Not a Wasted Word

Coming in super late with the first post of NaBloPoMo, which will be a surprise to NO ONE.

I really love Halloween, but this year felt a little meh. I can’t quite figure out why, but I guess not every Halloween can be amazing. Here are some highlights from this year.

Costumes

The 15yo was the Headless Horseman. She wore slacks and a nice shirt and a Wednesday Adams-ish jacket and a pumpkin head thing we got at Daiso. It was cute. The 12yo was Michael Myers. He wore a $60 Michael Myers costume that we bought at Spirit Halloween several weeks ago. I didn’t love that he dressed up as that character, but it wasn’t a battle I wanted to fight. There were Michael Myers costume for ages 5-6, so I’m clearly not the worst parent in the world. Our staff did 6-7 meme costumes, and I had a colleague make me a shirt with a double three and a three four domino. It ended up looking pretty cute. Many staff got shirts that were subject-specific and most of them were very clever. I have to admit, it ended up being more fun that I was expecting.

Halloween evening

Both kids went directly with friends after school and for the first time ever we did not accompany either one on their trick-or-treating adventures. Instead the husband and I went out to dinner. It was really nice! We don’t get any trick-ot-treaters in our neighborhood, so we just went to a nearby restaurant and marveled at how old our kids are getting. Later I stopped by a house party at my friends’ place. It was a pretty chill Halloween.

Spirit Week

Spirit Week was a kind of a dud. Not very many kids participated. I was a little bummed out about it, but the staff showed up and I had a lot of fun dressing up, so I’m letting it go. The 12yo also had spirit week leading up to Halloween and he was adamantly opposed to participating on any day except pajama day. I feel like Spirit Week used to be a big deal, but maybe kids these days aren’t into it? I really don’t know…

Simpsons Halloween Countdown Calendar

Costco sold a Halloween Countdown Calendar and of course I bought it. Every day the 12yo opened a little door and found a Tree House of Horror character. He LOVES The Simpsons and REALLY LOVES the Tree House of Horror episodes, so it was pretty fun.

Trick or Kick

Last week my daughter had to go to swimming on Friday – not her favorite thing – but she came back happy because they played a fun game where swimmers randomly picked sets and activities instead of doing a regular practice. I thought it would be fun to do something like that during my Teen class at the dojo the morning after Halloween. It was kicking day, which worked out because it’s easy to come up with a bunch of quick kicking activities. A few were, rapid fire round kicks, flying side kicks, and fake-up front kids. That was the Kicks part of the game. The Tricks part was really fun to put together. We did things like Basic Form with eyes closed, sparring with one hand behind the back, bear crawl while balancing cones on their backs. I was worried no one would come, but there were ten kids there today. They really liked the game and we all had a lot of fun. They left begging to do it again soon. It was probably my favorite part of Halloween this year.

I’m keeping posts short for NaBloPoMo this year, and honestly there isn’t much else to say about Halloween this year. It was fine. And now it’s over and it’s basically Christmas already, if the stores have anything to say about it.

I know I mentioned here that the 15yo applied for an (unpaid) internship and made it through the application and (Zoom) interview phases. This weekend is the in person “group interview” and she is supposed to have her shift preferences ranked, so the husband and I sat down this week night to talk about it. There are shifts every day of the week – the weeknight shifts are from 6-10pm, the weekend day shifts are 7am-4pm and the weekend night shifts are 6pm-midnight. It’s totally bonkerballs. Since we need to drive her to and from this place, which is on the other side of the Golden Gate Bridge, our shift preferences are as important as the 15yo.

Initially we thought the weekends should be our first choice, but quickly I realized that I actually hated the idea of either waking up super early on Saturday or Sunday (earlier than for work!) or picking up super late on Friday or Saturday. If I have to pick a kid up at midnight on a weekend, I can’t drink on that evening. And if I have to wake up at, or slightly before, 6am on a weekend, I shouldn’t drink the night before. It’s not like I get wasted every weekend night, but I enjoy a cocktail or two most weekend nights, and the thought of giving one of those nights up, every weekend from December to June, really bummed me out.

Like I was really upset at the prospect of it. It felt like I was offering for someone to take half of my weekends away. It made me really sad.

Is that crazy? Am I relying too much on a couple of cocktails on the weekend nights? Should I take this deep sense of sadness as an indicator of something else?

