we saw together.
Emotional Heavy Lifting
My husband has been dealing with what we think is clinical depression for about a year now. Some days/weeks/months are better than others. Some are worse. We’re in a down swing right now. He’s struggling. Which means I need to step up, both pragmatically and emotionally. It’s been a lot. It’s throwing various wrenches in my week. I’m tired and wishing I could do more. And annoyed I have to do so much.
In the meantime my car was serviced. I took advantage of the Target near the car service place (and its sale) to get some presents. I cleaned the compost and recycling bins, which were so gross and smelled so bad every time I walked past them on the way to my room.
The kids and I put ornaments on the tree. Panther tried to knock a bunch of them down. I started the calendar on Shutterfly.
And I almost forgot to post today. I thought I’d have more time to participate in NaBloPoMo this week but it feels like I have less.
Trying to roll with the punches right now. Just trying to show up how and when people need me. Trying to get things done and chill out.
Doing Future Me a Solid
Today was all about helping future me out. I went to work to get some stuff done so that next Monday morning me was not totally overwhelmed (just normal overwhelmed probably). And I took the Basics and Form classes from someone who is sick today so I wouldn’t have to teach them in December. Neither were tasks I wanted to do, but now that they are done, I’m glad I did them.
I think a lot about “future me” and how I can help her out. I sometimes think about “past me” and how she did me a solid. Generally, in the moment I try hard to anticipate how I might be feeling later. Like with the martial arts classes – I knew I’d have more bandwidth, both physically and mentally to reach that class today than I would at any point in December. When the opportunity to take it today came, I took it immediately, even though a part of me was really bummed to have to do it during my break. I know December me is going to be so happy it’s done.
On a more frustrating note:
My SIM card stopped working mid-bus ride today and I’ve spent the last 90 minutes trying to figure out what to do about it. I can’t access Verizon’s customer support because they send me a text to verify my account when I try to log in and of course I can’t receive that text at my number. It’s the most infuriating Catch-22. My husband is now chatting with someone for me – thank god we’re on a family plan together – but it’s of course taking forever and may not resolve the issue. I do NOT handle this kind of tech failure shit well so it’s been frustrating.
The icing on the cake is that tomorrow I need to take my car in at 8:30am to get serviced. There is a Verizon store not too far away and I suppose I’ll just sit there until it opens tomorrow if need be. I did put my daughter’s SIM card in and my phone recognized it, so hopefully it’s the SIM card and not my phone’s SIM card reader. My iPhone is a 13! It should not be crapping out on me yet!
Sorry for the super short post, but it’s all I got in me today. The thought of being out in the world tomorrow without a car or phone is not a pleasant one.
UPDATE: My husband was able to get them to activate an eSIM in my phone so it’s working again. Thank goodness!
OTHER UPDATE:
Cat-proofing the Christmas tree
Today was another nice day of break. After two days of gray and rain, the weather today was beautiful. I took my son and his friend (who spent the night) to the Great Highway with their bikes. This time I felt great running and would have wanted to run much longer but I was having some hip pain, so it was probably best that it was a short run.
At home I got the Christmas tree up and secured. Last year our kittens were only five months old and fairly new to our family at Christmas. I was nervous about putting up the tree so I secured it to the sides of the two doorways it sits between. I left those anchors up all year so I could do the same again. The cats are bigger and heavier and no less curious. They climbed into the tree quite a bit last year but it never fell over. I hope that track record continues to stand (the not falling over part I mean).
So this is how I cat proof our Christmas tree. I zip tie it to a small table and then tie it with twine to anchors in four spots on the sides and to another spot behind on the wall.
All that keeps the tree standing. But what about the ornaments? Last year I only used the non-breakable ornaments. This year I’m going to leave the tree up for a couple days with just the lights so I can see what the cats do with it. If they aren’t in it much I might put some of my favorite photo ornaments up toward the top, where they don’t usually get to. We shall see.
How do you keep your decorations safe from four-legged friends?
The reality of it
It can be easy to see a one-week break as an opportunity to do ALL THE THINGS and hard to remember that life still has to happen, even if formal work doesn’t. It took me a lot of years to pair down my expectations of week-long breaks to better reflect what’s possible. I still need reality checks from time to time.
This morning I sat down with my planner and gave myself the reality check I needed. I wrote a list of what I want to get done, and the specific time commitments we have, and started prioritizing things in recognition of the fact that it’s just not all going to get done.
And we’re off to a good start. I went to the dojo today for General and Sparring. Sparring was really fun because it was only blue and red belts there so it was all ground grappling. I love ground grappling and have a lot to learn, and everyone had something valuable to teach me.
My daughter is at her grandparents’ house and my husband is out with a friend. My son has a friend over tonight so I’m not on call to keep him occupied. We a got pizzas and played Ticket to Ride and now they are watching a movie. I got my 1B tests scored while they were playing and finished a book I’ve had from the library for MONTHS.
I’m quite pleased by my first day of break. I hope the rest of the week can be as nice a balance of productivity and down time as today was. Hopefully my morning planning will help make that possible.
And now this cat would like me to stop writing so I will oblige her.
Five on a Friday
Five things on a Friday seems to be popular around these part of the blogosphere. I’ve never done one before, but I think I can probably figure it out. 😉
So five things I’m thankful for at the start of this Thanksgiving Break:
Appointment Availability
I can still not believe I can take the car in and get a new prescription this week. The car has needed to be serviced for MONTHS and I really want to take advantage of vision insurance covering one pair of glasses per calendar year. The fact that I can get both done when I have the time and space to do so is amazing.
Older kids
And I don’t have to worry about child care coverage while I do these things because my kids are old enough to stay home by themselves. So while I’m making my way home Tuesday morning after dropping off the car my kids will be watching themselves at home while my husband is at work. It’s a whole new world.
