Wow. I have really had a hard time showing up here this summer. I apologize for my protracted absence.
Ostensibly, this summer has been really lovely. And it has been! The trip to St. Louis was great. The long weekend at the farm with family was wonderful. Our birthday weekend in LA visiting friends was amazing. Honestly, I can’t complain about how anything has gone this summer.
And yet, I’ve been plagued with anxiety. I’ve had stress dreams about work all summer, even though I’m not consciously worrying about, or even really thinking about, work much. I’ve been feeling unsettled and agitated. My eyelid twitches a lot. Today I got an ocular migraine for the first time in… honestly I can’t remember the last time I had one it’s been so long. I don’t know what my problem is, but I haven’t felt great.
A couple weeks ago I started having trouble sleeping, and getting hot flashes again, and some light googling suggested that it’s common for menopause symptoms to return during the final month of using the Femring. I guess it just doesn’t really last for 90 days for a lot of people. Luckily I had patches left over and so far they have helped keep the hot flashes at bay and haven’t given me horrible rashes yet. My new Endocrinologist wrote me a new prescription for the 0.1mg ring (I was using the 0.05 ring before) and I ordered it immediately, but it’s taking forever to ship so it might not come before we leave for Hawai’i. I just hope the patches don’t start giving me rashes before that.
Did the tapering HRT cause the anxiety? I’m not sure. The hot flashes went away as soon as I put on a patch, but the anxiety lingers…
I did a garage deep clean before the LA weekend. It has been a pain point for a while now, and I wondered if it was the source of some of the anxiety. I spent 2.5 days cleaning it out. Before it looked like a disaster area and now it’s cleaner than maybe it’s ever been. We have to walk through the garage to go from the main house to the unit where we sleep, so it’s not like we could employ an “out of sight, out of mind” attitude with the garage. Also, the laundry is down there.
I do think having the garage look and feel pristine is helping me with my anxiety, but it also helps highlight how most other areas of the house are still a mess. My goal in these days between LA and Maui were supposed to be all about me doing a deep clean of our unit, but I can’t seem to make it happen. Today I packed myself for our last trip and I think that will me get that space under control.
Anyway, sorry to come back and then just talk about anxiety and my probably misplaced attempts at controlling it. Mostly I just wanted to let every know that I am okay! Everything this summer has been fine and I will try not to disappear again while we’re in Maui.
Great job on the garage! I dread tackling the hard spots in my home too but always feel so much better once its done. This is the dreaded – make my son try on all of his clothing to purge everything too small or that he won’t wear and figure out what I need to buy to replace it – week. It.is.torture for me, but I love afterwards how everything in his drawer fits/he will wear it and at least I (usually) only have to do it once per year!
I have anxiety, too. Tidying up is by far one of the best methods to feel better. Plus exercise and lexapro.
The garage looks great and that must have felt sooo good to get that done! Happy to hear from you: we have about one week left in Italy and we are back on the 30th 🙂
Impressive job on garage and glad you documented it for yourself. (And shared with us!!) I found doing that with ‘garage clean up&out’ really helped me. Also in doing one area or room at a time with documentation. Because doing it well takes a lot of time and we often do not hold the memory of those accomplishments. Also the “pretend we are moving ,do I need to actually keep, this” game in other spaces/rooms.
HOPE the issues this summer are hormone fading consequences and new ring arrives & can be used before trip. Really want you to start the new school year in an up position as the first weeks of new year are always super intense. Are you YearBooking again this year?
Have a lovely peaceful relaxed Hawaii time!
HURRAH FOR YOU 6 on Saturday post!!! Big wonderful happy achievements. Thank you for getting it posted even without adding the comments buttons. I am so glad you are now in Hawaii. Sunscreen and happiness and time to pause and relax!
Re mail drugs…. my last fem product was filled at lab, about 45 miles (I checked on mapqu***) sent to my city on West Coast, forwarded to Houston, then to New Hampshire, then Chicago and then to 14 times through my city post office system before coming to my house. Took 13 days. Right. GLAD YOU CHANGED TO YOU PICKING IT UP. Hope you get the relief you need. Why am I not going to mail in my ballot, (assuming one is mailed to me as it has historically been).