I honestly don’t know. I’m feeling a lot of feelings about the prospect of drastically altering our weekends, and then I’m just as many feelings about the original feelings, wondering what it says about me that just considering this possibility makes me so very sad.

And that’s all I have on this right now, because this post is already late and it’s Thursday so I have no prep and I have a ton of assessments to score so I have to sign off.

How do you feel about the weekends? Would you be really sad to have to drastically alter your weekends?

It feels like, all of the sudden, the year is hurdling to a close. The end of the trimester is three weeks away. There are four weeks until Thanksgiving Break! How did that happen?

October thoroughly kicked my ass.

But! There have been little pockets of wonderful.

Unicorn Girl last week was wonderful. I listened to all nine episodes in three days. So did my daughter. We walked around all weekend marveling at how bat shit crazy the whole story was. We couldn’t get over it.

I was genuinely sad when it was over.

The $8 extra-long clipper guards I ordered that came today were wonderful. It was a shady little set, the seller name on Amazon was a long string of numbers and letters. I had little-to-no faith that they would fit securely to the clippers, let alone actually cut my son’s hair. But I figured they were only $8 so I might as well try them, since the thought of trying to cut his hair with scissors again was paralyzing me with fear.

They came today and I tried them out and they worked GREAT. His hair looks awesome. And it’s not too short! It’s just the length he wants. I used a 2″ guard on the top and front of his hair, a 1.5″ guard around the middle and a 1.25″ guard along his neck and ears. It took me a minute to figure them out (there is a reason regular guards stop at 1″) but once I did they worked very well. I’m SO THRILLED that there is a quick and easy way for me to cut my son’s hair again, and that they chances of me making a horrific mistake are back to a minimum.

{I offered to take him to a proper barber, but he didn’t want to go. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, so he just wanted me to cut it, like I’ve always done, but he wanted it much longer than it’s ever been. The last time I cut his hair (the first time with scissors instead of clippers) was agonizing and the end result was… less than stellar. I’ve been dreading cutting it again, so I’m really excited about these longer guards that put me squarely back in my comfort zone.}

I also got my new glasses! And they are wonderful! They are taking me a minute to get used to (my first pair of progressives), but I can tell that once I do I will really like them. They are so light and comfortable. And they look good on my face. I have not loved my last TWO pairs of glasses, so I’m really looking forward to having a pair that I actually want to wear.

In non-thing’s-that-delight-me news, I missed another post on the 25th. Oh well! This weekend was very full, and now my house is very clean! The 12yo has been celebrated by everyone who loves him, and has received all the gifts he’ll get until Christmas.

The husband and I have been dealing with some friction since he came back, and I actually started a post about that, but I knew it wouldn’t go up tonight so I wrote this one instead. I have another post that touches on a deeper-level topic sitting half written in my drafts folder. Maybe I’ll get them both up during NaBloPoMo?

A girl can dream.

With these new occupational progressive lenses, anything feels possible!

It’s late Wednesday night and I’m starting tomorrow’s post because Thursday’s always suck and tomorrow is going to be a DOOZY, so I’m trying to get ahead of it.

Unfortunately I have no idea what to write about. Next month is going to be soooo fun!

I’m not sure about my “new” meds. I put new in quotes because I took it for a long time, a long time ago, so it’s not really new to me. I don’t really remember why I switched from it (Strattera) to Ritalin, but a month into taking Strattera again and I think I might have an idea. I definitely feel more… scattered right now. But I’m also getting a lot done. So I don’t know if it’s that I really am more scattered, or if it’s just a feeling. It’s hard to explain. I’m going to keep taking it for a couple more months before I decide if I’ll give it a full year or go back to Ritalin (or another stimulant). The recent week-long 15yo’s prescription refill drama is definitely factoring into my decision-making. I so wish ADHD meds weren’t always so hard to fill. Drives me crazy.

I am going to ask to go down to the .5mg Estrogen patch because my breasts are still really tender. I guess I wasn’t totally crazy in worrying about MHT side-effects! My body is really sensitive to hormones! I’m glad the only major issue is sore breasts. It could be a lot worse.

The husband’s snoring has been SO BAD since he got back. I’m actually looking for ear plugs. Anyone have an ear plug that actually muffles really bad snoring? Seems like an impossible feat.

It’s now late Thursday night and I haven’t added anything to this post. Boo!

