I don’t wanna

I’m not in a great head space. This week is going to be a tremendous slog, and I just want it to be over. I fear I will push a bunch of work to the break and then be resentful when I have to work over the break. If I want to get it done this week I have a lot of long nights ahead of me.

Our bathroom is getting torn up this week and I’m so salty about it. It’s not just the $8K (but ho boy does the $8K take my breath away), it’s also the inconvenience. But mostly it’s the fear. My bathroom is one of my favorite rooms in a house that can drive me a little crazy. What is they bust it up beyond repair? What if I hate it when it’s all over.

I feel like we’ll be spending a spectacular amount of money and I’ll probably like the space less when they’re done. Blerg. Why do pipes have to get holes in them. Such bunk.

I feel like I’m not even showing up here in the ways I wanted. I told myself I could do this, but maybe I can’t. At least not in the ways I wanted. I know it’s okay, but I’m still disappointed.

Mostly I’m just not sure why I’m getting my ass handed to me so hard this school year and I’m nervous about it. Is it really my student teacher? Or did I just take take on more than I could manage when I tried to accommodate so many students wanting Spanish? Or am I just getting old and run down and unable to keep so many balls in the air?

Sorry, didn’t meant to show here like this today but it’s where I’m at.

Here are some photos of the cats, who survived their vet visit. We may be investing in two micro chip feeders that will (in theory) keep Serval out of Panther’s food dish. He is a solid sir who evidently can’t get any more solid lest the weight gain cause him to develop diabetes. 😬

Panther explored all around. She also hissed when she got her shots.
Serval stayed in his carrier, but was way more subdued when he had to get his shots.

We’re all glad it’s over!

5 Comments

  1. Oh goodness, I will be thinking of you, and I hope you at least get a beautiful bathroom out of your unwanted remodel! $8k. Gulp.

  2. I am hoping better days are ahead and I am sorry everything is tough right now. It’s no fun having to have repairs – for that amount of money – and then not even seeing where the money went. It sucks.

  3. A LOT of students, Huge amounts of work by you and required of you. Of course you are pressed.
    Then to have bathroom torn up and pipe holes involved….. so not fun and not visible once it is done.
    Yes, as you point out, what you finish this week frees up tgiving vacation time to actually vacation ~ but getting that work done in advance is another huge time demand. You never have spare time.
    All adds up on top of other obligations like the vet this week. That you keep getting so much done is amazing.
    Much support and sympathy. Good thing your cats are so cute!

  4. Ha ha, I like the title of this post. So… it’s stressful having work done in your house. Especially if it means tearing up your favorite room! I hate having strangers in the house, to begin with. Then there’s the inconvenience of not being able to use the room for a while. We had our kitchen re-done over the summer, and it was SO STRESSFUL even though it was what I wanted. The old kitchen was terrible, and the new one is so much better. But I just hated the whole process.
    So you’re allowed to complain! Also, my husband is a teacher and he’s about to have a nervous breakdown. He has three days of school left before Thanksgiving break and he feels like he’ll barely get there.
    So don’t worry- show up here however you like. If everyone’s life were constantly rainbows and unicorns it would be pretty dull anyway. We’re here for you!

  5. Deep breath. You’re showing up. This is not a competition. And this is your life, currently. We’re here to support you in any way we can – even if it’s just listening and commiserating.
    My parents’ just had a pipe leak at their house and yeah, I feel you on the bathroom repair. No fun 🙁

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