So close

I suppose I made it through the month without losing my shit, since it didn’t officially happen until this morning. So, yay me?

I really f*cking hate crying at work. I hate it with a passion.

At least it was during my prep, and I can always blame my red eyes on allergies.

I just have to get through five periods. I can totally get through five periods. I. can. do. this.

I started a new practice where every morning, after meditation, I vow to myself that I will refrain from blaming my negative emotions on other people or circumstances.

It has been a surprisingly enlightening experience. It really helps me put a little distance between my upset and the situation I believe is causing it. I still feel the full force of my emotions, but when they aren’t tied to something or someone I feel I can blame, they resolve much more quickly. It also helps me become aware of the attachments that are fueling my anger or sadness. What expectation is not being fulfilled? What specific outcome was I attached to and why? Without blame I can see my reactions for what they are, and respond to them more appropriately.

I will refrain from blaming my negative emotions on other people or circumstances.

It’s hard to remember, but always enlightening when I do.

9 Comments

  1. I love this!

    Good for you, what a great thing to tell yourself. I’m sure it’s helpful! My husband would benefit from thinking about things this way. He blames everyone/everything but himself first, and then reflects later. 😣

  2. You can do this. Only 5 periods then Spring Break.
    I love your mantra & such an awesome thing to do. I need to do this as well..so guilty.

    1. It’s a great mantra. I discovered it in a really amazing book that I hope to write about soon. It’s been very helpful.

  3. Interesting. My first thought as I was reading this was, if you don’t blame things on other people, you will be taking a lot of blame on yourself. But it sounds like that’s not what’s happening. Instead it’s a way to avoid waiting for someone/something else to change. I’m glad to hear that.

    I had a similar revelation recently when I was really down and thought it was all my husband’s fault (not in a right/wrong sense, just in his needs being different from my own). I started to think as out what I was going to ask him to change, then I realized that was the wrong attitude. I started thinking about what things *i* could change to make myself feel better. It’s been much more effective, so far.

  4. Simply sending you a warm blanket of caring. Because that sounds like a miserable morning.
    Absolute hopes that Saturday is the start of a better week and month.

  5. I have a similar motto, but I phrase it a bit differently. “I will accept that I am responsible for my reactions and emotions, I will feel my emotions and then let them go, and I will attempt to figure out my part when my first thought is to blame another for my emotions.” Longer too, but I prefer to frame things positively so I avoid being negative toward myself. I hope the rest of the day was better and you are rejuvenated after your break.

  6. I thought the same thing as Deborah initially—don’t blame yourself! But then I realized that you aren’t—-there is no blame—its just a feeling. Acknowledge, accept, and let go. Easier said than done, of course.

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