Elizabeth casually mentioned Unicorn Girl in her post yesterday, and my ears perked WAY up because I’ve been struggling with my audiobook selection and a well-produced soap opera-y podcast about batshit crazy is just what I need right now. I started it on the way to work this morning and listened to the first four episodes today. It’s EXACTLY what I needed to make today better, and I’m so thankful that I “found” it. Thank you Elizabeth! (Yes, I also thanked her on her own post.)

This post is all over the place and saying nothing so maybe I should just put it out of its misery? I’m working on a Self Reflection assignment I gave my students (I always feel like I should complete new assignments myself) and it’s been pretty interesting so far. I’ll probably share my findings (or maybe the whole project) with you all later.

I guess I’ll end with this thought… Today my 1A classes did a set of stations that has always been super stressful, but this year it went pretty well. I guess I finally made enough tweaks, and they have compounded over the years of learning what DIDN’T work, so that now it finally does work! I appreciate that very much, because the final product of the day is pretty great, and now I know it’s possible without running myself totally ragged.

I’m also creating a new reading and speaking assessment based on a novel my 1B students just finished and I’m excited about that as well. I think I will be impressed with what they can produce, and it always feels good to be impressed by your students, especially when you taught them pretty much everything they know in the subject. 😉

I’m trying to post every other day in October. The goal has been to hit publish at some point during the “odd” days. I published Friday’s post on Saturday and then didn’t put anything up Sunday. Now it’s 10:30pm on Tuesday evening and I’m trying to get work done, but the fact that I’ve fallen off my posting wagon is nagging at me…

I have to admit, the week of solo parenting eventually caught up with me. The 11yo’s birthday party was pretty hard to host by myself, especially the hour in the “party” room where the boys were supposed to be eating pizza and drinking soda, but were instead playing with their food and drink. I would have just left early and taken them to a playground, but one kid was being picked up 15 minutes early from the trampoline park and another was being picked up from there at the original end time, so I couldn’t pack them all in the SUV and just leave. The last half hour of the party was interminable (they were not allowed to go back out and jump).

But I survived, and the 11yo was happy, and I’m so relieved it’s over. This weekend the grandparents are coming over, which means the house needs to be cleaned up. I don’t love the grandparent birthday parties at our house, but they have to happen so I will suck it up. This is the third weekend in a row I’ve not looked forward to, and I REALLY need Halloween weekend to break this spell. I need the weekends to be reprieves from the stresses of life, not their own little stress bombs waiting to detonate!

In happier news, the 15yo was invited to the group interview next weekend. She is thrilled. And so are we!

Tomorrow my youngest turns 12 and I have big feelings about it, but I promised him I wouldn’t make the day all about me. 😉

I managed to run today, which was a nice consolation prize since I couldn’t make it to the dojo (the husband had a late night commitment which made it hard for me to be at my late night class). Here is a photo from that run. Some trademark Bay Area fog for your viewing pleasure.

Unfinished and on the wrong day.

Things kind of fell apart last night but don’t worry! We’re all fine! I was going to tweak this post to publish it today but f*ck it. I’m posting it because who cares and I’m already a day late with it.

Fall has fallen!

The rain storm we had on Monday brought much cooler weather than we’ve been having. September and October are usually our warmest months, especially in San Francisco proper, but the air is finally feeling crisp and cool. On Monday our heat kicked on and we keep the thermostat at 62! I’m definitely here for the cooler weather, and I hope it keeps up, though I’m sure there will be some more surprisingly warm days before it officially cools off.

I pulled my Halloween leggings out of the shed last week and now I need to get my sweatshirt dresses and Ugg boots from the winter clothes box (also in the shed, but harder to access). I have a few Halloween decorations up in the house, and I got a couple new things for Spooky Spirit Week, which is the week of Halloween at school!

Half way through husband’s trip

The husband is in Amsterdam. It’s nine hours ahead. We can only chat on my way to work, when he’s in the middle of his day or on my drive home, when he’s out late. Needless to say we aren’t getting to talk much. I miss him! Solo parenting isn’t that hard as my kids are older and can do a lot themselves. Having said that I feel like I can never sit down because I have to take advantage of every moment. Part of this is because my inlaws are coming in the morning to help the 6th grader get up and to school, and they will clean anything I leave out, so I feel like I need to have my kitchen in pristine shape before I leave in the mornings. I hate for them to clean up my messes.