Bringing a side
I can also check off these old, festering boxes on my to-do list because I am not in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. My parents make the main meal and I just bring stuffing, which is my favorite thing. I am not a whiz in the kitchen so I appreciate not having the stress of pulling of such a large culinary event.
Margins
I have plenty to do this week but I’m pretty sure I’ll have the margins available to get most of it done. We aren’t traveling and we don’t have much planned. I’ll spend half a day at work closing out the first trimester and preparing for trimester 2. I’ll score some tests at home. I have plenty of photos curated for the calendars I need to order. My daughter is ready to help me put up the tree and decorate the house. I think it will all be pretty doable, especially if I use my time strategically.
Family and Friends
I’m excited to spend some time with my parents and my in-laws this week. A couple friends are not going away so I’m hoping we can hang out. I think a few of my kids’ friends will be around. I’m taking them and a friend each to Great America’s WinterFest the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It should be the perfect mix of hanging out at home with the family, being with extended family and seeing friends.
Limping to the finish line
Today was a rough day at work. The kind of day where I sat with the heels of my palms in my eyes for long stretches.
So many students making poor choices. So much effort just to get them to do the bare minimum.
And then my daughter and I went to cheer on her friends (and my friends’ daughters) in their championship volleyball game and they lost at the end of the 3rd game. It was heart breaking and I’m exhausted so this will be all I write tonight.
Just one more day of school before the Thanksgiving break. We all need this week off, and badly.
Should I stay or should I go?
Go to martial arts I mean. And I really struggle with it sometimes.
I am VERY good at sticking with my workout routine. I work out at least four times a week and honestly, I don’t think even major illnesses have kept me from hitting that number most of the time. Exercise makes me feel good, both mentally and physically, so while there are nights I don’t want to do it, I only skip a planned workout if I know I can fit it in elsewhere.
Martial arts is different. First of all it requires about 30 minutes of travel time on either side. It’s not that far, but I need to take the bus (parking in that area is a nightmare) and by the time I walk to the stop, ride the bus, and change into my Ki at the dojo, I need a solid 30 minutes. I actually really like the bus ride – I can actually read or play games on my phone! – but that adds an hour to any time I’m actually there training, which can lead to some long, late nights.
Martial arts is also pretty hard, mentally. It doesn’t usually get my heart rate up to a point where I feel great afterward, but it does require a fair amount of mental fortitude to get through a class. If I’m trying to make it two classes? That is really a lot.
So when it comes time to head to the dojo, and I can find a reason not to go, it’s really hard not to take it. Today I was supposed to be there, but my trip to Costco took longer than expected and I got home right when I needed to leave. I don’t regret the run to Costco because it will only get more crazy there in the lead up to Thanksgiving and I’ve learned the hard way that there is no day a week before the big meal where it won’t be a zoo.
I was waffling on what to do, but ultimately I remembered I needed to have a document ready with a ton of links for my student teacher, who starts her two solo weeks right after the break. I promised her I’d have it by Thursday and I have other work to do tonight, so I decided to stay home. The fact that no one else was here, and I could get the work done on the elliptical, definitely sealed the deal.
But I still feel like I copped out of a promise I made to myself. I struggle with showing up at the dojo when I’m not preparing for a test. I’m a blue belt now and there is an expectation that it will take a long while for me to test again (at least a year, probably longer) which makes it easy to say, oh it can wait.
But I also really love practicing martial arts, it’s just a more complicated, longer term love. It doesn’t provide me with the immediate endorphin rush of a workout, so it’s easier to switch a class for a run or strength training or the elliptical. Especially when I can write blog posts (hey there!) and get work done on the elliptical.
Speaking of which, my time on the machine is up, and my husband and daughter are home. I’m glad I didn’t go to the dojo, because that document required more time than I expected and I’m relieved to have it done. Did I mention I scored the last two classes’ tests last night?! Just in time for Thursday, my no-prep marathon of a teaching day. I really hate Thursdays.
How do you decide when to show up for your own interests, and when to let them go? Are some things harder to show up for than others?
Big and small wins
Sorry for my pity party toddler tantrum last night. After I pressed publish I sat down and graded the fronts of 1.5 classes’ assessments AND finished the backside of one class. So I went from being 1/4 done to 2/3 done! Hurrah! I have grand ambitions to finish off another classes’ tonight.
At work today I made a service appointment for the car and an eye appointment – both for next week when I have so much time! I still can’t believe that happened. I was seriously going to ask if they had availability for the car the first week of January.
Finally, I went to PT and I think the exercises and stretches he gave me are going to help. I did one lower back release and held a plank for one minute and the movements that usually send pain down my leg were no problem! I’m trying not to get too excited but if this is all it takes to resolve pain I’ve been feeling for two years I’ll be thrilled.
APEC is in town this week which means Presidents Biden and Xi are in San Francisco as I type this. What a shit show downtown is going to be all week. I’m so glad I do not have to venture there. My husband and daughter do, and I really hope it’s not as bad as everyone fears. Still, not my immediate problem! Woot!
I’m in line to pick up my daughter’s ADHD medicine, which is always a giant PITA but is officially happening so I can’t really complain. (Well, I already did, and loudly, to my husband, so I’ll leave it that). As long as I am actually picking up the stuff when my number gets called I’ll be happy enough.
I still have to move everything out of my bathroom, but I’m not as annoyed by it after all I got done today. I just hope they really do finish by the end of the week. At least the plumbing part… my guess is we’ll have unfinished floors in there for way longer than I’d like.
UPDATE: Getting my daughters Rx filled truly sucked but it’s over and I have it so I’m letting it go. Still need to deal with the bathroom, but dinner is almost done.
Here’s to big and small wins!