Wow. I have really had a hard time showing up here this summer. I apologize for my protracted absence.
Ostensibly, this summer has been really lovely. And it has been! The trip to St. Louis was great. The long weekend at the farm with family was wonderful. Our birthday weekend in LA visiting friends was amazing. Honestly, I can’t complain about how anything has gone this summer.
And yet, I’ve been plagued with anxiety. I’ve had stress dreams about work all summer, even though I’m not consciously worrying about, or even really thinking about, work much. I’ve been feeling unsettled and agitated. My eyelid twitches a lot. Today I got an ocular migraine for the first time in… honestly I can’t remember the last time I had one it’s been so long. I don’t know what my problem is, but I haven’t felt great.
A couple weeks ago I started having trouble sleeping, and getting hot flashes again, and some light googling suggested that it’s common for menopause symptoms to return during the final month of using the Femring. I guess it just doesn’t really last for 90 days for a lot of people. Luckily I had patches left over and so far they have helped keep the hot flashes at bay and haven’t given me horrible rashes yet. My new Endocrinologist wrote me a new prescription for the 0.1mg ring (I was using the 0.05 ring before) and I ordered it immediately, but it’s taking forever to ship so it might not come before we leave for Hawai’i. I just hope the patches don’t start giving me rashes before that.
Did the tapering HRT cause the anxiety? I’m not sure. The hot flashes went away as soon as I put on a patch, but the anxiety lingers…
I did a garage deep clean before the LA weekend. It has been a pain point for a while now, and I wondered if it was the source of some of the anxiety. I spent 2.5 days cleaning it out. Before it looked like a disaster area and now it’s cleaner than maybe it’s ever been. We have to walk through the garage to go from the main house to the unit where we sleep, so it’s not like we could employ an “out of sight, out of mind” attitude with the garage. Also, the laundry is down there.
I do think having the garage look and feel pristine is helping me with my anxiety, but it also helps highlight how most other areas of the house are still a mess. My goal in these days between LA and Maui were supposed to be all about me doing a deep clean of our unit, but I can’t seem to make it happen. Today I packed myself for our last trip and I think that will me get that space under control.
Anyway, sorry to come back and then just talk about anxiety and my probably misplaced attempts at controlling it. Mostly I just wanted to let every know that I am okay! Everything this summer has been fine and I will try not to disappear again while we’re in Maui.