Getting to work has been kind of a shit show, because I need to feed the cats before I leave and that, combined with keeping my kitchen pristine, has me leaving later than usual. On Tuesday I hit so much traffic that it took an hour to get to work. On Wednesday I forgot my coffee and water. Thursday and Friday were better – I even got parking spots in the front on those days!

I’ve been making sure to get every last minute of prep done before I get to work, in case I pull up right before the bell rings. This takes a significant amount of time! I get a lot done in the normal 40+ minutes I have before the bell rings! I’ve also had to stay for 30-40 minutes after work most days this week, to do the stuff I can’t, or don’t want to, bring home.

The 11yo

My favorite sparring buddy is back at the dojo after a several-month hiatus (first for summer break, then for baseball). He came back at the perfect time because they are just starting their Junior Leadership program and he is interested in participating. I really hope he continues to find the dojo a fun and meaningful place to be.

After a ROUGH couple of weeks, things have been a lot better for him at school. I guess the one teacher he was having a hard time with (that he has for TWO classes), has gotten better. I wonder if someone else talked to him before we could? It seems like things in that class have changed significantly. Seems unlikely those changes happened organically…

He’s of course VERY EXCITED for his birthday. His friend party is this Sunday. His actual birthday (he’ll get his big present from us) is Wednesday, and his grandparent birthday party is next Sunday. He gets to feel special on THREE DAYS! Sounds about right.

Today I drove to his school, parked the car, found him and showed him how to take the 48 down to Mission and 24th and then how to walk from there to the dojo. We stopped in McDonalds to get him a 20 piece chicken nugget and a frozen Coke. The timing worked great for his 5pm class, which he could never get to on time if he tried to get home (on the bus) first. I’m so glad it worked! I also showed him how to get home from his baseball game on the bus on Saturday, since I need to be at the dojo. He’s getting so independent! I’m really proud of him.

The 15yo

I realized last night – when the 15yo mentioned how much I’d been in her room – that I was lonely and lurking because I wanted company. Luckily she likes to hang out with me and didn’t mind. She has found her rhythm at school, can manage the homework better, and is going to swimming twice a week. Do I wish she were going to swim at least three days a week? Sure! But I’m not going to say anything, because it’s her life and she needs to do what feels right for her.

She applied for an internship at the Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito and got an interview on Monday! She was so thrilled to have made it through the first round! I REALLY hope her interview goes well. We’ve talked through the questions and we’re going to do a first practice interview on Zoom tonight. She’ll do at least one more practice interview with her dad via Zoom over the weekend too.

Other Random Updates

I got my Covid and flu shots on Monday. My arm was super sore but I never felt shitty. They finally filled the 15yo’s ADHD prescription earlier this week and I picked it up.

I am had my eye appointment and am trying occupational progressives for the first time, where the majority of your vision is most of your reading prescription, so you can see clearly for like 10 feet but distance is not great. She said if I hate them I can bring them back within three months and get regular progressives. I just know “the boost” at the bottom of glasses just isn’t enough for me anymore. I’m really excited to try something new. My new glasses should be in late next week.

I saw my kids’ dentist for the first time on Wednesday. I have to go back to get three cavities filled or refilled. Such a bummer. I do not have great teeth.

I haven’t made it to the dojo yet this week, but I did do a Sims 60 Bike Boot Camp on Wednesday. I didn’t start u til 8pm, and it was really hard, but I rocked it! I was really proud.

My friend’s memorial was Sunday. I will admit that I had been dreading it. I just knew I was going to cry the whole time.

And I did cry. A lot But I also talked a lot, with people I haven’t seen in many years. It was nice to see them again, even though we all wished it were under different circumstances.

My friend was an amazing person who touched many, many lives. She died suddenly, and relatively young, and we were all there to remember her and to try to make sense of the fact that she’s no longer with us. It was hard.

I was also reminded that I am an important part of the lives of many people, even people I don’t see much anymore. I appreciated being reminded of that.

Monday I had a pretty bad emotional hang over. My eyes were so puffy it looked like I’d been punched. I was mortified walking to the eye doctor’s – I would have cancelled if I weren’t so desperate for a new pair of glasses. My face didn’t look normal until well into the afternoon.

I was really glad it was a three day weekend.

I took the husband to the airport around 1:30pm. He has been very supportive of me this past week; I’ve been kind of a basket case with the memorial service looming. I was sadder to see him go than I expected. It has felt empty and lonely in the house without him.

