Tis the Season

It turns out Christmas is already upon us, even though Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet.

I’ve been on a shopping ban for the past two months, so I guess it’s not surprising that these past few days the pendulum has swung a bit far in the other directions. Three steps forward, two steps back, and all that. The good news is I’m pretty sure I got it out of my system.

I’m having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. I started thinking about Christmas cards, which I didn’t sent out last year, but I’m considering sending out this year since I haven’t been on social media for over six months and a lot of family and friends haven’t seen or heard from me in a long time. Then I realized that I didn’t have a decent shot to use if I did make a card, so I started planning a holiday picture. In the end I decided on something that I got kind of excited about, but now that I’ve started to execute it my enthusiasm is waning. I’m not sure I’m even going to make a Christmas card, but I definitely need a good holiday shot for the ornament I make every year, so the picture is happening no matter what.

I just can’t seem to get excited about reaching out to other people right now. I have absolutely no desire to do so.

{Side note: Being off social media has absolutely affected the number of photos I take of my kids. I used to have about a thousand a month to download off my phone, now I have 100-300, and very few of them are very good. I’ve been totally fine with that, in fact my husband and I have started a fun game where we try to send the silliest, worst photo of our kids to each other, which always makes us laugh. But now I have to make the 2017 calendar and I’m panicked that I won’t have enough good shots to include. Next year I need to make sure I take at least a few good ones every once in a while.}

I’m already dreading the present part of the holiday. My son is already losing his shit about the toys he wants, and he just had a birthday! My daughter is much better about that kind of stuff now, and as long as she doesn’t set foot in a store before Christmas, she probably won’t be too bad.

But I’m already fielding questions from my parents and in-laws. Can we get your daughter this crazy watch?! Can we get your son this catapulting train set? Ugh. I want the answers to be a resounding NO! but then I sound like a scrooge. Maybe I am one.

I am enjoying purging the kids toys in anticipation of all the new shit that will come in. I packed one big garbage bag of stuffies and two grocery bags of other toys and plan to take them to the Young Families Resource Center on Tuesday. Yay for less stuff!

I guess it’s good that I don’t want to think about presents. Maybe then I won’t go overboard buying them.

I wish we could focus more on giving back, on volunteering and helping those in need, but I think even my daughter is still too young to be legitimately helpful. And I don’t know if I have it in me to deal with her whining on top when the whole purpose of the exercise is to embrace gratitude.

I am excited to put up our tree, and I have plans to make some old toys into ornaments, which puts a smile on my face. So there are some positives to look forward to. But right now, they feel few and far between. Even Thanksgiving feels like a chore, with all the chaos in my family right now, I’d honestly rather avoid it all together.

So yeah. That is where I’m at. Sorry for the downer post. I’ll try to put up something more uplifting tomorrow.

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