I appreciated the weather though. We had our first rain storm, and the dark, wet, weather matched my mood. I got my flu and Covid shots at Kaiser on the way home (they STILL couldn’t fill the 15yo’s ADHD prescription) and stopped at Costco to stock up on freezer foods. Once I got home, I put on cozy pj pants and reveled in our first rain storm of the season.

I made a ton of pumpkin pancakes for the 11yo’s lunches. I vacuumed and changed my sheets. I graded two sets of group projects. I finished up the week’s plans in all the classes (which I had started at swim yesterday). I planned all the afternoons this week, so I know what I’m expecting to accomplish each day. I helped the kids make their lunches. I PUT THE CANS OUT.

Now I’m working out, which wasn’t originally on the docket, but I realized during my planning session that going to the dojo tomorrow wasn’t really going to work for me. I’ll take the 11yo for his class, but staying for my class will be too hard, so I’m working out tonight instead. Honestly, I should have known I was going to work out because I can’t sleep in clean sheets without taking a shower. And I don’t take a shower unless I work out…

Yes, I’m a bit of a weirdo.

It’s going to be a long week without the husband. Luckily I thought to get some gum and candy for the 11yo’s party favors while I was at Costco. I can’t believe his party is this coming Sunday, and that I’m throwing it by myself. We usually have his friend party AFTER his actual birthday, not before. It’s really throwing me for a loop.

I have a couple of posts partially done. I hope to get them up later this week. So far I’ve hit my posting every-other-day goal pretty consistently, and we’re almost half way through the month.

Last week was long with parent/teacher conferences every afternoon and the memorial service looming. This week will be short, at least work wise, and I’m leaning hard into that when things feel stressful. I’m also reminding myself that it’s okay if we don’t make it to something. I have my first teeth cleaning with the kids’ dentist on Wednesday, but otherwise everything is “optional.” and that’s okay.

Daria asked what working out looks like for me these days and I started that post, but then realized I want to post pictures of my strength set up, so I’m going to push that post to early next week, and instead put up some pictures of my cats, because they are a huge part of my life, even though I don’t write about them much. I honestly don’t know what we’d do without them, they are the stars of the show each and every day.

Panther likes to climb into my sweatshirt, while Ike wearing it, and then peek her head out the arm or neck hole.

I hope you enjoyed some cat pictures, because there are few things in this world I enjoy more than my cats.

I was going to have this up early Friday but then the kitchen sink wasn’t getting hot water and I had to spend over an hour fixing it. But I did fix it! And it doesn’t leak! So yay for saving $300+!

And then Friday happened and now it’s 8pm. Blerg.

This week was parent conferences at work and I’m SO GLAD it’s over. I hate the 35 minute classes. I don’t love talking to parents and students all afternoon. It’s the longest, most exhausting week and I’m so happy it’s in my rear view.

The 11yo’s final baseball game of the middle school season was Wednesday. I collected money from families for coaches’ gifts. I bought eight pizzas and a flat of Gatorades at Costco. I delivered it all to the game and the kids and families were happy and grateful. When I got home I promptly emptied the baseball backpack and packed his regular backpack and thanked all that is good in the world that I wouldn’t have to pack his cleats and gloves and mitt with his school stuff again this school year.

The husband leaves for Amsterdam on Monday and he found out earlier this week that there was a black tie dinner in the programming. He doesn’t have a tux, and he doesn’t buy things much, so I had to provide a significant amount of support as he decided if he should rent in Amsterdam or buy immediately at home, and then where and what he should but and then how he should return what didn’t fit him great and finally today he has an ensamble he’s happy with and I’m breathing a big sigh of relief.

This Sunday is the memorial service for our good family friend. My mom is speaking. I know I’m going to cry the whole time, for literal hours. I’m kind of worried that it will be an issue when I get my eyes checked on Monday, because crying for 4+ hours does a number on my eyes. I hope I can still figure out my new prescription.

I put up my Day of the Dead decorations, including my ofrenda. A picture of my friend is on it and it’s hard to see her all day every day, but it’s also good to have her close. There are moments sometimes when I think I see her in the world and I have this weird feeling like, “oh I thought I lost that but it’s right there!” and then I realize that a part of my brain thought it was her and another part knew it couldn’t be her and I’m just gutted. Once I even whispered her name I was so sure I had seen her. But of course it wasn’t her.

Sunday is going to be so hard.